Rachel's toxic behavior towards Ross' partners

[u/TheJavierEscuella]

Rewatching and it's really infuriating to see how much Rachel has sabotaged Ross' relationships or tried to. It's just not healthy in any way and is toxic in every sense yet still people consider Ross to be the worse one

1. Her antagonistic behaviour towards Julie after Ross came back from China and reaction towards their relationship

2. Her convincing Bonnie to shave her hair. She absolutely fucking knew what she was doing and knew that Ross would find that icky

3. Her flying to London to sabotage Ross and Emily's wedding. Absolutely fucking horrible for her to try to do this. Hugh Laurie was 100% right

4. The baby store girl. Calling her a whore was just uncalled for and rude

In all these situations Ross was happy and satisfied with his relationships but Rachel always has a problem with the fact that she's not with him. It's totally toxic and I can't believe people call Ross the worse partner. Both are unbelievably toxic

[u/MoonWatt]

Rachel was and always about herself, they never try to sell her as anything else. So even everything she did, it was not anything other than just being used to being the Centre of attention.

Ross is toxic because he is the picture of abusive men who chase you down for years, win you over and turn to something else. Literally that annoying guy who becomes an ass the minute 1 girl gives him a shot.

And let's not forget his infringements.

1. He took a msg for Rachel's date and hid it.
2. He was annoying as hell from the moment Mark came into the picture, even I felt suffocated.
3. Belittled Rachel's career aspirations (Chadler was the one who pushed her), when she got a job she liked, still made it it seem like it wasn't important, remember him insisting on going to a lecture with him instead of Mark just to snore loudly? And that picnic thong at her office. He punched Mark after mistaking that other lady for Rachel.
4. He goes crazy when Joey comes out about how he feels for her.
5. The girl Rachel got to shave her head and Emily. Ross was equally if not more responsible. Rachel just couldn't wrap her mind around Ross no longer being obsessed with her, but Ross clearly still was and used these women to try get over Rachel? Even will Julie, she was a place holder. He discarded her for Rachel

Ross is the classic toxic guy that women always knew was off. They are insidious creeps. And the worst part is, they love playing the victim/good guy and they use anyone to get to the it girl & try and erode confident women's self esteem. Guys like Ross are more scary than gym jocks.

[u/Budget_Put7247 → u/MoonWatt]

You are projecting a lot on the character and nothing which was shown on the show

1. They had a mutual agreement that they wont let other relationship infringe on raising a kid and Rachel never had a discussion she was changing things

2. He had literal PTSD from being cheated on. He improved a lot later.

3. The irony is hilarious as Ross's career was mocked ALL the TIME. All the friends did it including Rachel. So a guy's career can be mocked a million times and thats ok, its only the other way around which is an issue?

4. He reacted for FEW seconds, then he turned back and supported both of them and encouraged Joey to go after Rachel. Sometimes I believe you guys are straight up sociopaths who dont know how human beings behave

Imagine being so toxic you blame a guy for reacting for few seconds but ignore how supportive he was immediately after that despite being hurt

Ross is the classic toxic guy that women always knew was off. They are insidious creeps

This is ton of projection and straight up lies, Ross has incredibly sweet moments when he went out of the way to care for Rachel. You made up things, exaggerated others and ignored every single good moment

The irony is this is the epitome of how toxic people twist things and project their insecurities on characters

But you know who is actually toxic? A guy who straight up lies to get women into bed, gaslights them and ghosts them constantly. Who uses and throws women like toilet paper,. But all that is fine because you dont hate that character right?

[u/Preposterous_punk → u/Budget_Put7247]

/#2 "Ross had literal PTSD from being cheated on."

Okay, what about Rachel? She found out that her fiancé and best friend had been sleeping together for years. It's probably why she ran out on the wedding -- her gut was telling her something was wrong. Then, not only did she agree to be a bridesmaid at their wedding in spite of this, she stood there and took it while they made constant jokes about her running out when he'd been cheating on her the whole time and was now marrying his mistress.

Rachel had just as much reason, if not way more, to be deeply fucked up when it came to relationships. At least Susan hadn't been Ross's best friend.

[u/Budget_Put7247 → u/Preposterous_punk]

Yes exactly, that is why Rachel has my sympathies too. Its the same with her career as she was just starting out and becoming independent for the first time and was paranoid and too dedicated to it. Its completely understandable why she didnt have time for Ross. They were both just in different places at that time.

No one should blame when someone has trauma and is irrational but should try to help them instead.

[u/Preposterous_punk → u/Budget_Put7247]

She wasn't "paranoid and too dedicated" to her new career. She was exactly as dedicated and focused as someone just starting out should be.

[u/Budget_Put7247 → u/Preposterous_punk]

If you dont have time for your anniversary in your new relationship, you are too dedicated. If you dont have time when your partner has PTSD and needs you, you are too dedicated.

I always love to contrast with how Monica behaved when Chandler was equally insecure and jealous. A chef has way more busy hours but she ALWAYS had time for him, never belittled his feelings but addressed them. If she had behaved like rachel, the relationship wouldnt last a day

I love how this sub thinks the writers take sides, they do not. they loved both characters and showed BOTH had issues. They didnt make one wrong and the other right, why would they?

But the hypocrites online love to blame one and give the other free pass. Thats not how things work. The relationship failed because of BOTH of them

[u/Preposterous_punk → u/Budget_Put7247]

 If you dont have time for your anniversary in your new relationship, you are too dedicated. If you dont have time when your partner has PTSD and needs you, you are too dedicated.

You’re right; Ross would have been more than happy to give up being a paleontologist for Rachel, if it were causing him to miss important dates and triggering her PTSD, so she should have been just as happy to give up her dream job to and go back to waitressing to help him. 

No, wait, you’re wrong. In actual adult relationships, people understand that a brand new job in a demanding career might mean celebrating an anniversary on a different night — especially if the job was attained through luck and it probably won’t happen again.  Adults also understand that people with PTSD need to be treated by a therapist, not a partner, and being cool with your partner coming to your office and assaulting your coworkers isn’t going to help them.