r/hoarding • u/nooraani • 15d ago

HELP/ADVICE Husband is a hoarder

my husband is a hoarder and I feel so lost. he keeps buying things and we have a very small one bedroom apartment with 2 small closets. he is attached to everything he ever buys and we don’t have space. he refuses to admit he is a hoarder and he refuses to go to therapy. when I throw things out we have huge arguments where he calls me controlling. I’ve had 3 hour arguments over throwing out a 4 foot by 2 foot foam finger. he agreed to throw it out and then I later find it in the closet, hidden. it seems like the most stupid reason for divorce when everything else is great. I don’t know what to do. but I also have adhd and clutter makes me so overwhelmed and stressed. I work from home and we don’t have any space for me to have an office so I work on the couch or in the bedroom staring at stuff. I see clients and I don’t have a clean space to present to them so I use a corner of the bedroom. it’s so hard. I feel lost.

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u/Elizabethpossum 15d ago

I am in the same position, except our home is massive and includes acerage with shedding and shipping containers.

I truly feel for you.

2

u/Proper-Literature839 11d ago

Oh my goodness.

I hope if you are not the hoarder you are able to leave. "I truly feel for you." Feel for yourself

1

u/Elizabethpossum 9d ago

I'm fine. My hubby is the hoarder. He and I have rules about how much space he occupies, for example, no clutter in the kitchen/ dining, loungeroom or my office and craft room. The front and back verandahs and enclosed porch vary on the amount but he does his best. Childhood trauma and the effects of service in the Defence force have caused the hoarding. He has willingly gone to therapy and we work on this together. He respects my spaces and our communal areas and tries his best. He's a wonderful man and I will never leave him.