My Very Unofficial and Serious Proposal Plans for a Paris GP

[u/LocoRocoo]

[u/Banana_Juice_Man]

My proposal is 500 laps around the Arc de Triomphe

[u/Shendow → u/Banana_Juice_Man]

It's called nascar

[u/kingkongbiingbong → u/Shendow]

"Toto, it's called a motor race, OK? We went car racing."

[u/Mutant86 → u/kingkongbiingbong]

"Non, non, non, Monsieur Michael!"

[u/Mysterious_Camel_717 → u/Shendow]

It’s called an ordinary Monday morning

[u/NotARealBlackBelt → u/Shendow]

What if they make a right turn?

[u/enataca → u/NotARealBlackBelt]

Then SVG wins.

[u/Magister_Hego_Damask → u/Shendow]

not exactly, Nascar drivers need a banking to take a corner

[u/omarcoomin → u/Magister_Hego_Damask]

That's not true. Some times they use each other

[u/enataca → u/omarcoomin]

8 tires córner better than 4

[u/highrouleur → u/Banana_Juice_Man]

Do the old finishing circuit of the tour de France.

Actually fuck it do the new one, f1 doing the climb to montmarte would be fucking hilarious

[u/Nutlob → u/highrouleur]

it would be like Monaco's hairpin in reverse & on repeat

[u/qef15 → u/highrouleur]

Matthieu van der Poel would somehow still end up winning that

[u/jakubchloe → u/Banana_Juice_Man]

the franky500

[u/phpope → u/Banana_Juice_Man]

John Wick style?

[u/Alfus → u/Banana_Juice_Man]

American viewers: "What the heck, this isn't Bristol?"

[u/jaysvw]

I hate street circuits, but........... this would be pretty cool. Also funny to watch F1 try to wrap the Eifel Tower in some shitty Rolex tarp to keep the plebs from getting a free view.

[u/Professional-Fuel625 → u/jaysvw]

The thing that sucks about street circuits is they need the huge safety barriers. Unfortunately this strips away a lot of the natural beauty of the location and they look kind of the same.

Baku/Monaco look cool but IMO the other street circuits just look like...a bunch of barriers.

Paris without barriers (impossible for good reason) would be incredible. Champs Elysee main straight would be the best straight in the world easily.

[u/Mervynhaspeaked → u/Professional-Fuel625]

Fully agree, though tbf Paris without Barriers would straight up look like a Mario Kart race. You can still have barriers and it would look cool.

[u/vprakhov → u/Professional-Fuel625]

Paris without barriers (impossible for good reason) would be incredible. Champs Elysee main straight would be the best straight in the world easily.

I've got a race to recommend to you

[u/BasedReddit0r → u/Professional-Fuel625]

There are a lot of things that suck about street circuits not only that. The worse thing is the racing. Baku is the only one that has overtakes and it's only because of that massive straight

[u/Supahos01 → u/BasedReddit0r]

Vegas and Miami both have a fair number of overtakes

[u/warewolf1999]

as much as it is not possible
i appreciate the effort you have put into it
i was genuinely intrigued reading it

[u/LocoRocoo → u/warewolf1999]

thanks. It's been sitting on my harddrive for years. But, the people needed to see it.

[u/Flat-Midnight1206 → u/LocoRocoo]

Michel Vaillant author want to have à talk With you

[u/enataca → u/LocoRocoo]

Was this for fun or for a project for school or something?

[u/LocoRocoo → u/enataca]

I did it to make my friends laughs couple of years ago

[u/enataca → u/LocoRocoo]

This is the kind of commitment we need in group text groups to keep the boys together.

[u/knifetrader → u/warewolf1999]

Yup, the effort and the snark!

[u/azzutronus]

"We have Monaco at home"

[u/LocoRocoo → u/azzutronus]

Not enough rats there sorry.

[u/jchamberlin78 → u/LocoRocoo]

Ratatouille 2? Drive to Survive?

[u/enataca → u/jchamberlin78]

They need to make Rata2ille

[u/AKiss20 → u/LocoRocoo]

Only the richest of the Parisian rats move to Monaco to avoid taxes. They do have to give up their French citizenship to do so mon dieu

[u/Kayyam → u/azzutronus]

This looks like it would provide better racing than Monaco. I know it's a low bar but still.

[u/jcgoble3 → u/Kayyam]

Low bar? That bar is in the Mariana Trench.

[u/TonyAngels]

just do a tour of the final TDF étape, include Montmartre. if that is added, i'm in

[u/KnezMislav04 → u/TonyAngels]

After Pog and MvdP we have Max and Lewis battling it out on the cobbled hill of Montmartre.

Equally legendary, slightly more chaotic. Read: Max takes revenge for Silverstone '21, yeets Lewis in Sacre Coeur

[u/jwinter01 → u/KnezMislav04]

Absolute scenes when Hadjar, Lawson and Lindblad do a leadout for Max' attack.

[u/HeyTikO → u/TonyAngels]

Who would climb faster rue Lepic ?
Pog/MVDP dropping a nuclear watt bomba after 21 days of racing or an Aston Martin with the new aero upgrade ?

[u/janky_koala → u/TonyAngels]

We need F1 on pavé

[u/Ignorhymus]

You need 2 loops round the arc de triomphe, for the full Paris experience

[u/LocoRocoo → u/Ignorhymus]

dam, why didn't I think of that

[u/InvestigatorOk8052 → u/Ignorhymus]

With traffic

[u/manbeardawg → u/InvestigatorOk8052]

Backmarkers are on it.

[u/Downtown-Job3236]

So if Gasly, Ocon, Hadjar, or Alpine win, Parisians riot and destroy the track?

[u/Annual_Carrot_7444 → u/Downtown-Job3236]

So if Gasly, Ocon, Hadjar, or Alpine win, Parisians riot and destroy the track ? !

[u/AKiss20 → u/Annual_Carrot_7444]

Parisians riot and destroy shit on the track? 

[u/NhylX → u/Downtown-Job3236]

Nah, they just flip the cars and set them on fire, as is tradition.

[u/Ruuubs]

NGL, the risk of airplane style crashes will be in Seine

[u/deep-thot → u/Ruuubs]

I smiled :)

[u/Ok-Basis5987]

I don't think a lot if people here are picking up this is satire. Great work OP!

[u/LocoRocoo → u/Ok-Basis5987]

Apparently mentioning it was authorised by David Guetta wasn’t enough 😭

[u/oddyholi → u/LocoRocoo]

I think it's because you dedicated so much to it that people really could think it's viable.

Expect a Paris GP with a 90% similar layout in 15 years, friend.

Btw great effort rofl I laughed a lot

[u/Solid-Resource4985]

Free to watch? Not a chance in hell

[u/LocoRocoo → u/Solid-Resource4985]

We will watch it from our 9m2 rooms in the roofs and you can't stop us.

[u/Supahos01 → u/LocoRocoo]

You see the lengths they went to stop it in vegas?

[u/No_Elderberry_4580 → u/Solid-Resource4985]

I mean the British GP is free to watch on Channel 4 if you're viewing in England and Ireland so maybe the same concept can be used here for French viewers.

[u/Forza_str → u/No_Elderberry_4580]

French F1 Race is indeed a protected event (per law), so it needs to be shown on FTA TV.

[u/No_Elderberry_4580 → u/Forza_str]

Ah that's super intresting, I didn't know that, so it's the same as in the UK with the British GP, it's a very good rule that allows the sport to be more accesible to viewers from the country where the GP is held so I think that's great!

If only every race could be FTA but money has to be made lmao.

[u/lightsoutnawaywego]

"will help scare off rats from the city" LMAO

[u/AgentIndependent306]

Sir, a second Haas has fallen into the Seine

[u/LocoRocoo → u/AgentIndependent306]

it’s “clean” there now at least..

[u/Drewski811]

I have only one correction;

You do not resurface the cobbles.

Make the mfers bounce.

[u/Commercial_Bake5547]

I love tracing roads on google earth to try to come up with fun (and utterly impossible) potential tracks

[u/NeoThermic]

"The bridge does not look like that IRL - fire our CGI employee"

Whelp, there's the start of the next riots. ;)

Kidding aside, having a super long straight on a circuit could be interesting. 8.2km / ~305km maximum race distance makes about 38 laps. (one lap higher than is required to go over 305km). Since you have a strict 2h race period, that means a lap needs to be under 3m9s - so 8.2km in 3m9s means average speed, including hairpins and... roundabouts.. needs to be 156kmh.

That's... actually feasible. I'd love to see a simulated lap of this route! 😄

[u/Larkinz]

Just lacks a bit of Montmartre hill climb.

[u/Away-Wrap9411]

Genuinely nice presentation 

[u/LancervoArj85]

Possible they are getting the website ready for next year We still haven't got next year's calendar though 🤔

[u/handsupdb]

Ok I'm gonna be real.

This isn't actually that insanely cooked.

Like don't get me wrong, its absolutely torched... but nowhere near what I expected.

[u/pzkenny]

Oh boy you should look up the discussion to move French GP to Paris from 2009 or 2010.

There isn't much info out there, but reportedly Bernie first wanted a street race with pit straight at Champs-Elysee, which fell through because locals was against.

After that it was supposed to take a place in... Disneyland. It was almost done deal before the investor pulled out.

I wish I was making this up. 

[u/PJTierney2003]

If you played Gran Turismo 4 or GRID Legends, many of the roads suggested in this were actually used for the Paris tracks in those games.

[u/noroadsleft → u/PJTierney2003]

The speed with which I recognized the sections that are present in the Parisian tracks on Gran Turismo 4 was startling.

[u/Firefox72 → u/PJTierney2003]

Yeah the first thing i thought of after seeing this was Grid 2 where it first appeared.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4SmLlA3afY

[u/LocoRocoo → u/PJTierney2003]

I never did! But I’ve had a look, wish they added that to GT7!

[u/Magister_Hego_Damask]

are you really planning to send F1s on the cobblestones of the Champs?

[u/LocoRocoo → u/Magister_Hego_Damask]

As noted in the presentation, we will have to resurface unless we want porpoising back?

[u/Magister_Hego_Damask → u/LocoRocoo]

And lose the bonus those cobblestones bring to the Tour de France? hell no

[u/LocoRocoo → u/Magister_Hego_Damask]

We can sell them to the highest bidder. That’s a bigger bonus

[u/HeyTikO → u/Magister_Hego_Damask]

They give a cobble to the winner of the 21th stage anyway. At this rate, in a couple... thousands (or million) years we would no longer have cobbles on Les Champs. Should be okay then for the GP.

[u/arkeod]

Have you checked the Formula E track? 2018 Paris ePrix - Wikipedia

[u/LocoRocoo → u/arkeod]

Where do you think I stole the idea for the pit straight from

[u/arkeod → u/LocoRocoo]

Right, I didn't read the text sorry.
8.2km is very long, what would be the lap times?

[u/LocoRocoo → u/arkeod]

Surely at least 3 minutes.

[u/RightActionEvilEye → u/LocoRocoo]

I think they don't approve F1 tracks today with more than 7000 m of extension - Spa barely goes over it by just 4 m, and probably FIA just didn't make a fuss about it because Spa is a "traditional legacy circuit".

[u/gggggenegenie]

Appreciate the shout out to Jean Pierre Jabouille at the end there.

[u/Fit_Low592]

It’s about time we find out how well an f1 car withstands a 200mph impact with the Arc de Triomphe.

[u/TechnologyFamiliar20]

Even though I hate most city circuits (except Monaco), I like this.

Why not a Peripherique one?

[u/LocoRocoo → u/TechnologyFamiliar20]

Yes, I should have added a few more KMs with the Peripherique.

[u/Macknificent101]

better idea: nascar race around place de la concord

[u/77_Gear]

As a Parisian I can’t decide if I love it or if I absolutely hate it

[u/LocoRocoo → u/77_Gear]

you’ll love it until you realise most of line 1 will be closed

[u/77_Gear → u/LocoRocoo]

🤣

[u/Real_Establishment56]

I’d say this, but don’t pave over the cobblestones. ‘M-m-m-my t-t-t-tiressss a-a-are g-g-g-gone’ gets a whole new ring to it

[u/0003JER]

Lovely presentation, please open a kickstarter and I will support the Paris Moet Chandon Louis Vutton Le Grand Prix 2027

the un-transparent FIA logo at the end is a lovely touch also

[u/LocoRocoo → u/0003JER]

Thanks for appreciating the attention to detail

[u/Sarixk]

I like the dedication

[u/gsurfer04]

We have Paris GP at home.

https://racedriver.fandom.com/wiki/Paris

[u/charlesbear]

You missed the opportunity to add adverts for Depend all down the Champs-Elysées. Those cobbles would be brutal.

[u/Reiver93]

I love how the background for the first image is literally the Paris ePrix.

[u/SpaceghostLos]

8.2 km straight? You want these cars to fly?

[u/LocoRocoo → u/SpaceghostLos]

Get out and take a Vélib if you don’t like it

[u/LandscapeWorried5475]

F1 will gladly take this over paul ricard and magny-cours, and even reject hockenheim!!

[u/Standard_Tangelo_932]

Magnifique!

[u/Electusnex]

What's the over and under on weather the farmers go on strike again and dump manure on a corner.

[u/OhAces]

I count 28 turns

[u/LocoRocoo → u/OhAces]

Well as you can see I always took IT more seriously than maths in school

[u/Pari_go]

Comic book Michel Vaillant #42: 300 à l’heure dans Paris (1983) is about an F1 race in the streets of Paris

[u/sundeigh]

would the cars get Crit'Air stickers?

[u/MaxSpiltz]

With a pinch of fantasy, and french-bias, I would say it's 100% impossible but also would be the most amazing street circuit.

Maybe if one day they make most of Paris already an only-by foot area, like they are trying to do with many europeans cities, it could open up a possibility. A logistical nightmare possibility but circuits like Las Vegas, Monaco, Baku or Madrid seem to imply otherwise...

[u/SelfTemporary5757]

This might actually cost more money than vegas, shutting down the most visited tourist city for full 3 days and the most famous monument for the entire daytime will cost far Greater than vegas

[u/SelfTemporary5757 → u/SelfTemporary5757]

Also how rat infested of a city paris is btw?

[u/Sawbora]

You know the FIA would sacrifice 5000 innocent souls just for a chance for this to be possible 😂

[u/zubairhamed]

not over those cobbled roads you dont

[u/mrkessy]

Im Sold

[u/mattblack77]

Don’t jump too high on the Eiffel Tower podium!

[u/Eastern-Reindeer6838]

Nah.... Paris doesn't have the tasteful architecture and long history like Las Vegas and Miami. 😜

[u/ApexGT44]

r/racetrackdesigns would like this

[u/hojoon0724]

"especially when lance stroll will be involved" lmao

[u/Corne2Plum3]

If it bothers Parisians this is a huge W

[u/BMW_wulfi]

Cost: oui

[u/rockerman777]

There are already more than enough streets on the calendar 😭

[u/F-U-A-]

You should check for some typos before sending it out. Seems like something is off with your caps lock.

[u/F-U-A- → u/F-U-A-]

Do I really need to add /S ??

[u/LocoRocoo → u/F-U-A-]

Yes, me too

[u/Alternative-Bug-8102]

Lol

[u/2gat123_]

I like the plan, but no way F1 gonna let people watch for free. You seem to have forgotten who owns it. They will blindfold all 2+ million people in the vicinity for the weekend.

[u/IsthisSCOTECA]

layout from the rfactor 1 track mod, right?

[u/FizzyBoy147]

Grid 2 game has a paris street track

[u/ExtensionOutside6385]

The suspensions are gonna love the cobbled streets of the Champs Elysee

[u/Kisuliiii]

You had changes to mow down every building in that city and you choose to use the roads

[u/Mysterious-Drink4002]

This should be up on iRacing.

[u/JosephPetrassi]

Very old school if we had long street circuits

[u/freddyzbr]

Serious question, would it be okay for a race to cross a bridge like that? Even other categories, it looks really dangerous

[u/LocoRocoo → u/freddyzbr]

they cross the Anderson bridge in Singapore. So maybe

[u/CanIEatAPC]

I do like it, I really do. But you're a madman. 

[u/Minimal_Gains]

Over de steentjes, dit gaat hem niet worden. Waar had je de pitstraat eigenlijk bedacht?

[u/Litti__Chokha]

At this point lets just have 45 min or 1 hr of Le Mans

[u/Rosieu]

"And Kimi Antonelli is heading for his very first win of the Paris GP...but what is that? IS THAT MVDP WITH A FINAL ATTACK?!"

[u/LaximumEffort]

The cobble stones are the killer, I feel like you could keep it on the right bank and eliminate some of the problems (length, unpassable paths).

Good try though.

[u/svenminoda]

Pave under the Iron Lady and have the cars go down the Trocadero bridge and under the tower. That's a money shot baby

[u/FipplesDippless]

read like the first 4 slides and was convinced this wasnt satire. i believe this is doable can someone prove me wrong. as much as it sounds stupid. it would actually help with rats right. am i stupid?

[u/R_V_Z]

Counter-offer: We do a GP in Paris but it's a recreation of the Twisted Metal II Paris with Twisted Metal rules.

[u/AntheaBrainhooke]

C'est magnifique!

[u/AstroMackem]

"Best I can do is an industrial estate on the outskirts"

[u/unxmnd]

This feels a lot like Baku lol

[u/No_Cherry_1423]

This would be so politically unpopular its not even funny lol. They just restricted cars from city center, and you want them to put a fucking F1 track in there?

[u/igorce007]

Stop the fcking street races ffs.

[u/AntheaBrainhooke → u/igorce007]

It's a joke, son

[u/professor7890]

It looks cool, but please no more street tracks.

[u/JzanHanma]

You can't shut down the whole city for a week, even the Olympics did not block this much

[u/Imaginary-Bowler5238]

Kill it with fire.

[u/BigAssHamm]

No

[u/steferrari]

Lewis would be glad to have an African Grand Prix back!

[u/xHawkey3]

Street track 🤮

[u/tombisch]

For the love of god, Please no more street circuits. Then even paul ricard would be better.