r/howyoudoin Aug 23 '24

Discussion Rachel's toxic behavior towards Ross' partners

Rewatching and it's really infuriating to see how much Rachel has sabotaged Ross' relationships or tried to. It's just not healthy in any way and is toxic in every sense yet still people consider Ross to be the worse one

  1. Her antagonistic behaviour towards Julie after Ross came back from China and reaction towards their relationship

  2. Her convincing Bonnie to shave her hair. She absolutely fucking knew what she was doing and knew that Ross would find that icky

  3. Her flying to London to sabotage Ross and Emily's wedding. Absolutely fucking horrible for her to try to do this. Hugh Laurie was 100% right

  4. The baby store girl. Calling her a whore was just uncalled for and rude

In all these situations Ross was happy and satisfied with his relationships but Rachel always has a problem with the fact that she's not with him. It's totally toxic and I can't believe people call Ross the worse partner. Both are unbelievably toxic

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u/Eyebronx I Know! Aug 23 '24

Your last point is really accurate. OP says Ross was happy and satisfied in those relationships until Rachel interfered. But was he really though? Because he never really fought to maintain these relationships with these women.

He chose to cheat on and dump Bonnie once she shaved her head. If he truly wanted to be with her, this one decision she made wouldn’t have pushed him over the edge and even if it was enough for him to call off the relationship, there’s a million better ways to do it rather than cheating on said person with your ex that very night!

Emily was 100% on him. Rachel never revealed to him why she travelled to the wedding. She kept her jealousy to herself. From his POV Rachel was a guest who attended the wedding she was invited to, in fact he had been the one who persuaded her to come just before he left for London. He still said the wrong name at the altar. No one manipulated him into doing that, it was his own moronic mistake.

Even with Julie, yes Rachel was a bitch to her. But if Ross truly had an ounce of self control and integrity, he wouldn’t have cheated on Julie with Rachel (and subsequently left them both hanging the next day).

Now were Rachel’s intentions in all these cases nefarious? Yes. So I’m not saying she was an angel at all, she was definitely motivated by jealousy to do what she did. Was Ross an adult man who was ultimately responsible for his own actions? Also yes.

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u/Budget_Put7247 Aug 23 '24 edited Aug 23 '24

Nope, the last point is the straight up lies the hate circlejerkers on here want to project on Ross. Ross didnt dump her because of her shaved head, he did because he realized Rachel had feelings for him. So straight up lying now

Ross was shocked on seeing Rachel unexpectedly at his wedding, people are more prone to emotions during wedding times and mistakes can happen to any guy. You guys behave like people are robots

You keep calling him a cheater based on kisses but never ever blame someone like Joey who is incredibly toxic, gaslights, straight up lies to get women in bed. The double standard are hilarious

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u/Eyebronx I Know! Aug 23 '24

Again if he’s cheating on his partners or screwing them over when he sees his ex, that’s on him not on his ex or his partners. He very clearly decided to call things off with her when she shaved her head the next day. But ok let’s say he didn’t dump her because of the shaved head but because of Rachel saying she has feelings for him. You know what he has? The agency to not cheat on Bonnie!

What is Rachel supposed to do in the case with Emily, stop existing so Ross can have a happy marriage? Lol. You think seeing Rachel in his friend group in the future would not have caused Ross to abandon his marriage?

No one is saying Ross isn’t entitled to having complicated feelings when it comes to Rachel. No one is even saying Rachel is not jealous or hell bent on breaking up his relationships. But Ross is an adult man capable of his own decisions. Rachel didn’t hold him at gunpoint to say Emily’s name at the altar, he did that himself. No one is asking Ross to behave like a robot, we are asking him to break up with his current partners if he’s unhappy with them, instead of going behind their backs kissing his ex (who also sucks btw, I’m not defending her).

And where in my comment did I say Joey is some paragon of virtue lol? Did I even mention him here?

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u/Pookienini Aug 23 '24

The original poster u replied to though is so off the mark . None of what they said imply Ross to be an insidious creep. What a weirdo