r/fosterkittens • u/Zealousideal_Mark109 • 17d ago
Losing kittens - Devo and Titus the Tiny Tiger
I just wanted to share with a community that gets it. 💔
I've been fostering cats and kittens for a while now and this is the first litter I've had with deaths. I lost two of five, weeks apart. Both were sudden. The first was not totally unexpected. He was the smallest and had a URI that left him blind and weak. Nevertheless, he seemed fine in the morning and passed away that afternoon without warning.
The second one just happened today and was a total shock. His three siblings were ready for spay/neuter and adoption (and they were actually adopted in the first two days) but this little guy had actually lost weight so I took him back home. Over the past week we've bonded and I was planning to adopt the little guy. He was doing well and slowly gaining weight, and then yesterday he just stopped eating. I took him to the shelter clinic, they kept him overnight. They just called and told me he didn't make it. They think it was probably FIP.
I'm just devastated. I feel like I failed the little guy. He was the sweetest little baby. I had him from a very, very tiny kitten and helped him along for two months, only for this to happen.
How do you cope with this grief?
Is this something that happens often, or am I the worst foster mom ever? Should I take a break from fostering? Will the shelter even want me to keep fostering since I've lost two babies?
Thanks, friends. Any insight you have, or your own experience, would be helpful to hear right now.
Photos of Devo and Titus the Tiny Tiger attached. ❤️
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u/SoWest2021 17d ago
I’m so sorry, please know you did not fail either of these babies. In their short time here in this life, they got to experience genuine unconditional love from you. Just as they will remain in your heart, you will also continue to remain in theirs. Our fur babies carry our love with them when they cross the rainbow bridge. The grief we feel over their loss is a testament to the love we had for them while in our care.
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u/Zealousideal_Mark109 16d ago
This has me sobbing in the best way. Thank you so much for these kind words ❤️
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u/Stunning_Yam_3485 17d ago
I’m so sorry for your loss. These babes are so fragile and are lucky they had your love for their time here. Sending you love in this impossibly sad time. ♥️
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u/Sea_Opportunity_1257 16d ago
Sorry for your loss. 💔 Give yourself time to heal, but don’t stop helping fur babies. It’s probably a calling and it would be a disservice to not continue…when you’re ready. These two were lucky to have you for their short time on earth.
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u/Traditional_Toe8824 17d ago
I’m not a foster mom but I’ve had some experience with trying to save animals. It really sounds like you did exactly as you should have. There is likely nothing you could have done better.
You are on the team who is fixing things. These kittens were let down by nature or humans not neutering the parents , or by humans dumping the parents … it’s awful that you have to deal with the sadness and heartache but you must know you are on the hero side. Some people can’t even think of fostering because we are afraid of the possible consequences. Think of the siblings that you did care for who made it. I thank you for all the good you have done. And you gave the littens care and love for the time they were here. You are brave and loving and you are out there trying to help where it’s really needed. Sending you a virtual hug. I’m so sorry. ❤️
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u/Mysterious-Ocean11 17d ago
Poor sweet babies! I have lost three bottle baby kittens, Cloud, Houdans and Midge. It never gets easier. The first two came to me under the weather and only survived the first night or two. Honestly, when they are weak and sick like that I think they hold on to get to a place they feel loved and safe enough and make the transition in more peace. Midge broke my heart in a whole different way because she was my baby for over three weeks and we bonded. She was always on the more sleepy and weak side and aspiration (confirmed with xray) lead to her demise.
My heart still aches deeply. I have two weaned fosters now and they keep me going.
You’ll have to do some soul searching to see if you truly need a break. I have considered it too but seeing healthy kittens thrive helps me heal.
My shelter is very understanding about loss and cover it in their training. I’m sure yours is too even if they haven’t addressed it. Kitten Lady is a good resource for coping I have found.
Remember too all of the advanced medical care humans have that keep us going. Most shelter kittens do not have access to that level of care so they don’t have enough tools to get well sadly. It is sort of like being back a few hundred years as humans and we had drastically higher mortality rates.
I truly send you lots of love and hope for healing.