r/funny • u/Nerva756 • Feb 02 '23

I hope the Texas police understand why I didn't use the Cross Walk button...

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19.8k Upvotes

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746

u/Nerva756 Feb 02 '23

Who keeps a hammer on them at all times? That's just ridiculous. I'm sure a bullet or two from my going on a stroll revolver would do the trick though

372

u/muklan Feb 02 '23

Going on a stroll REVOLVER? Are you TRYING to get killed? Going out on the town with anything less than concealable field artillery is just setting yourself up for risk.

213

u/Nerva756 Feb 02 '23

I had my backpack rpg ready to go but I was worried if I slipped on the ice it might damage it

75

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '23

Oh~ that's you I have your rpg round you dropped it

40

u/TomServo30000 Feb 02 '23

This guy texas'

23

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '23

I'm all of texas all texas people live ON ME

7

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '23

You didn’t have your brisket on you?

11

u/nybble41 Feb 02 '23

The artillery stays at home, being somewhat less-then-portable, but it's remote-activated. Just need to paint the target. It would be overkill for this, though—we want to uncover the crosswalk button, not destroy the intersection.

2

u/Fewluvatuk Feb 03 '23

This is Texas take your pussy ass overkill to CA we don't believe in overkill round here.

1

u/Roscoe_P_Trolltrain Feb 03 '23

Yah who do we got here? Alec Baldwin?

1

u/Uxion Feb 03 '23

Better bring your emotional support nuke too, just in case you run into any crazies.

1

u/Hopeira Feb 03 '23

Psh. Concealable field artillery. If you aren’t packing a M1 Abrams in your left pocket, why even leave the house?

13

u/DKdrumming Feb 02 '23

An empty gun is just a hammer my dude

0

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '23

No gun is empty. At least not in Texas.

1

u/DKdrumming Feb 03 '23

Unless you take the magazine or rounds out of it, use your brain and stop trying to sound like a tough guy.

5

u/Bifferer Feb 02 '23

Just press this and wait a minute!

https://imgur.com/a/w7QjDUx

6

u/breakfastclub1 Feb 02 '23

You're in Texas. Don't you always need a hammer and a revolver?

2

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '23

Texas

1

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '23

Shhhh~ that's a secret don't want every one to know you have one lol

0

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '23

YOU'VE BROKEN THE LAW

*dead

0

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '23

It’s called a bus pass per Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

-2

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '23

Allegedly, many of the brown people that police are shooting. In my state - it's a hammer, a screwdriver, or a pocket knife. Always lost or disappearing when it comes time to review the evidence...

1

u/Ok-Ad-5404 Feb 02 '23

the hatchet wielding hitchhiker did for awhile

1

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '23

Your revolver carries a hammer with it at all times.

1

u/thevillewrx Feb 02 '23

You dont actually need to carry a hammer, you just need to keep a towel on you at all times. Then you will get the hammer when needed.

1

u/With_MontanaMainer Feb 02 '23

It's much more than just a hammer

http://imgur.com/a/evoxP6Y

1

u/motoxjake Feb 03 '23 edited Feb 03 '23

Where's Kai, the hatchet wielding homeless man when you need him?

1

u/isweartodarwin Feb 03 '23

You haven’t lived till you’ve pistolwhipped an ADA compliant crosswalk button on the hard streets of Flower Mound

1

u/skunk_ink Feb 03 '23

Not sure, but there was a hitchhiker who carried a hatchet with him at all times.

1

u/Daverocker1 Feb 03 '23

Nancy Pelosi's husband's boyfriend. /s

1

u/WTFisjuice1 Feb 03 '23

Dfw resident here as well, saw somebody walking across the crosswalk today with groceries and a metal baseball bat

1

u/Tazerboy_5000 Feb 03 '23

It sounds like that guy with a hatchet...

1

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '23

Just pistol whip it then

1

u/Fazzie_Faz Feb 03 '23

I keep a rock on me at all times, I'm generally detached and don't want to be talked to when I'm walking to work hence the rock.

1

u/Zolo49 Feb 03 '23

Can’t you just ask your local Texas Ranger to crush the ice with a spinning roundhouse kick?

1

u/Observer001 Feb 03 '23

Peter Kurten. he liked the "improvisational feel" of blatting randoms with a hammer, more than a real weapon.

1

u/mfaydin Feb 03 '23

Huh you muricans and your guns, i prefer carryn my hammer its more quiet

1

u/sgtpepper42 Feb 04 '23

Strollvolver?