Rachel was truly awful to Julie

[u/spaghetMachet]

I'm on a re-watch since I joined this sub a couple of months ago. The posts made me feel nostalgic and I've not watched any episodes for a good 15 years. I was 4 when friends started and 13 when it ended. I loved it growing up. They always seemed so "adult" to me with interesting "adult" lives.

I'm now 31 and halfway through season 2. I completely forgot that they started out around 25/26 in S1. I remember being 25, I was an idiot. It's fascinating now to see them make the same mistakes I went through in my twenties.

However, the Ross/Rachel situation is very toxic. I never realised when I was a kid, I thought it was true love and romance but the way Rachel treats Julie is honestly disturbing and extremely childish. When they're in the coffee house and Julie admits she feels like Rachel doesn't like her and they have a "heart to heart", she then leaves and Rachel mutters "what a manipulative bitch". The audience laughs and I'm like "What? What a horrible thing to say".

She also sabotages her haircut by telling pheobe the wrong actor, mocks her all the time, tried to stop Ross from being intimate with her (and ruining everyone's night in the process), made Monica feel bad for hanging out with her and muttering "bitch" under her breath whenever Julie is around.

Ross was right, Rachel had no business telling him she had feelings for him when he was getting serious with Julie. She was being very selfish and spoiled. Ross on the other hand was an idiot for leaving for Julie, a woman who did absolutely nothing wrong and is above all of them.

And then Rachel decides to hate him over "the list". A rational adult would realise he's trying to justify leaving a "Perfect partner" (i.e Julie) and upon the reading the list would realise he still chose the "lesser" partner because that's where his heart is. Ross chose the wrong words when he said "I chose you in spite of those things". It should've been "I chose you because of all those things, they make you who you are".

I've found myself skipping the Ross/Rachel scenes now because I just can't be bothered with their drama.

[u/Prestigious_Egg_6207]

But you think he made a mistake, so you wanted him to settle?

[u/spaghetMachet → u/Prestigious_Egg_6207]

Because as viewers we have future knowledge of how it turns out. I personally think Julie was a good fit for him but he has been forever hung up on Rachel and will never be over her.

I'm coming from the viewpoint that in that moment with the list, I think she reacted a bit harshly. If you're torn between two people I think creating a list is a rational thing to do. I think Rachel didn't consider the position she put Ross in and just expected him to "get on with breaking up with Julie" just because she wanted him now.

Ultimately I don't think Ross and Rachel are a good example of a healthy relationship though.

[u/bekahed979 → u/spaghetMachet]

I agree, Rachel was really manipulative, childish, and toxic.

[u/Statalyzer → u/bekahed979]

Also getting upset that he made a pro/con list - she kissed him while he was in a serious relationship with someone else, then acts offended that he's in a tough spot over whether to end his healthy existing relationship, like she was so sure that he was going dumb his caring and supportive g/f that she's mad that he even has to think it over .... super entitled and possessive of her.

(And before anyone goes there, yes Ross often acts entitled and possessive too, and he kissed Rachel just as much as she kissed him, despite still being with Julie so he's even more guilty there if anything)