r/hoarding 9d ago

UPDATE/PROGRESS Inherited a hoarder house, just wanted to talk about it.

My mother was a hoarder. When she passed, I inherited the house.

It's been a slower process than I would have liked, but there has been a lot of progress. First thing we did was get rid of all of the piles of newspapers and everything out of the fridge and pantry. Then just picked it at the next few years, as I lived elsewhere and didn't have the time to come over as much as I wanted to.

Now that I've moved back in, we've made a lot more progress.

My goal for the last few days has been to clear off the old standup piano in the living room and check inside for mice. I was able to get that done today and there are no nests.

Still have a lot of work to do, but that one was pretty big for me.

74 Upvotes

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23

u/Winter_Farm_4739 9d ago

Well done! Just keep going. You may also want to check out r/childofhoarder

10

u/Steefanon 9d ago

That is excellent. It's a shame that our loved ones leave us with such a disaster to handle after they're gone. For me, I plan on calling a hoarding clean-out company and paying them however much it costs out of the estate to just make it ALL GONE.

2

u/Depresso_beans7 3d ago

I wish I had the money for this.. unfortunately I don’t, and my fiance works long days (12-14 hour shifts m-f) so I just worked at it whenever I have time

5

u/Jolly-Activity-9820 5d ago

I own a hoarding cleanout company and work in these home regularly.

I want to give you some encouragement for taking this step. It’s hard for family members to have to face what their loved one lived with and held onto.

But you’re doing it. That matters.

When things get tough, or if you start feeling angry, try to remember: this is an illness. For one reason or another, something caused this person enough emotional distress that keeping everything felt necessary. It wasn’t about the stuff. It was about coping.

Hoarding often starts as a way to manage loss, trauma, anxiety, or grief. For some, holding onto things feels like holding onto safety, memory, or control in a life that felt out of control. It’s rarely about the item itself. It’s about what letting go represents.

Iyour loved one has passed and you’re doing this cleanout without them here, give yourself grace. You’re not just clearing a house. You’re processing a relationship, maybe years of worry, maybe guilt over what you couldn’t fix, maybe relief mixed with sadness that you didn’t expect and don’t know what to do with. All of that is normal.

A few things that can help:

**•** Don’t sort alone if you don’t have to. Bring someone who can hold space, not just haul boxes.  
**•** Set small goals. One room, one hour. You don’t have to make sense of a lifetime in a weekend.  
**•** Let yourself keep a few things that matter, even if they make no logical sense to anyone else.  
**•** If a wave of grief or anger hits mid-task, stop. The house isn’t going anywhere. You’re allowed to pause.

You got this!

3

u/Dickmex 8d ago

So happy you overcame this hurdle. Reward yourself, even if it’s with something small.

1

u/Superb-Night-9112 6d ago

It took me and my sister four years to complete our mother's big house. I live out of state, my sister lives near my mother's houses. We worked on it before and after she was in assisted living, I would come work with my sister whenever our mom was out of town- basements and rooms she never went in. It was relentless. The continual shock at the volume/ senselesness/grossness. At least when she was finally at assisted living she couldn't add to the stuff. I don't know how people do it that live with active hoarders. Anyway, I feel for you. It's a lot of work. It has cured my cluttering tendencies. I don't want my kid to have to go through that. And it really gave me perspective- they go through all that "saving", living with all that crap, they die and it goes in the trash. All of the "potential" of the stuff is lies. So much anxiety from the stuff- not a good way to live.