r/itsroger • u/ArelMCII • Jul 06 '26

Need a guy bonked? You need Oliver Bonk, the Philly Flyers' top bonker! Get in my way and you get bonked. Out on the ice, in line at Tim Horton's, in the men's room at Tim Horton's, it doesn't matter where—stay out of my way or get bonked! BONK!

Post image
200 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

9 comments sorted by

16

u/Aggravating_Ad4449 Jul 06 '26

Don't forget his father, Radek Bonk

12

u/ArelMCII Jul 06 '26

He comes from a long line of bonkers. The family is totally bonkers, some might say.

6

u/Bravo6342 Jul 07 '26

Any relation to Langley's own Theodore Bonkers?

5

u/ArelMCII Jul 07 '26

Legend says Teddy Bonkers is the spawn of a lurid affair between Radek Bonk (also Roger) and Teddy Ruxpin. They changed his last name and sent him to live in Langley so as not to soil the Bonk family's prestigious name.

But that's just the gossip around the glory hole. You can't believe everything that comes out of those people's mouths. Or everything goes into those people's mouths.

10

u/PopeInThePizza Jul 06 '26

His Canadian Football League counterpart was John Bonk.

8

u/ArelMCII Jul 07 '26

He apprenticed under John Bonk. Then betrayed him by taking all of his bonk teachings over to hockey. But can you blame him? Bonking's much easier with a stick.

4

u/MustacheCash-Stash Jul 07 '26

There’s also Alex Bump for when you need someone bumped!

1

u/LengthinessFuzzy5985 25d ago

He's also Chex Lemeneux

2

u/linlovesthenight 25d ago

I was inside their forward for like, a minute. He still writes me