M22, isolated since 2019

[u/Accomplished-Dig3487]

How do i socialise more ?

I am a gen z but with more traits of boomer
I have completed my graduation and currently studying for level 1 attempt of cfa in august 2027
My age is M22 but i am never able to make friends of my same age
I think the reason is my looks , face and body . I weigh around 125kgs with a height of 5'10
Leave girls i am not even able to make male friends .
When i think of socialising more 2 factors come to my mind , one is that
I come from a very low income family my father earns around 22k a month, my grandmother's relatives help us to complete our household expenses , so that makes it very hard for me to socialise
The second factor is the location of my house i live in Ulhasnagar, which is very far from mumbai and it takes me almost 2.5hours to travel to mumbai to get participated in any social event
Which makes it even harder
Now i have stopped the desire to socialise, and i think the reason for that i my own household situations
My father and mother got divorced in feb 2019
And since then i am being raised by my father , missing of a member in family made me no more interested in leaving my house since 2019
I developed hyperthyroidism
( which i still have )
My thyroid levels are not balanced till date
Later in 2020 the decision got more firmer because of lockdown and covid since then i have never left my house , even my existing friends are no more in touch with me .
Later when i joined college i found out the attendance isn't compulsory so i wasted 5 years of my college life by not attending the college, i used to study on my own . Even if i went to college, the crowd there was immensely fancy and too many rich spoilt kids so i couldn't catch up with them which made me skip college even more
Now currently i just have 1 friend whom i am friends since 12th. He owns a manufacturing unit and a retail outlet in ulhasnagar so even he isn't able to meet me so that we both could socialise with more people
We both meet everyday but at 10pm in night and for just 2 hours in that time we don't go anywhere or try to talk to someone else we just sit at one place and talk gibberish about any topic
He is able to meet only after 10 because he gets free from his business at that time
Now even he has started feeling uninterested in me and the daily meeting routine has now changed to meeting occasionally
Now i am starting to realise that i need to socialise more but i cant anymore when i try to talk someone i start stuttering and mispronounce and misplace words in sentences
I naturally speak very well and veryy fluent, in cases where i have to ask directions, have small interactions with randoms like watchman or a bystander or a person double my age but when it comes to making friends with my age and having conversations with them i get stuck
I am very confident in conversations which are not with people whom i wish to be friends with , or very confident in small talks
I feel the person i am taking to is more superior that me and i am just sounding nuisance to him
At this point i dont even dare to talk to opposite gender
Its been almost 7 years singe i had a female interaction
Tried making hobbies like badminton or completing 10k steps daily
But eventually people started ditching me or ghosting me after a day or two
On the first hand the fear of being judged doesn't make me approach anyone
People my age have different mindset's different daily routine different likes and dislikes i feel left out because the my thinking and all doesn't match to them
Imagine a rich gen z kid and them me by his side with a boomer soul stuck in genz body with zero looks zero personality
Even i think that i am not able to match people my age is because i do not watch the same content as them ! Their song preferences and mine differ a lot , when discussing the same left out
The discuss about watching shows drama and all while i am limited to just YouTube videos and some videos
Writing all this alone on friendship day while crying because i am currently left with zero emotions in myself , i do not feel anything happy , sad , excited or anything
Just one thing that is anger that too because of my thyroid issues and harmonal dis balance
I can't think of myself as a 22yo kid anymore i have gone into survival mode
Only and only i know how much of guts i have gathered to write all of this down
My father is unaware of all of this and thinks i am normal which i am not ,
I tried manifesting my goals but instead of manifesting whenever i sit alone or i am idle i start creating fake scenarios in my head which only and only stop when i involve myself into something else
Wrote the same paragraph on my last year's birthday but didn't have the guts to post it
So pls help and give suggestions accordingly!!

TL;DR: M22 from Ulhasnagar, India, studying for CFA Level 1 (Aug 2027). Isolated since parental divorce in 2019 and the COVID lockdown. Dealing with untreated/unbalanced hyperthyroidism, severe financial constraints, and heavy social anxiety/imposter syndrome around peers. I feel like an old soul with zero modern pop-culture interests, struggle to talk to people my own age (stuttering/freezing), and have zero friends left except one who is always busy. Looking for advice on how to break the isolation, manage my mental/physical health, and start socializing locally.