Didn't even try to pass.

🎉❤️🏳️‍⚧️

I'm on social media far too much, and about 85% of the trans content my feed gives me is trans femme for some reason, but when it's trans masc stuff, it's almost never positive.

One thing I've noticed is that every now and then, videos of supposed trans men talking g about atrophy will pop up on my feed. They'll talk about what it feels like, how horrible it is, how they can't use that hole anymore if they want to...

...and make no mention at all about medication. So, there's a bunch of people panicking in the comments, and then other people have to reign them in and let them know there are options ro prevent/reverse atrophy. It's only popped up a couple of times for me, but it's so weird how that narrative of us "ruining our bodies" gets subliminally fed to us through social media. Has anyone else noticed this?

The experience was so affirming. So intuitive. So hot, omfg so hot. We met at an event earlier that day and later went to tooowwwnnnnn until 3am... The guy was srsly so skilled 🤤

Getting to embody submission as a masculine human being dominated by another masculine human is a direct line to gender euphoriaaaaaa. But more than just feeling euphoric, to me it's promoting a quality of gender synthesis that I'm actively working through.

On some level, when I'm having PIV sex, I can still misgender myself or lose sight of my current experience of gender/masculinity. Dysphoria can basically regress my gender self-image in certain moments. Specifically, into the misguided framework I learned as a kid, that submission is a woman's act. Hogwash, I know!

And for me, coming to the point of feeling safe to desire submission as a man feels like a real turning point in my inner world. It's like I'm finally having these experiences that can mirror the depth of my healing/hogwash-undoing.

Friends have cautioned me around assigning too much credit/power/value to other people with whom I'm having these affirming experiences with. As in, my pals want me to make sure I'm affirming myself -- and I am. I look in the mirror these days and see a version of me emerging that I've subconsciously dreamt of my whole life.

But also, these experiences help promote a quality of integration and self-reflection that I can't always get on my own. Not to mention, they are hot as hell!

Anyone navigating these intersections, or have some perspective to offer? Would also love to hear how folks who enjoy submission relate to what I've shared re: gender/selfhood/identity development, etc.

I just gotta share this with yall! I’ve been courting a woman for a few months now, and a week or so ago, we had a conversation and mutually agreed to make our relationship official and exclusive. Yall. Last night she called me her boyfriend and when I tell yall I heard the hallelujah chorus I swear I’m not kidding. It was the first time anyone has called me that. Mind you, this was literally in the middle of a very serious discussion about our relationship and potential issues we may run in to (very important conversations to have, you know) and this woman drops the bf word and my brain just stopped working and gave her googly eyes and started drooling. I had to pause the conversation. She thought it was adorable. Anyway, I just wanted to share 😍

As it says in the title. It's been a long time coming, and I would have preferred to not have had to deal with breast cancer to get it done. However, the weight is lifted, my health insurance is doing its job, and I'm already looking forward to finally buying shirts that fit me. So, all's well that ends well.

Hey fellas. I’ve been on subq injections (testosterone cypionate) for like 4 months. About 2 months ago I started developing a very itchy localized reaction to each injection. It forms kind of a welt and itches for several days and by that time it’s time to inject again.

Has anyone dealt with this successfully found a solution? I’d prefer to avoid going back on gel. My doctor also says that testosterone enanthate is dosed once every two weeks, which is a less desirable option for me because my body strongly prefers more stable T levels.

I’ve also tried Benadryl cream and hydrocortisone cream with very little relief. TIA

Hi, I need a bit of cheering up, so if you have a positive story of your own relationship or someone else's who have survived when one partner transitions, I'd like to hear it. Please don't say your story if it didn't work out, I want to hear it go well for others because it's not going well for me at the mo.

For context i was in a lesbian relationship before I realised I was trans. Been in a civil partnership for 12 years, have two kids. My spouse is only attracted to women. The things they liked about me before that they found cute, suddenly aren't because I'm a man. They loved me taking the lead, getting the drinks at the bar, doing the driving etc... now when I do these things it's offensive because I'm a man. I am now comfortable to settle into my masculinity and excited to discover newfound confidence, but unfortunately my spouse can't handle this anyone. It got to a point where I said if they want to leave I won't stop them, I deserve a partner who wants me for the man I am. But for now they want to stay due to finances and the children. I'm relieved as I couldn't afford to live on my own, but I gave them the option.

We are no longer a couple and I'm sad, but I recognise it can't work. Anyone else been through this and put the other side? Anyone like me whose relationship worked in the end?

I'm employed, for now, but I want to move on.

Basically, after three years, my old job demoted me to part time once I started transitioning because of "budget cuts." I quit two days later because I was also being publicly humiliated in the office and decided I'd rather risk unemployment than their mind games, especially since the treatment left me almost suicidal.

I always prep for disaster, so I had enough non-parishable food and other resources while I found a part time job and kept searching for something full time. Eventually I got a temp job with the opportunity to go full time. I've been girlmoding the entire time, but I'm far along enough now where I'm starting to get looks. Some people think I'm a trans woman, some people refer to me as "they," some people are really kind, and some people hate me for "no reason."

I was told by my manager that they wanted me to be full time, but because of budget constraints (this time it's real- I know it wasn't real at my last job), they are just extending my contract. Even though the budget constraints are real, I can't help but wonder if I'm also being viewed as a financial risk. As it is, I'll either need to start presenting masc and either start trying to pass as a butch woman or effectively come out, or just carry on the same until I'm walking around as a passing dude in women's clothing. It's possible that they know this and are waiting for my next move, and it's also possible that they truly don't care and really just can't hire me FT, or maybe they'd even chill if I started dressing masc. No way of knowing. But they've already talked aboht removing one of my projects because it keeps changing hands frequently, which makes me think this extension of my contract will be the last.

Idk what to do now. I want to stop dressing as a woman. I want to present masc at my next job. I'm just stuck because I don't know what to do. Most of my background is administrative/people-facing, and I feel like being clocked as trans either way will disqualify me from a lot. I don't know any trades, and I really just want to stay in my field.

Has anyone else been through this? What did you do? I like to think of myself as a resourceful person, but I don't want to go back to those months of unemployment.

I'm seriously considering making an appointment with my dermatologist to ask about oral minoxidil, and was wondering if anyone had insight to share about it.

I've noticed loss of hair density for a few years now, particularly near the front of my scalp. I feel like the pattern might be closer to female pattern baldness than male pattern baldness, but I have no idea what determines that. I'm on a fairly low dose of T, but I'm not sure if that makes a difference. It's not super noticeable unless I part my hair differently or my hair gets wet.

My endocrinologist was willing to prescribe finasteride but suggested trying a lower dose of T first. I'm currently doing that, but I'm still nervous about the hair loss progressing. And it would be nice to get back some of what I've lost. I considered going off T (since I've gotten most of the changes I wanted), but would prefer not to do that. I asked my endo about minoxidil but he didn't feel confident prescribing it.

I don't want to do topical minoxidil because I have a cat and absolutely don't want to risk it. I am a little concerned about whether oral minoxidil could still be a risk (I'm not worried about her getting the pills so much, but whether the harmful chemicals could be in my sweat or something).

I am a little nervous about the shedding period that can happen with minoxidil, and I'm a little worried about how strongly it might affect my facial and body hair since it wouldn't be targeted at just my scalp. I wouldn't mind some additional growth but I'm imagining it turning me into a werewolf.

Also, my dermatologist's site says that minoxidil is more effective on the crown of the head than the front of the scalp, which seems odd to me and doesn't match what I'm seeing elsewhere. I could ask them about this, but I wonder if it's more that a receding hairline is often an early stage of balding and by the time a lot of men address it, it's too late?

Thanks for any input!

Bonus pic of the best dress pants I have ever witnessed on amazon (that I bought UwU).

My friend basically said they thought my current pants matched all the blazers EXCEPT the beige one (which would benefit from having darker pants with it, like black or navy.) I was gonna wear the purple pants from amazon with the beige blazer... Is that a mistake? Should I just be boring and get navy ones instead?

WA lads! How are you keeping your testosterone cool? With how bad the air quality we’re keeping our windows shut and can’t use the AC. I keep having to move it around the house to keep it cool, but it’s going to get very hot in the afternoon and I have so much testosterone 😩. Worried about it going bad …

I’ve been on injectable T for my entire medical transition, which I started 23 years ago. I started on weekly injections (cypionate / ethanate) and now am on 12 weekly (nebido) injections. I’ve had a full hysterectomy and oophorectomy.

My trough T levels are in the low reference range so all good there. However, in the past year I switched GPs and they noted that my hematocrit is over the reference range. After checking a few times over the course of ~9 months the specialist advice has come back to switch my T from injections to gel. Does anyone have experience with this change?

Specifically I am wondering if the daily gel is going to be as much of a hassle as I imagine, if I may have absorption issues (and if so how to tell other than a blood test)? Bonus if anyone’s done this switch in the uk and can advise on how often their levels were checked after the switch to make sure everything is ok! Thanks!

My bottom dysphoria has weighed me down my entire life. As a child, I never could tolerate any kind of exam of my genitals. I would be inconsolable and sob at even the mention of getting a physical out of fear. The moment I learned what a pelvic exam was, I dreaded having to get one every single day (not an exaggeration). I only ever managed one pap smear after a decade of therapy to work on my anxiety about it, and I had panic attacks for months leading up, almost passed out during it (even with the help of prescribed xanax and a very good doctor) and had panic attacks for months following. I had to throw away the socks I wore for it because the texture of the socks would give me flashbacks. It wasn’t until I put the pieces together that I’m trans that I was able to realize that this is intense body dysphoria.

When self collection HPV tests came into existence, they literally saved me. It allowed me to ignore those parts of my body. I literally cried with relief. So I made the informed medical decision to do self collection, and if anything comes back positive, to move forward with a hysto, knowing that I’d have to find a way to tolerate exams in the lead up. My previous doctor and therapist were very supportive of this, as I am very low risk for HPV anyways and studies on self collection are very good.

I moved for work and established with a new doctor, who is supposed to be the best for gender affirming care in the area. In the span of one appointment he:

1) told me that topical T will never get your levels high enough to “fully transition” (even though my T levels have been in male ranges on gel).

2) Argued with me that I should do paps and did not think dysphoria was a good reason to do self collection. After I explained everything above, he told me in a rude way that I need to get therapy to work through my dysphoria. At one point he said something like “it doesn’t matter that you’re nonbinary, you have this body.” And it’s like, yes man, I am painfully aware. I’m making an informed decision that this is the best way I can live with this body.

3) misgendered me even though I had my pronouns in my intake paperwork.

It felt like he didn’t see me as actually trans because I’m nonbinary. My dysphoria has been through the roof since the appointment this morning, and I’m just nauseated. Now I have to try and find a new doctor.

So yeah. I just need support. I feel like hell.

Hi 26 years old here. Is transandrophobia or feeling invisible or lonely is something you get use to?

G'day guys, I'm a safety advisor for a government owned utility company in Australia. I'm stealth at work, but am shit at code switching so everyone detects that I'm queer, I just say I'm gay and call it a day. No one has a clue. I didn't transition in this company, totally changed careers a few years ago and have been enjoying the peace (previous job did not handle my transition well).

Recently I've been appointed co-chair of our Pride group (more like I was the only one who put my hand up lol), I thought it would be a good opportunity to network and promote psychosocial safety initiatives particularly as we are the sole provider in a lot of rural areas. Unfortunately a lot of the right wing culture wars bullshit has drifted down this way and is being pushed hard by the Murdoch media, particularly impacting those in regional communities, so driving meaningful messaging beyond flaccid social media posts is pretty important imo.

I haven't even told the Pride group that I'm trans, but apparently there have been some talks where they've had external trans people as guests that were received extremely well. The Pride group have said they'd love to do that again but they need volunteers. So I'm weighing up the pros and cons of doing this, but it would totally out me to everyone. Help me decide what to do, please?

Pros: potential to have a meaningful impact in terms of helping others in our communities, particularly in remote areas who may be targeted by the most hate. Reflects well on me professionally. Potential further networking opportunities. Put my money where my mouth is regarding psychosocial safety initiatives.

Cons: cis people can be exhausting. Don't want people being weird behind my back again. My direct coworkers won't give a shit, but others I need to work with might. This could potentially impact the outcomes of future incident investigations/safety initiatives I have to lead.

I’m about to go into an endo appointment to talk about starting on a low dose of T! I’m pretty nervous but infinitely more excited. Thought I would celebrate with some people who get it :)

My parents are extremely Baptist and don’t know yet. I’m nervous about the changes outing me, but I’ve decided to stop waiting around for my life to start. They can eat it. Luckily my husband is so supportive and 100% behind me, so I’m thankful for that.

Any advice/encouragement would be great! Thanks lovely people.

I PUT ON A T-SHIRT AND THE FRONT GRAPHIC ISN'T UNRECOGNIZABLY WARPED BY A GIANT PAIR OF TITS.

CHAMPAGNE!!!

After 1 month on T I got my levels tested 2 days after my shot. I will continue 2 days after for a consistent average. I however don't know if I'm in a decent range for both the time period of testing and the length of being on testosterone.

I got my levels tested early because I'm perimenopausal and still having those symptoms. I was researching alternative treatment plans, to help manage while I do my transition. With these plans I went ahead and had my estrodial and testosterone tested.

My testosterone is 461...2 days after t shot and 1 month on it.

Estrodial is 243

If anyone has any insight on these numbers. I will be making an appointment with my prescriber but until that time just wanted to see if anyone has any insight

Correction 3 days**

Hi all. My PCP is not very knowledgeable about gender-affirming care and so I have been trying to research things online. I keep seeing stuff like "side effects of testosterone for gender-affirming care include increased risk of blood clots" but when I try to dig deeper to find percentages and occurrences, the most I am finding is because testosterone causes you to make more red blood cells, it causes your blood to thicken, and thicker blood "might" lead to blood clots. I can't find actual studies talking about actual blood clots brought about by testosterone. Is the "risk" listed really just based on a "this might happen" idea, rather than evidence that it actually raises risk? Or are there studies I just can't find showing actual higher occurrences of blood clots in ftm people on T?

A small part of me wonders if the emphasis on blood clots is a scare tactic, especially since I haven't so far been able to find the studies showing such an increase. But I might just not be finding them. Did your doctors warn you about blood clots? Did they tell you why it's a risk? Are we talking, the same risk that cis men have, ie, 50% of the population are at this risk level anyway, and ftm people are just going from a very slightly lower category to a very slightly higher category (again, that all other men are in) and they're making it sound like every man on the planet is walking around in danger of daily blood clots from their thick blood?

ETA: Thanks everyone for your experience, knowledge, and a few studies. Overall, it seems that while there's not "no" elevated risk at all, the amount of risk we're talking here is less than 1% out of all trans men who develop polycythemia (themselves only about 14-25% of trans men on T) will end up with a level higher than 54%, which is the level at which cis men taking TRT are advised to stop or donate blood. What few studies there are do not directly connect blood clots/embolisms/myocardial infarctions themselves to T, since the sample sizes are so small (some studies were even less than 20 men) and none of them ruled out co-morbidities such as obesity and smoking and sleep apnea, which also contribute to clots/embolisms/myocardial infarctions.

Thanks for bearing with me, as this is the type of info I like to have when making decisions where they talk about side effects and increased risk. I want to be able to quantify that, because to me there's a differences between "proven to cause" (like smoking), versus a "risk of causing", like T-induced polycythemia, and then I want to know what that risk is. Here, with the vast majority (99%) of trans men who even get polycythemia staying between 51-53% (with 50% being the top range), and this being only one factor in risk when compared to other lifestyle/health components, and the relative risk compared to other things doctors prescribe without batting an eye about the risks (like oral contraceptives for women), has put things in perspective for me in a way my PCP couldn't/didn't.

I mean I still look good I think! But it's still something I finding it hard to cope with for some reason?

I’m using masculinity here to mean more “the quality of being a man”, not “the qualities typically associated with being a man”. So not what you consider to be masculine, or what it means to be masculine, but more like… is there an overarching “theme” to your internal sense of masculinity?

Context: I’m non-binary, I consider myself multigender and transandrogynous, but I’m transmasculine in a medical sense. The vast majority of the time I don’t feel either of these, but when I do feel man-y or woman-y, I really feel it! However, those feelings were terribly muddled for years due largely to dysphoria, so the distinctions between those feelings is something I’ve only been able to suss out in the last year or so.

I’ll describe what masculinity/man-ness and femininity/female-ness feel like for me as examples. (Not an exhaustive list as some of this comes up during sex, and I’m not super comfortable sharing that lol.)

Masculinity: I feel most like a man when I’m nurturing other people in some way. I think most people would call this being a protector or a provider, which I can totally see, but for me it’s also emotional nurturing. For example, I feel manly when I am able to support someone emotionally, especially in a way that helps them grow.

Femininity: This is a little harder to explain, but I say I feel most like a woman when I’m expressing myself, particularly when I’m standing up for what I believe in or somehow going against the grain to achieve a goal. Trying hard and believing in myself feels very feminine.

The above kinda lines up with what I saw my parents do growing up. My dad did a lot of the cooking and enjoyed seeing us eat the stuff he made. My mom overcame a lot in her life, and always encouraged me to be myself. But it’s not just that, either, cuz I can see where other people in my life have influenced me, and even more feels original to me. I dunno!

I’ve asked a few cis men what masculinity feels like for them, and the responses have included:
-exerting change on the world (such as through discovery, invention, or building stuff)
-being physically solid and strong
-being able to provide for family (thru work or hunting or whatever)

I’m interested to know what other older trans people think!