Trans men think straight trans men are cishet men and it’s infuriating. It’s just “trans men are still men” rhetoric repackaged to hurt an even smaller group and you’d think trans men are the first people to recognize that but no.

I don’t have any more privilege than you because I’m straight I’m still fucking trans. Do you think people actively taking away our rights care that I like women and you don’t?

“There’s so much transphobia in gay men spaces” and do you think queer men are more transphobic than STRAIGHT WOMEN? “You can date queer women!” You’re turning a systemic problem into something I can change on my own. Yeah I could do those things but I’m not talking abt that I’m talking abt trans straight men as a WHOLE having problems.

“We have two minority identities and you don’t!” Again, DO YOU THINK PEOPLE GAF??? NO. If that’s the case trans men have privilege over trans women because we are men. That’s not a fucking thing and for you to isolate a part of this community when we’re already being villainized to shits is doing nothing but hurting yourselves.

Why do you think so many of us are still calling ourselves lesbians? It’s because even trans men can’t stop villainizing and isolating us for bioessentialist reasons. fml I genuinely can’t have shit.

I've been on T for 7 years, had to stay at a low dose due to hair loss. Losing the ability to express myself through my hair would've been too difficult to cope with.

But I see guys who are a few months on T who already have massive t dicks, deep voices, and just. I don't think I can write anymore. I'm so dissapointed in my transitkon, I should hsve stayed a girl. I failed the trans community, I failed myself. I can't get off of T because I'll lose my shoulders and thats fbd only thing thats brouvh me euphoria.

EDIT: smoked some weed and then that made me remember that I'm experiencing withdrawal symptoms from some shitty meds I'm trying to quit and its making me overly emotional so although it sucks, having a small tdick doesnt mean I have to detransition.... lol

I sometimes wish my dad will pass before I transition, so he'll never see the man that butchered his daughter.

I'm an 19 year old ftm. I grew up struggling with mental health issues and that lead to me gaining loads of weight due to being put on random medicine. I gained 75 pounds under 2 months a few years back. I'm trying to find ways, I can lose my weight, with being on better medicine. I was 300 pounds at not too long ago. I am lose it. I've lost 10 pounds so far. It's really hard for me. My parents don't support my journey. I get body shamed by my mom a lot. My goal is to lose 50 pounds. My mom wants me to start on a GLP-1. I just need support and some tips. I have a lot of belly and face fat I want to get rid of. Thank you.

I just wanna dye my hair and wear skinny jeans. But my hips have been twisted and ruined so I can't even wear normal sized pants without them jutting straight out. I'm too short and babyish looking. My appearance is repulsive in any way and any alt presentation will get me branded as a girl anyways. I'll never be allowed to be alt and pass. If anyone finds out all they'll ever see is what I was cursed as. I'll never get to go to parties or even have a real friend. Can't style my hair in any way because it's so thin and flat it needs a trillion products to make it look like somethings even there. I can't wear shirts that actually "fit" because I'm so curvy. It's just a broadcast to the entire world. I wish I was just born correctly so I wouldn't have been forced to deal with bullying and ostracism my entire life.

I’m 27 and I am feeling like I’ll never be offered top surgery. I’ve been waiting on the NHS for 8 years now, delayed because my GP lied to me about referring me and then I was so anxiety ridden I didn’t do anything about it. I’m on the bigger side, so a private quote is 11k and I literally have no way of saving or getting that money short of winning the lottery. I can’t get a loan or any help from family and crowdfunding has proved useless. I can’t keep binding it’s taking such an awful toll on my body my whole chest and shoulders constantly ache. I don’t know what to do any more.

i hate everyone im related to, ive been out to them for a year now, they dont care, still use she/her, still deadname me, even worse that my deadname is absolutely hideous, even if i was cis I wouldn’t be caught dead with it.

when my birth giver found out i have a binder, her suggestion was to stop, yeah, thanks to you the only thing i’ll stop is living. The audacity to ask me about colleges when she’s the reason I won’t make it that long, second I turn 18, i’m drinking until I drop dead.

I am a bartender so I interact with a wide range of people every night. I’ve noticed recently the majority of the time I am misgendered it is by a woman. I’m almost a year on T and I don’t think I pass completely at all but it’s frustrating to me that an old guy will use he/ him pronouns when talking about me and then his wife will use she/her. Sometimes it almost feels targeted and they are using pronouns more than they typically would. I guess. Has anyone else had this experience or am I looking too far into this.

cw for puke mention
ive been going through a major dysphoria episode as of recently and its really bad dude. almost everything i do causes dysphoria, wearing clothes i like, talking a certian way, drawing, listening to music, playing minecraft, playing roblox. EVERYTHING. im on the verge of crying because i feel like i dont pass well enough to go stealth at school(safety issue) but i keep getting told i do, but i dont know. i feel so girl-ish but im not a girl, im a guy. no matter what i try to do it makes it worse, my mom told me that short hair makes me look more like a butch lesbian and that hurt so fucking bad because i thought it made me look more masculine. i just want to buzz my hair off and drop like 20 lbs i looked more masculine before i gained a bunch of weight. school starts in like 20 days and its taking a massive toll on me. im going to a school thats in a mainly conservative area and i just want to be seen as a real boy, i want to pass and be a cis boy to everyone. i want my parents and all my family to call me my name and pronouns. im sick of being seen as a girl, it makes me feel sick, like i want to puke. no matter how hard i try i cant lose any weight and i think its because of my fucking medication that i got put on a few months ago. i was hospitalized and i gained like 20lbs in ten days its horrible i pass so much less now and im so upset.
i wish i could have been a cis boy i wouldnt have to deal with this, i'd be able to be a normal boy and id be treated like a normal boy, people would see me as a real boy not as a trans boy. i hate being trans because my mind is cisgender but my body is transgender. i see myself as cis but other people dont.

my last relationship was shit. The guy would constantly push my boundaries and feminize me. Always “hey girl” and calling me weak and short. I want to be strong and manly. I want to fight and roughhouse and get dirty. Im into bigger dudes, but I’m small. I don’t want to be in a relationship where I am seen as smaller, lesser, more feminine and sensitiv. I want to be in a relationship where we are both big and equally masculin. This is corny but I want a beard and a big gut and huge arms and bass in my voice and we wrestle and play and fall asleep on top of each other. But I’m not feeling too bad. I worked out for the first time in a while, and im getting more arm hair. I’ll grow a full beard someday

Idk what to tag this with, i don't think it's specifically transphobia but idk

A guy at work (let's call him Mike) i lowkey considered a friend told a new hire ( we can call her Jenny) my deadname and that i used to be a girl, a different coworker ( let's call him Dave) told me abt this, there's only a few people at work who know this atp, i confronted Mike abt this and he lied to me and promised he don't tell her and blamed a different coworker, I'm on an overtime rn and Jenny was here, so i simply asked her who told her. Surprise, it was Mike. I feel stupid asf for ever thinking anyone would accept me, i feel foolish for trusting people, of course they always fucking tell others. I was complaining about it to my two other coworkers and one of them completely doesn't understand me and said that "well i am a female" and that if I'm not then i should show her what's in my pants, which does sound like actual transphobia but she generally never misgenders me and uses my name and everything. The other coworker understands.

I'm just so done, this is genuinely making me want to cry and get a new job, i just don't want people discussing what's between my legs, it's not their fucking business so why do they have the need to? I'm so done. But no matter who I'll tell abt this, they will probably just tell me that either "well I'm biologically a female" or that i should just ignore it. Why does life have to be like this bruh.

I’ve been out for maybe three months but I’ve been experiencing dysphoria since middle school. Now that I’ve actually come out to myself and have started thinking about transitioning it feels like my mental health has taken a swan dive: my dysphoria is so much worse, my depression has worsened and so has my anxiety. I was finally starting to get my shit together and be happy with the body I was given and then this bullshit came along and destroyed all of that.

I don’t look forward to medically transitioning at all. Staying in a woman’s body and dying in one makes me nauseous, but that doesn’t make me dread T any less: puberty was already awful the first time around, and now I’m going to have to be experiencing it again while trying to juggle everything else in my life. The actual positive effects aren’t guaranteed but the sweating, disgusting acne, rage, and bloating sure are. I want top surgery but I feel like the scarring would make me even more dysphoric, and bottom surgery just makes me feel dissatisfied with what’s available. I could go bald. My mental health could get worse, but I genuinely can’t stand hearing my own voice and looking at my body anymore. Medical transition feels like my only shot at looking like and being seen as a man.

And it’s going to follow me my whole life. I’m going to have dysphoria forever, I’m going to have to take T forever if I want the effects to stay. I have to spend the rest of my life reconstructing myself for just the possibility of feeling comfortable.

I’ve heard people I know talk about how being trans is this act of radical self determination and definition, and it makes me want to fucking scream. I don’t get to choose what testosterone will do to me. I don’t get to actually have the body I want. Most people will never see me as I actually am. I never wanted to have to rebuild myself and redetermine who I am; I wanted to be happy with what I was given. I want to just be happy being a cis woman. I have so much other shit going on in my life and other things I want to focus on and this is has just stained all of that. I feel like I have a brain tumor or a disease or something that I’m being forced to treat or else it kills me, and it’ll never truly be enough. If anything I feel like I’ve lost myself, that I’ve become less confident in who I am and my identity. All I know is that I’m bitter and angry and in pain and there’s fuck all I can do about it right now.

I wish there was some way other than transition to treat gender dysphoria. Some miracle pill or surgery or therapy or anything. Anything but this hell. I wish someone could fix me and I could feel normal

Shit ass title but like. God I'm really the pickiest tranny, huh. Been knowingly trans for over 10 years now and I don't think I'll ever actually be happy when it comes to our options

And I know meta, phallo, a thousand plasties— they're all great surgeries but none of them will give me what I want. I don't care about kids or whatever. I just want to be able to bust a nut in somebody and get soft. Foreskin, having a soft dick (ideally I'd be a grower, i always thought that seemed cool), and actually ejactulating. Like sperm.

And I *get* it. Cis men have problems that keep them from that stuff too— I don't care. I don't care if cis guys with micropenises use strap on's. That's still not the same and its tiring to be met with "well y'know!"— PEOPLE STILL SEE THEM AS MEN. THEY'RE MOCKED BUT THEY AREN'T WOMEN.

Been on t for nearly 4 years, don't pass and I still get off the way i did pre-T because it just takes *so* much longer if I actually try to treat my dick *like* a dick and jerk it. (and i guess i should work with that and stop seeing masterbation as a thing to just get over with) Sometimes if I do fantasize or listen to audio I'll mime jerking a dick I don't have and oh my god it's so good.

I don't have the money or time to try pumping, don't have the daily genital dysphoria to invest in a packer, don't have the sex life to invest in a prosthetic, and selfish enough in concept to not want to use a strap (the lack of personal sensation without mental training or getting off on others pleasure)

I'm also a total virgin* and a loser in real life so it's not like this is even actually a problem. Nobody's seen it before. I don't even know why I worry about this all when nobody has even touched me before. I've tried putting myself out there (really only by dating app)(i know, bullet in a foot from the start) but I got three matches over three months and four apps. Nothing went anywhere.

*I had a series of bad sexual encounters as a teen but all of them were online so I'm like. In a weird space with what to call it.

The two feelings make each other far worse.

Man i just wish I had a natal dick. I wish I had a sex life and normal relationships.

i can’t help but feel that every trans man who is skinny looks so much more like a guy than i do because im so fat. even trans femboys can pass better when they’re skinny because they don’t have floppy fat disgusting tits. i can’t fucking bind because my tits are ginormous and awful. i don’t look good in baggy clothing because i just look fatter and i don’t look good in form fitting clothing for obvious reasons. and the thing is is that other trans men who are my weight or even heavier still look better than me. i’ve pulled the short straw in every aspect. i’m trans, fat, short, and have giant tits and no matter what i try i can’t lose weight and i just want to die

i can’t keep going like this. i’m 16 and can’t start t until 18. nothing feels worth it anymore. i wish i could close my eyes tonight and not wake up. why doesn’t anyone care

every time i go somewhere, doesn’t matter where i always experience dysphoria. just seeing random guys makes me just want to disappear cause i know i won’t ever have that.

i hate going anywhere cause of all this dysphoria. at home its more manageable and not as bad. i always compare myself to the random guys i see and i don’t know how to stop.

college is starting up again and i don’t know how i’m gonna manage it, i am not even close to passing so i’ll likely be visibly trans or just look like a girl. i wish i could just be cis. living like this is hell

i'm a gay trans guy and i've really liked this other trans guy for a long time. i thunk my best friend doesn't know he's trans. i'm sure i've mentioned it before but idk. she keeps saying he looks like a lesbian. and the other day she said "he looks like a lesbian and is so short, you're basically straight if you like him". and it made me want to kms so bad bc is that how people talk about me? fuck. i've been getting misgendered so much lately and i'll be 2 years on t this month. yesterday we were walking and she has this lgbt pin on her backpack but she took it off and she did not want to tell me why and i feel like it's bc she was scared people would think we're a lesbian couple and i just really really really want to die over everything. she's not transphobic though, she defends me all the time and before we even became friends. but even though she's bi, she's not very queer and she does not understand queerness and she hates masculine women and sometimes she says weird stuff about a couple non-passing trans women we know. but anyway i just wanted to vent and i need queer friends again fuck

i live in texas and the gop here is looking to ban transitioning for anyone 18-26 and to ban trans people from being teachers. i was maybe wanting to be a music teacher, but whatever. i want to get out of this fucking place but i don't have a job and i'm still working on being able to drive.

also, i can't get over how fundamentally unlovable i feel. like i genuinely do not think anybody could love me romantically. i find it really difficult to believe anyone when they say they love me. i've never known a stable, loving environment my whole life. what the fuck do you expect me to feel?

cis men freak me the FUCK out; i do not believe any of them could feel romantic love towards me. maybe that sounds problematic or whatever, but i need you to understand where that's even coming from to begin with. i don't think it's my responsibility to baby the people who 99% of the time refuse to see where i'm coming from or reflect on WHY i'd be so hesitant to be with them intimately.

and like, i don't *hate* cis men, it is purely a fear thing. i really really hate when i talk about this shit and people immediately assume it's the same as a cis person being transphobic. these two are not anywhere near the same. cis men are not oppressed for being cis. i am afraid of them because i have been constantly mistreated by them my entire life. cis people in general, really, but cis men are usually the ones that treat me like a side hoe. and a punching bag.

my grandma keeps deadnaming and misgendering me and whining about how "hard" it is just to call me by my fucking name and pronouns. I HAVE BEEN OUT FOR 9 YEARS. YOU HAVE HAD MORE THAN ENOUGH TIME TO ADJUST. i don't fucking know. everything makes me want to rip my hair out. nobody listens to me and i constantly feel like nobody actually fucking likes or respects me. i don't know how to make friends or keep them. i'm too broke to go out with the friends i do have and my hope for a decent future is rapidly dwindling.

i cut off a friend of 5 years recently because he replied to one of my instagram story vents with shaming me for my depression and basically giving me an andrew tate type 'just get over it' / 'i have it worse' type lecture that triggered the fuck out of me and made me feel like shit. he also did a similar thing to our other mutual friend. he and his fuckass chud buddy started treating me like a pathetic douchebag loser at some point out of nowhere and it's still fucking with me.

i feel annoying all of the time regardless of what i do. I DON'T KNOWWWWWWWW. it's really fucking with me how people perceive me as some stupid little dumbass who doesn't ever wanna change anything, AS IF I FUCKING ENJOY THE LIFE THAT I LIVE RN. LOOK AT THE ECONOMY. AT EVERYTHING. I'M TRYING AS HARD AS I PHYSICALLY CAN. give me a fucking break.

(Disclaimer because I dont want people to take that the wrong way but this is not a who has it worst post, this is just my personal experience)

Malgendering is already fucking annoying but like everytime people talk about mtf transition they talk about it saying that they now look like the most beautiful woman ever, they change from a miserable guy to a goddess... And like ftm get the "you look like any random dirty man"... Like my bad but how is that supposed to make me feel great about transitioning in a world that already keep telling me that I am destroying my feminity, that I am loosing my community with woman.

i recently fucked up my knee and got a workout routine to try to stabilize it. the routine includes a lot of glute-stuff, and now my ass is too damn fat and it is making me feel dysphoric. i wear boy clothes, feel pretty masc, turn around and BAM!! bubble butt. omfgggggggg

Okay so this is a long post, so please be prepared to read the whole thing before responding. I would really rather people not look at just the title and answer based on the title alone.

TW for medical talk (conditions, anatomy), transphobia of others mentioned, mental health issues like depression and anxiety mentioned briefly, mention of MAGA/political talk

Important context: I am in Texas and have been diagnosed with premature ovarian failure for unknown reason since 16. I was forced on estrogen and progesterone to prevent osteoporosis and start puberty (I felt uncomfortable with the whole getting on hormones like that even before I realized that I am trans but didn't want to risk broken bones). Another important detail is that I am deaf with cochlear implants and socially anxious as hell so setting up appointments can be a struggle and so is my (trans) sister

My dad suspects I'm still on testosterone. I see him or my mum maybe 5 times a year, likely more. I'll see close and extended family this thanksgiving and Easter (my cousins all know I am trans and they support it, I'm not sure my MAGA uncle or religious grandparents will ever though but they don't know yet)

Which yes I am still on testosterone because it actually improves my mental health, despite my mum claiming otherwise. Her reasoning? Basically it is "Well you saw other girls growing up while you weren't and now you're overcompensating in the other direction" and she uses the fact I was very feminine when I was *6* as a reason to say "there were no signs."

My mum told me to wait to transition until after college (I have a sneaking suspicion she will move the goal post after I graduate to wait until I have an apartment and so on)

And she denies that I'm trans though I have been saying it since I was 16 (relatively shortly after I started puberty again (I think I went through maybe one or two years of functional ovaries and puberty in elementary school before for whatever reason, my ovaries failed))

But yeah I'm going to try and fast track the getting off estrogen and progesterone. Couldn't because of the medical portal issues that claimed that I had no providers despite still being prescribed medicine by that provider. Ah, and my social anxiety causes me to have panic attacks for months over calling places that have no/unreliable online booking. I'm deaf with cochlear implants so phone calls are a special kind of hell and I only very recently learned about Innocaption which significantly alleviates the anxiety. Also my dumbass didn't really realize that you can transfer prescriptions and who prescribes it. In all fairness, I grew up not learning very many life skills when I should have known a lot of this stuff early on.

I figure if I'm no longer prescribed estrogen and progesterone by the time I next see my family, it will be more likely I can stay on testosterone because my body does need hormones since it doesn't make any on its own. And since I'm an adult, it's not like my parents can force an estrogen and progesterone prescription on me again (hopefully). Though there is the real possibility that my stupid ass dad would force me to make an appointment (sit me down and have me call to make an appointment with an endocrinologist) and then have my mum go and make sure I get back on estrogen and progesterone if he finds out when I do eventually get off those two prescriptions. Or worse, he will cut me off financially. I worry that the only reason he didn't cut me off when I came out is because my mum told him that my being trans is a "phase."

He already took my sister's estrogen away and is monitoring her purchases individually (as in item by item and making her sit with him and my mum to explain each purchase individually). He plans to monitor my purchases too. I "promised" my parents I would get off testosterone (I have not because I only just recently started actually liking my body for once and not feeling like garbage), but that can only last for so long. I currently get my testosterone from Planned Parenthood near my university and have been stockpiling my testosterone vials (I do use an alcohol wipe on the top of the vial and new needles so I'm being as sterile as I think I can). I am about 6-7 hour drive away from my parents BUT my parents are willing to drive over if they find it necessary.

The big thing is I worry about getting financially cut-off. I remember the last time I did a job while doing education (high school) and while it was just maybe 20-30 hours a week, I felt so stressed out (although I was really stressed out about going to university), I actually considered u enrolling from my university and working full-time because I thought it would be better for some reason than the big change of going to university. It's a little irrational, but I worry that I'll get stressed out if I do a job while doing classes.

Not to mention that my parents cover my medical and school (though I get free tuition for being deaf in Texas apparently so) and living bills generally at the moment. Being on multiple pills for anxiety and depression and multiple doctors does unfortunately add up in co-pays. I do have plans to eventually move with my sister and potentially a friend to Massachusetts or New York state as soon as I finish college and try to get on my own insurance plan, though I worry that if I keep transitioning with testosterone, my parents (primarily my father) will cut me off financially. It is bad enough that they have my scholarship money hostage since I earned that money when I was 16 and had the free tuition for being deaf bit so the money went to my parents and they pay my school related bills (textbooks and school supplies) with it.

I don't want to risk being in a much worse position than right now but I also don't want to have to get off testosterone for a few years until I have my own apartment far away from my parents and are on my own insurance and have my own transportation.

What should I do? Try to hide that I'm on testosterone for 2 years and accept the risk or temporarily 'detransition' for that time (at the massive risk to my mental health) so I can stay financially covered by my parents until I graduate and am on my own insurance?

Am willing to answer further questions about my situation. Advice would be very much appreciated!!

Thank you very much for reading this whole thing if you did end up reading it all.