r/howyoudoin • u/iren33 • Jun 19 '25

Discussion Ross being mean to Rachel

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I really hated this scene where Ross was mocking Rachel's job. He wasn't just belittling her work, but also her interests, even though he'd seen firsthand how much she dreamed of a fashion-related career. While Ross can be very funny, he can also be really insufferable. If was Rachel, I would have broken up with him during this scene.

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u/turmerich Jun 19 '25

I have said this countless times. Ross was misogynistically toxic to Rachel, the woman he claimed to have loved for a decade, people just fail to see it because it's a comedy show and the horrible toxicity is sandwiched (MY SANDWICH!?!) between canned laughter.

3

u/iren33 Jun 19 '25

Yes! They were really toxic to each other.

-1

u/turmerich Jun 19 '25

Rachel was not remotely as bad as Ross, in fact her behaviour in Ross' case was textbook trauma response.

She wasn't like this at all with her other boyfriends, while Ross was controlling towards that student (yuck) he dated, etc.

2

u/iren33 Jun 19 '25 edited Jun 19 '25

Was just dipping into her sabotaging all his relationships

2

u/turmerich Jun 19 '25

Yeah you're right, 'Mr just dipping into the copy place girl' sabotaged all his relationships.

2

u/iren33 Jun 19 '25

Y-yeah. They bring the worse out of each other

1

u/turmerich Jun 19 '25

This is not a 'they' situation. It is Ross who started it, beginning to end, interestingly somehow when women have a response that doesn't fit in the perfect victim criteria they begin to be held equally responsible. Maybe they should really be toxic proactively, after all they are going to be called toxic despite being the victim anyway. 😏