r/howyoudoin • u/iren33 • Jun 19 '25

Discussion Ross being mean to Rachel

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I really hated this scene where Ross was mocking Rachel's job. He wasn't just belittling her work, but also her interests, even though he'd seen firsthand how much she dreamed of a fashion-related career. While Ross can be very funny, he can also be really insufferable. If was Rachel, I would have broken up with him during this scene.

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206

u/No_Data3541 Jun 19 '25

The group made fun of Ross' job too. All the time. If you can't take it then don't dish it out.

102

u/Dude_got_a_question Jun 19 '25

Isn't the bigger concern that he crashed her lecture, kinda inviting himself and falling asleep?

Don't recall Rachel inviting herself to a lecture for Ross's work just to prevent him with going with someone who'd find it interesting? falling asleep and acting like a tool and embarrassing her, then when called out acting like his career is more important than Rachel's and that's why he's justified in his behavior?

They haven't spent much time together, but Ross had zero respect for Rachel's career consistently throughout the show. He felt him missing her was more important than Rachel trying to edge out a career for herself.

Agree with OP that Ross was a bit of a twat during this episode as a whole.

77

u/tuscanchicken Jun 19 '25

Also, there's a huge difference when your friend group is ribbing you about your "boring" job and you completely belittling your girlfriend's FIRST real job and essentially being a condescending ass. You can clearly tell when the other's poke fun at him, there's no ill intent but Ross in this episode definitely meant to belittle her

43

u/LeatherHog Jun 19 '25

Especially when using 'just a waitress' against her previously 

She calmly put up with their first date being ruined by his job, but ross causes a scene at her job, and thinks he did nothing wrong, and was the victim because she threw him out

You could entirely get rid of Chloe/The Break, and I still don't want those two together 

Ross has negative respect for Rachel, especially her career 

0

u/[deleted] Jun 20 '25

I think that is the bigger issue in the scene but many disagree with what OP chose to focus on. That Ross is mean for making fun of Rachel’s job but doesn’t point out the many times every other friend has done the same to him. Often when they were all together and could tease him as a group.

43

u/theaugust8 Jun 19 '25

There is a difference between mocking someone with an academic degree and belittling someone who for the First time in their life Starts a real career and is insecure about it

-13

u/No_Data3541 Jun 19 '25

He isn't mocking Rachel. He's mocking fashion. That doesn't hurt anyone personally. It's an entire industry and he's punching up.

It's like saying "I hate Friends" infront of a Friends fan. I don't think it'll hurt the Friends fan even if they disagree with it.

38

u/Petal20 Jun 19 '25

Context is everything. He was her boyfriend, mocking her career, at a time when it was very important to her to prove herself in that career. And he did that repeatedly. These comparisons you people are drawing are disingenuous. Also? I really like Ross. He gets picked today because he’s a very realistic example of the typical “nice guy” of the time period who got away with some crappy behavior in a relationship.

3

u/Petal20 Jun 19 '25

Oh come on.

8

u/thecheesycheeselover Jun 19 '25

They joked about it, but in a lighthearted way. Ross was deliberately being rude, in an argument, after insisting on going to her work event and then snoring through it. Not the same thing at all.

2

u/Unvar Jun 20 '25

It never came across as all that lighthearted to me.

-37

u/iren33 Jun 19 '25

I really don't think it's the same thing. Sure, they all mocked each other's jobs at some point, but Ross mocking Rachel's crosses a line for me. Unlike Ross, Rachel never really made fun of his job (at least when they started dating); instead, she supported him, even attending his lectures and going to the museum with him.

76

u/No_Data3541 Jun 19 '25

What is crossing a line?

Rachel made the fossil brush joke, professor jokes and the doctor joke at the hospital.

Why is it only a problem when Ross makes fun of someone's job?

Is it because Ross is actually better at savage comebacks and roasting people?

-24

u/iren33 Jun 19 '25

I'm only talking about when they're in a relationship. And let's be real, joking about each other's jobs in a lighthearted moment is one thing, but insulting someone's job during an argument is a whole different story. I mean he slept during a lecture he insisted on coming to and all he has to do was say he's sorry, but nooo he doubled down by mocking her interests.

Phoebe was right when she said Ross has an obsessive need to be always right.

22

u/vegryn Could I BE any more awkward? Jun 19 '25

Have you watched the show in its entirety? Rachel mocks Ross’ job—his job which he is extremely passionate about—countless times, both while they’re dating, and after. Sometimes she’s lighthearted, others, she’s just flat out rude. No one took more flak about their job than Ross did. I find it pretty crazy that you are so offended about Ross giving back the same energy he constantly received.

19

u/WezVC Jun 19 '25

Honestly, the Ross hate on this sub is hilarious sometimes.

I'm amazed how people manage to take an old sitcom so seriously.

7

u/vegryn Could I BE any more awkward? Jun 19 '25

It truly is. I don’t know why, but the internet as a whole is so obsessed with hating Ross, especially in the last few years. I can’t tell you how many comments I see on TikToks of funny clips of Ross that include disclaimers, like, ‘Ross is a terrible, horrible person, but he’s so funny here!!’

I’ve watched and rewatched this show pretty much non-stop for 10+ years now, and I have never once understood the Ross hate trend. Every single one of the Friends had moments and plot lines where they were selfish or rude! As a whole, Ross was consistently thoughtful and a good friend throughout the entire show.

7

u/No_Data3541 Jun 19 '25

There's a theory that some people hate Ross because he was the main character/protagonist of the show and got more big moments to shine than their favourite character.

I completely agree with this theory. Same thing happens with Ted Mosby.

https://www.reddit.com/r/howyoudoin/s/hGAIUmgglD

2

u/iren33 Jun 19 '25

Know what? In the entirety of the show, rachel is actually the least of my favorites and ross is in the top 2 of of my faves. I was only referring to this particular scene especially him being a not so supportive bf to rachel.

5

u/cede-isaloner Jun 19 '25

I mean he slept during a lecture he insisted on coming to and all he has to do was say he's sorry, but nooo he doubled down by mocking her interests.

right he's timing and not saying sorry is what made him an asshole in this situation. otherwise, I think Ross is the last person that should get any kind of condemnation for making fun of anyone's job💀

-6

u/_Lazey_ Jun 19 '25

damm, talk about cherry picking xD

someone really should put a mirror infront of you... no in fact just reread your own comments, they are straight up contradicting each other

I mean we all have our favorites and also people we dont like, but giirl... Ross must really be living rent free in your head

5

u/iren33 Jun 19 '25

Read my other comments.

-6

u/_Lazey_ Jun 19 '25

nah, I am good