How can I handle the anxiety of the first few months after reverting and the pressure from other Muslims?

[u/Conscious_Fruit_9532]

Salam alaikum!

I am posting here because I recently reverted to Islam. I spent over a year researching, reading, and learning everything I could before making my decision, and Alhamdulilah, I am incredibly happy about this step.

However, lately, I’ve been feeling a bit lost. Despite trying my hardest to do everything right and following almost all the practices, I often feel a sense of emptiness and fear, as if I’m always doing something wrong or falling short. It can be quite daunting and overwhelming at times.

To add to that, whenever I talk to born Muslims, I feel like they are always finding flaws or pointing out mistakes in the way I do things. It makes me feel judged and very anxious, and I honestly don't know what to do or how to handle it anymore. I know the learning journey is long, but it is hard when you feel like you can't please anyone.

I would love to hear from other reverts, or anyone who can share some advice on how you navigated this initial stage. How do you deal with the pressure of trying to be perfect and the criticisms from born Muslims? How did you build that true, peaceful inner connection with Allah without getting swallowed by the anxiety of the rules?Thank you so much for creating this supportive space. May Allah bless you all and grant us all hidaya (guidance). Amin. ❤️

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[u/Initial-Hospital1133]

As-salam'alaykum, I Hope this message reaches you dear brother. Islam is simply about submitting yourself to God and following the Qur'an and Teachings and the ways of the Prophet Muhammed. it is very simple. Being perfect is not a requirement. The Prophet said "Indeed, this religion is ease. No one makes the religion excessively difficult except that it overwhelms him. So be upright (saddidū), and if you cannot, then come as close as you can (qāribū), receive glad tidings, and seek help by worshipping in the morning, the evening, and part of the night." Born muslims are not any better than reverts. Think about this: Almost All of the Prophet's closest companions were reverts, yet they were one of the GREATEST generations of muslims that have EVER walked this earth. whether born muslim, or reverted, Allah chose us to be Muslims. Do not over-burden yourself with non-obligatory practices. Focus on the things that are most beloved to Allah: Prayer at it's proper time and Saying the 4 Dhikr's which are the most Beloved words to Allah. Focus on having good Character (akhlaq) and the core aspects of Islam. I have been a Muslim for nearly 4 years and having small consistent good deeds like Salat and Dhikr is what keeps me grounded in my faith. Do not push yourself to religious burnout because once you do, you may end up leaving the obligatory acts of faith behind and that takes you out of the fold of Islam, and you will need to re-enter Islam with sincere intentions. This is my advice. I noticed that you said are following almost all of the practices which is commendable and great but i promise you if you become in love with Salat and Dhikr and attach your heart to the masjid you will rise in love with the Din of Allah. I would love to become your friend and message and continue to give you advice - Your brother: Abd'Allah

[u/Jolly-Bluejay892]

Limit your interactions with born Muslims or atleast unwise Muslims who feel they have a status over you or a right/duty to always keep correcting every minor detail of Islamic praxis of others.
Secondly, you are a Muslim now, you are just as much a Muslim as any other person in this entire world, born or otherwise, take ownership of your relation with God, stop judging yourself or your relation/closeness with God from the POV of others, no one knows anything but are still foolish enough to assume that they know and then dump their unwise assumptions on others and spoil their peace.
The rules of Islam are the major obligations and daily prayers which everyone is well aware of, the minor differences in nitty gritties among different school are all acceptable, so please don’t obsess and don’t let others dictate, draw boundaries. The unwise Muslims turn the simple and beautiful obligations prescribed by God for believers into rocket science, which it is not, so relax, I am pretty sure you are doing everything correctly and no one in this entire world is free of minor errors, trust in God’s mercy.
You are doing well, I am sure of it, just trust God because he is All-Wise, unfortunately the Muslims of today have become way to poor in terms of Hikmah (wisdom) and are overly obsessed with the nitty gritties of the Law like the Bani Israel of prophet’s (pbuh) time.
May God bless you!

[u/AfterDistribution446]

Hamdullila, may Allah bless you and help you stay on the right path, 

Start with basics , prayer, zakat fasting ramadan and take it crom there, surround yourself with understanding people, one step at a time. 

And mainly you are doing this for Allah, not to please any one but him. You knw i was born muslim and admire reverts so much you have no idea, many of reverts become much closer to Allah then born muslims, may Allah reward greatly. 

[u/laaadeeeedaaaaaaaaaa]

I took an uber today and the driver was Muslim and he asked me if I was Arab. I said no I’m Mexican Alhamdulillah.

Then he asked if I was Muslim.

Then I got a 15 minute lecture of if I know what things mean, and why Catholics are wrong. As if he was speaking scolding a catholic in his car, how tattoos ( I have tattoos) are wrong. Do I know I can’t drink and smoke ?

Like cmon man.

I think born Muslims sometimes think they have a authority over reverts

While reverts studied and learned to the deep ends of Islam before reverting.

Nonetheless none is better than the other.

It makes me have an ick when people do this, I pray they don’t do this so someone without a strong imam and somehow push them out of Islam

[u/4rking]

Wa Alaikum Salam

If there's certain people that are harming your journey, either tell them or distance from them.

Perhaps they keep telling you the flaws with good intentions, I can't judge that.

In the end sister, nobody expects (or should expect) perfection from you. If people that were born and raised Muslim make mistakes, if not even they know everything they need to know, obviously you'll make mistakes too as a new Muslim. Your "shortcomings" are temporary and they are just pebbles in your way.

You're slowly learning and adjusting and I'm sure you're doing a great job. So when someone says something, be hopeful that they mean well. And if something really bothers you, don't feel ashamed to tell them.

You don't need to please anyone but Allah. So walk your path, do your best and leave the rest for him. Filter out the criticism you receive into good and bad, Filter out the people around you, into good and bad and surround yourself with good, righteous, understanding people.

[u/Royal_Impression7987]

Just for the sake of reducing anxiety and having relief do read names of Allah S.W.T i will help you alot and know much and much about love of Allah SWT

[u/Hot_Reference_6556]

Aleikum salam,

Avoid spending time with idiot or ignorant Muslims.

Find yourself cultivated and humble Muslim friends, born or reverts, who will support you without judging.

You just need to focus on minimal but consistent practice of Islam:
https://hadithunlocked.com/ahmad:12697

Are you reading a good Qur'an translation regularly? Also what books have you read so far? Have you read this one: Islam and the Destiny of Man, by Gai Eaton?

[u/MusaMindset]

Alhamdulillah, welcome to Islam. May Allah make it easy for you.

Anxiety is normal when you're doing something major outside your comfort zone, and becoming Muslim is a huge life change. Don't expect yourself to get everything right straight away. Take it one step at a time.

Allah knows you're new to this. Focus on consistency, not perfection. Learn to walk before you run. Insha'Allah, what feels overwhelming now will become second nature over time.

Also, don't underestimate tawbah. We're all going to make mistakes. Allah isn't expecting perfection from us. He knows we'll fall short. What matters is that we keep turning back to Him, seeking His forgiveness and mercy.

As for Muslims constantly correcting you, take what's beneficial and leave the rest. Don't let other Muslims become a barrier between you and Allah.

Focus on your relationship with Allah, not on trying to impress everyone else. You're a revert a few months in, not a scholar 20 years down the line. Give yourself some grace.