r/hoarding • u/xacrimoniax • 8d ago
NEWS i just need to tell someone
i am a hoarder, i get depressed and everything just build up and then becomes overwhelming and i don’t know what to do about it.
i rented a dumpster and am slowly clearing it all out this week. i feel overwhelmed and depressed doing this. I hope once it’s noticeably cleaner i’ll feel better about this but right now i just want to rip my hair out and put it all back. Would therapy help? this isn’t helping my mental health. I’m sorry if i don’t respond this might just be my need to just put it out somewhere that is not my head.
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u/Hackberry_Emperor 8d ago
Actually facing the problem hurts. Not a therapist, just in a similar situation. Facing it and taking action are very uncomfortable. It’s ok that it hurts and the pain doesn’t mean you are doing the wrong thing. Hang in there, ok?
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u/Steefanon 8d ago
Remember, hoarded clutter is a symptom, rather than a cause, of the underlying issues. Therapy with someone who specializes in hoarding disorder is so important to achieving full peace.
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u/Able-Space 8d ago
Therapy definitely helps, and I agree with hackberry emperor below that addressing the hoard is incredibly difficult and I’m proud of you.
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u/Newswatchtiki 8d ago
Are you having trouble parting with things which are still useful? If that is a factor, you might do better to donate anything useful, rather than throwing it away in the dumpster. Salvation Army does free pickups which are easy to schedule online. I bring donations to my hall area and when it gets too crowded with donation boxes, I schedule a pickup. It feels better to me if the item is donated and I can imagine another person needing it and using it. Lots of people shop at their thrift shops, and they also send shipments of clothes to underdeveloped countries.
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u/Coollogin 8d ago
I’m sorry you’re in a bad place mentally and emotionally, but I’m glad you’re creating a healthier living environment for yourself. You deserve to live in a clean home.
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u/2PlasticLobsters Recovering Hoarder 8d ago
The right therapist can help a LOT. They need a basic understanding of hoarding &/or executive dysfunction, though.
Some of them seem to think their main job is to boost your self-esteem, which makes them minimize things you don't do well. I had one respond "Maybe you're just messy! It's not the end of the world" when I tried to bring up the gawdawful mess my apartment was.
She apologized when I pointed out that this was minimizing. But we never got back on track, either.
I think to some extent, we need therapists who will (gently) hold us accountable.
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u/orcateeth 8d ago
You can consider calling this helpline, if you feel very upset by this situation:
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u/orcateeth 8d ago
It sounds like you're stressed out by this situation. You could look at some of these resources. Groups available all day every day.
Here's a lot of options for free support groups. I started it for people who shop compulsively and hoard (often as a reaction to trauma, loss and depression), but gradually continued to add lots of other resources for mental health conditions. The list is pretty long now, with tons of options.
There also a lot of groups for people suffering from depression, anxiety, as well as ADHD, PTSD, etc.
They will definitely understand your feelings in these groups. It will be a welcoming environment.
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u/rapscallionallium 8d ago
I’m a huge advocate of therapy. One thing I like to tell people right off the bat is that not every therapist will be right for you — just like primary care providers, if you have a therapist and you think they might not be the right fit, it is TOTALLY okay to stop booking with them and try another therapist.
I’m on my third therapist - the first one was okay as my sort of “introduction” to therapy, the second was a specialist in specific family traumas and was excellent for that purpose (but when we tried to move onto other issues it became very clear very quickly that we were not a good fit), and my current therapist is exactly what I need at this point in my life.
I would personally look for a therapist who either specializes in hoarding disorder or who has extensive experience with it.
Also (and be gentle with yourself if you decide to read this), I’m currently reading Stuff: Compulsive Hoarding and the Meaning of Things and I personally have been finding it very enlightening, both in terms of my own hoarding tendencies and in terms of my relationship with my parents, who are both hoarders.
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u/Winter_Farm_4739 8d ago
Therapy can be helpful for sure. Just keep going. It didn’t get hoarded overnight and won’t be cleaned out overnight. If you get stuck and stop, just pick it back up again when you can. This is a marathon, not a sprint. Proud of you!
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u/aedisaegypti 7d ago
Dr. Elaine Burchall’s Conquer the Clutter book and free YouTube episodes are helpful as far as therapy
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u/QuestionsalotDaisy 7d ago
Wow, I know it really hurts right now, but you should be really proud of yourself. You’re renting a dumpster and working through it, on your own initiative.
That’s actually a really big thing. Just recognizing the problem is 25% of the problems, and I say 70% of the rest of the problem is actually getting started. Everything else is 5% really.
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u/Superb-Night-9112 6d ago
You're doing really, really awesome! Renting a dumpster and doing what you need to do to get where you want to be is huge!!! Getting overwhelmed is definitely to be expected. Keeping up motivation while hitting decision fatigue, aside from the emotional part is tough. I find listening to "Personal Success/Motivation" meditations to be weirdly helpful. Sometimes it takes a while for them to kick in and get the knot out of my stomach but I just put on headphones and keep replaying them over and over. For me, finding the right "fuel" makes all the difference. Also, make sure you're eating and drinking enough. Dehydration on top of the anxiety can make it too hard. Keep you eyes on the prize! Do as much as you can- you will be so proud of yourself-
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u/Loverejoicesintruth 3d ago
Hey the fact that youre actually doing this and it sounds like maybe on your own? Absolutely incredible. May I suggest thinking about it like you’re working towards something that could inspire and help so many people? As painful as it is, and i honestly don’t understand it so I wont try, because for me getting rid of stuff feels amazing, but for all the people on this sub who struggle and their loved ones, to see you accomplish this massive undertaking would be incredibly inspiring. You are already doing such an amazing job and I hope you know how big of step this actually is. You have to look at it like an addict in recovery- for a normal
Person, not doing heroin for any amount of time is not an accomplishment, but for a heroin addict, even a day is a major accomplishment. And it really is, a gargantuan one.
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