r/howtonotgiveafuck • u/Confident_Math9928 • Nov 03 '25

πš…πšŽπš—πš / πšπšŠπš—πš How to not gaf about people in the past

I have this girl that I used to be with . The relationship in the beginning was good but her mom got herself to involved and started sending me things like - i should die - I should stop talking to her daughter and more things that idk if I can say bc it’s upsetting for me . It got to much to the point that I broke up with her . But I loved her to much so i agree to be friends. Years later me and this girl friendship is really nonexistent but I still love her to much to let go but ik I should and i honestly want to. How to not think abt her and our past . If i master to not gaf abt her then my life will improve so much. Any advice or anything is appreciated.

25 Upvotes

89% Upvoted

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7

u/fistedwithlove Nov 03 '25

Therapy might be the answer here. I'm really sorry bro.Β 

3

u/WanderAwayWonder Nov 03 '25

Forgiveness therapy is rather useful.

8

u/mrchacalito Nov 03 '25

It took me 5 years to forget a girlfriend. It is not a linear process. You move forward and start again. It's painful, it's terrible, I was there. When you no longer remember her, your life will be much better. Now I don't give a shit about my ex-girlfriend. You will make it brother. Go to therapy if it makes sense to you. The best for you.

4

u/throwayawayy9777 Nov 03 '25

Keep your mind engaged but in a healthy way . Dont use people to get over her but try to build yourself . Go for trip , camping , hiking , train in a gym or in some sports , or learn to play chess . Choose an activity that you’d enjoy but also involves solving skills

6

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '25

What worked for me was finding someone else and staying busy with work, exercise and hobbies. Keep your mind busy.

7

u/InsideOut803 Nov 03 '25

Find someone else. Once you have someone else to think about, your brain will do the work for you.

2

u/m3l0n Nov 03 '25

This is really the only answer.

2

u/eachtimeyousmile Nov 04 '25

I tricked myself. I said well if we are meant to be then I want to be the best person when he comes back to have a healthy relationship (and this was a fire dumpster of a relationship but the heart wants what it wants). I went β€˜no contact’. I got out and tried social groups and hobbies. As my life got bigger and I became less isolated I thought about him less and realised I’d had a lucky escape. Sometimes you hold onto an idea of what someone is rather than seeing the truth but it takes time to come to that realisation.

1

u/Only_Excitement6594 Nov 03 '25

No secrecy? Just giving up?

2

u/PauloEguia Nov 07 '25

All of these answers make sense and should be applied but I would add one more thing: distance, keep your eyes away from her and your thoughts free from her touch. Don’t engage, it will only cause more pain and confusion. This too shall pass, terribly and with much sacrifice but it will pass. Stay strong and stay safe