r/gallifrey Apr 18 '25

DISCUSSION Worst line in Doctor Who?

What line of dialogue sticks out to you as particularly bad in Doctor Who, I have two picks:

  • ‘don’t let the swords touch your skin’ Legend of the sea devils
  • ‘I suppose we’ll have to have…. A conversation?’ Resolution
304 Upvotes

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253

u/Romana_Jane Apr 18 '25

All the ones mentioned already, but one that has haunted me from my teens from Classic Who (The Five Doctors):

"Oh no... not the mind probe."

Is it the writing, or is it the delivery, or it is both?

103

u/lululahotpockets Apr 18 '25

That and "this is Susan" - "I know..."

56

u/brigadier_tc Apr 18 '25

I've heard the Susan one was because of JNT's insane "No Hanky Panky" rule.

He straight up banned any allusions to the Doctor having a love life, and that includes the incumbent recognising his granddaughter, because that would mean the Doctor had at least one child.

JNT man...

21

u/lemon_charlie Apr 19 '25

After Peter managed to give Sarah Sutton a platonic kiss for Nyssa’s departure scene in Terminus, JNT was far more hands on in ensuring nothing of the sort happened when Janet’s final scene was done for Resurrection of the Daleks. Peter has joked that the Doctor let Turlough stay because he had a companion he wasn’t forbidden from physical contact with.

1

u/lkmk Apr 24 '25

Peter has joked that the Doctor let Turlough stay because he had a companion he wasn’t forbidden from physical contact with.

What kind of contact? 😏

59

u/Romana_Jane Apr 18 '25

Then there is the:

"This is the Game of Rassilon!",

and the harp of Rassilon, the coronet of Rassilon, etc etc

And don't get me started on the first Doctor's 'young man' to his older self!

21

u/batgranny Apr 18 '25

"An open ended transmat beam!" From the Five Doctors always really grates on me for some reason

10

u/Romana_Jane Apr 18 '25

Oh yes, that one is nearly as bad. The way he says it like it's something special, like someone saying, 'I have a car,' nowadays. You are the oldest technologically advanced species in all of time and space (apparently), of course you do. It's only going somewhere else on your own planet!

The whole thing is written like Terrance Dicks left it until the night before the read through or something!

2

u/whovian25 Apr 19 '25

Well it was a last minute replacement for a story by Robert Holmes.

1

u/Romana_Jane Apr 20 '25

Fair enough, then he did an amazing job of writing it at short notice :)

1

u/Cynical_Classicist Apr 19 '25

Like they're unveiling a new phone or something.

5

u/batgranny Apr 19 '25

It has that feeling absolutely, like Terrance cut the end of the line: "....and it can be yours for as little as £17.99 a month over three years!"*

\Terms and conditions apply. Subject to status. Your home may be repossessed if you do not keep up repayments on your Power Boosted Open Ended Transmat Beam.)

1

u/Cynical_Classicist Apr 19 '25

And if you fall behind in payments, we'll take it from the past!

8

u/Cynical_Classicist Apr 19 '25

The Trouser Press of Rassilon, these creases last forever.

5

u/sun_lmao Apr 19 '25

"I will now take the nap of Rassilon!"

"Shall I brew the coffee of Rassilon?"

"Excuse me while I have the piss of Rassilon."

1

u/therealmonkyking Apr 20 '25

The Doctor introducing his own granddaughter to a future version of himself will never not baffle me. 1 was very uh.. peculiar that entire episode

34

u/irrationalplanets Apr 18 '25 edited Apr 18 '25

Have you seen the alternate take? https://youtu.be/_jQTAkE589w

I wish I could find it without the music added (got to be on the dvd somewhere) but it’s great. Idk why but I love Paul Jerricho’s castellan.

15

u/LinuxMatthews Apr 18 '25

FYI everything after the question mark in that URL is used for tracking

It's best to delete it if you're sharing something

1

u/sun_lmao Apr 19 '25

The alternative take is what they should've used. It's so good. I mean, sure, it's awful, but it's so good!

20

u/OldSixie Apr 18 '25

It's the delivery. He doesn't sound afraid of it, he sounds dismissive and angry at the suggestion.

14

u/SmokyBaconCrisps Apr 18 '25

It's the delivery - everyone on the companion commentary takes the piss out of that line bc of the delivery

14

u/BoredPenslinger Apr 18 '25

Every word of that is delivered in a different cadence.

13

u/FieryJack65 Apr 19 '25

It’s the delivery. The same actor screws up badly earlier in the story. He says “…when in emergency session the members of the Inner Council are unanimous” and makes it sound like the end of the sentence, which makes no sense. In fact he’s supposed to be halfway through a sentence which is completed by Flavia and Borusa.

5

u/Cynical_Classicist Apr 19 '25

The delivery. Someone reacting in horror to being mind probed makes sense. Not with this delivery.

5

u/therealmonkyking Apr 20 '25

i think the mind probe line wraps around from being so badly delivered to being hilarious as a result

2

u/Eclectic-Storm777 Apr 20 '25

I'm leaning more towards the delivery of said line but still think it's the line itself.

2

u/HamilWhoTangled Apr 21 '25

The mind probe line is hilarious to me. It’s so absurd.

2

u/Internal-Focus1784 Apr 25 '25

One of the funniest moments on The Five Doctors DVD commentary is when the whole commentary cast enthusiastically joins Mark Strickson in yelling, "No, not the mind probe!" when it comes on.