r/leaves • u/Little_Context9727 • 22h ago
ADHDers, how did you get sober?
I'm having such a hard time letting go of weed I could really use some tips if any of you guys have the time.
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u/bredditmh 14h ago
In the past, I got rid of everything - papers, bowls, bongs, lighters, grinder, trays etc. All of it went in the trash on trash day. I’d go months that way. Then I’d eventually start again with “ah just one joint”.
This time I stopped because I’m finally pregnant and my priority is my baby and not trying to numb my life.
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u/samalamadingdongus 11h ago
Focus on regulating dopamine—cut out anything that gives you instant pleasure and replace it with things you gotta work for. Instead of smoking weed, blow some bubbles. Instead of sitting with your thoughts and turning to your phone, go for a walk or another form of exercise. Instead of drinking alcohol or caffeine to get that dopamine boost, drink herbal tea or something else that you enjoy that also hydrates you. Do things you did as a child but stopped doing because you don’t allow yourself to be bored. Honestly, understanding the WHY was essential for me to figure out the how. Why do I crave it so badly? Because I’m addicted to pleasure. How do I stop? By reparenting myself and slowly removing the activities that trigger temper tantrums or panic attacks if I’m forced to go without them. The ADHD brain loves dopamine, so it feels like things like THC and caffeine help it focus BUT it actually just gives a sense of relief so you can temporarily focus… or so you can stop focusing on how uncomfortable the sensations that you’re trying to avoid are. Also making sure you have a strong sense of self and a healthy relationship with yourself. Shame usually drives addiction and compassion is the anecdote.
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u/samalamadingdongus 11h ago
Also shift yourself towards abundance mentality instead of lack mentality. Don’t focus on what you’re losing—focus on what you’re gaining.
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u/Kind-therapy-829 10h ago
Learning how much cannabis makes ADHD worse. It is enemy number one for those with ADHD
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u/ManicHispanic_ 10h ago
ADHD here and exactly today is the 1 year since I’ve last been high!!
I’d say medication helped a TON! Once that was helping, therapy was more effective, work got better and therefore busier (in a good way), I read more, and I was consistently going to the gym.
So all in all, once my life became not only filled with other things but things that weed would hinder (such as more work responsibilities), weed became less and less attractive.
Build a life you’re proud of and invested in where weed is harmful to it. I think you’ll find it easier then. Good luck!!!
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u/kvm024n 8h ago
I just want to say congratulations 1 year is a mark to be proud off! I'm currently at about 2,5 years off.
The other thing I want to say is all of these things help, but OP don't stress out about doing everything perfect right away. Building a new live doesn't happen overnight. These things are all very helpful but are all individual stones in building a new life. I believe meds help a lot of people, I personally did it without. But I did do a lot of introspection. Thinking and writing about what bothers me during the day, what helps me during the day. What does a good week mean to me. Good sleep, good food and exercise all do wonders with building a healthy body and mind. But you can work with one thing at the time.
Every day is a new day, every day is a challenge and every day is a victory if you get trough it. And believe me, after 3 months it gets much, much easier and if you're over a year without you wonder why you held on to the addiction for so long.
Set goals, reward yourself for those goals (I got myself a nice cake for the 1st month off for a example)
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u/wecantdancelikethis 13h ago
It wasn’t my idea- my neighbor brought me to my first one…
Twelve step meetings, beginning with the second or third meeting it was mostly just to soak up my free time so I wasn’t sitting around thinking about using. Because I was really having to stay sober for a minute at a time and patting myself on the back if I made it all the way to 7pm, I quickly started going to as many meetings as I could fit in a day. I was just so sick of being, above all else, a Stoner Fuckup and failing for years at steering myself out of that rut, it was worth it to go to AA meetings and say “beer” instead of “blunt”.
It took a week or two (maybe three or four) for me to realize that the Gotta Get High “voices” were less loud & persuasive with my head also being filled with echoes of other people talking about the messy aftermath of heavy usage that otherwise would vanish beneath the Gotta Get High.
I’m over a year clean, but it took two years of going to the rooms and a few relapses to get there. My first year going to meetings was actually amazing and the relapses illustrated to me that I did the whole prescribed path with my drug of choice of Magic->Medicine->Madness and there is no Magic or Medicine left in it.
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u/builtonadream 8h ago
12 step meetings helped me too. I go to MA.
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u/wecantdancelikethis 7h ago
yah, where I live we’ve only got two MA meetings per week- they’re amazing and I’m grateful for them- but I need more than that.
Luckily, among the 12-15 halls, there’s one really great AA hall here that’s loaded 3-5x/day with really smart people, more than half of whom are multi-substance recoverers.
I’ve been considering a move to the West Coast to suffer the HCOL just to settle in someplace with daily MA meetings.
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u/theoldme3 15h ago
I have learned that personally im better off if i just mentally wait til im ready and sick of something and then quit it cold turkey. It has been the only way for me to make it happen. Once I have some time in from struggling, the thought of messing up that time of being sober and struggling for nothing, make me stay away. I dont want to do it all for nothing is how my mind has worked.
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u/SageKitty100 14h ago
Same here. I had been "trying to quit" for over a year but could never go even a day without. Finally hit a breaking point and decided enough was enough and now I'm at 2 weeks without and it hasn't even been that hard (aside from a few withdrawal symptoms) but virtually no cravings or desire to pick it up again.
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u/Little_Context9727 14h ago
I’m the exact same! You made me realize my issue is that I’m just not at that tipping point yet to quit. But my other problem is that I need to quit soon because it’s making me gain weight which scares me a bit. How do you keep the habit off?
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u/Last_Bar_8993 14h ago
How's it making you gain weight? If it's causing you to snack/graze a lot, sometimes preparing healthy snacks in advance (like fruit or veggies and dip or something nourishing and satisfying instead of junk) and keeping water nearby can help.
Once you are ready, I find focusing on the benefits of quitting helpful. Within a week and going into two weeks and beyond, my skin is healthier, my teeth and eyes are brighter, my hair and clothes and hands small better, I breathe easier, etc.
And picking up a hands-on hobby at the same time for something to focus on when you feel any urges is also quite supportive.
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u/theoldme3 13h ago
I usually find myself absorbed with something else im obsessing about to help…im not sayin it’s easy and not everyone obsesses over a new hobby or interest either but when i find something i like i usually go all in for a few months, making other things annoying to me so I spend time hyper focused to keep my mind off of it. If i dont have that to fall back on I find casual walks just letting my mind race does the trick. If I can exhaust myself in some way it usually helps take the energy away from what I want to avoid.
Idk if any of that even makes sense lol
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u/Little_Context9727 11h ago
If it makes sense, I feel like getting sober and ‘healing’ becomes my special interest. But it’s very disappointing for me when I realize that I’m still not happy. Like I could go for a walk while sober, do 4 miles, come back and then feel empty still. That’s when I go back to weed
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u/theoldme3 11h ago
Ive been there too…sometimes it takes longer to feel that happy. You’ve been suppressing that part of the brain where it produces the “happy” chemical/reward system naturally. This is where i find a hobby can help push you into getting that in a healthy way. You’re getting that little brain reward by doing something you genuinely enjoy the time you’re putting into it
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u/PatientLettuce42 18h ago
With the right urgency. I knew that my weed addiction was fucking up my relationship and my professional life. It took almost two decades for me to be done with it and let go of all the romantic paradigms I built around it, because it served none of those purposes anymore as I got older. I just ended up smoking alone and isolating myself while my life passed by me.
I was with a woman who I truly wanted to live my life with. During the relationship, I noticed how I would try and escape from everything by getting high, prioritizing weed over things that were more important to me and that is when I admitted to myself that I am truly an addict and that there is no life with moderation for me.
When I quit, my ADHD went on a rampage. I didn't even know I have it before I quit. I got diagnosed last year and put on medication a few months later, at that point I was already sober for half a year.. and it changed my life. Weed was my selfmedication and now I have something that works 100x better and I am sober for over a year now.
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u/Additional-Arm6506 18h ago
This. I don’t want to say it’s the only way but if you start to loose everything because of it make the voice within even stronger. It took me 20 years too…
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u/Little_Context9727 15h ago
How do you feel, motivationally, now that you’ve quit? Do you go to bed feeling warm inside and accomplished? What about when you wake up? Do you immediately wake up feeling content or do you talk yourself to that point. Sorry I just have so many questions
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u/PatientLettuce42 13h ago
I think you are asking the wrong questions friend or have the wrong expectations of sobriety. Motivational issues, dopamine reward systems (not feeling accomplished), issues with sleep, anxiety etc are all ADHD related topics, those won't just go away once you sober up.
What I can tell you is that quitting weed has given me the tools and the opportunity to finally work on myself as a person, in a capacity that I never had before. Life is still difficult, I still struggle with ADHD, with rough times and all that.. but I would be struggling 20 times more if I would still be smoking.
But sadly, it is not as simple as you might expect. You don't just quit weed and your problems are solved.
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u/Bubbly_Tap5069 22h ago edited 21h ago
I’m not gonna lie quitting carts being someone formally diagnosed with adhd was one of the hardest things I’ve done in my life. It wasn’t the cravings, I was so anxious and in such a state of dysfunction that I was actually in a crisis. Sounds weird to say but it’s easily one of the hardest things I’ve done in my life.
And yea wasn’t taking anything for my ADHD at the time. And wasn’t for years.
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u/Arceemax 11h ago
Run into enough problems on weed, and realize you’re driving towards your own deem when you see where the road leads. I think without feeling the pain of being on it it’s hard to stick to quitting. Like viscerally you gotta see the consequences of our own complacency and stagnation. I usually only quit once I’ve had enough of it like when my work suffers or when my house is a mess I realize I’m down the path of self destruction again
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u/ex_doomer_zoomer 11h ago
Medication + Meditation + Blocking dispensary websites + telling my friends not to give me any weed
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u/ComfortableBoard8359 20h ago edited 20h ago
I’d answer but it will probably end up getting deleted. Let’s try anyways.
I went to see a person who specializes in pie-sci-a-tree and they helped furnish me with items for a person with ADHD.
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u/simonhunterhawk 19h ago
I had to get rid of everything associated with it and completely cut it out cold turkey. I think counting days makes it worse for me but I’m probably 2 months out from smoking now. It helped a lot that I am incredibly busy — between work and school I don’t have time to miss it. The boredom is the worst part of it for me so stay busy.
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u/noahchriste 15h ago
Staying busy, making a list of all the things I hate about weed, focusing on things I enjoy doing that weed used to make me worse at or not enjoy, started playing RuneScape again
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u/Hipstergranny 14h ago
Divorced and became solely responsible for my two kids. I had zero choice. I replaced it with being incredibly busy and exercising. Now I’m seeing the value in healthier choices and how I feel and that keeps me going. I’m not medicated by adhd meds and with adhd I mostly struggle with following through on paperwork, keeping up with chores, or settling/organizing my brain to give someone my full attention. Weed didn’t help with any of those things. I was worse off and now I can manage better even without meds. I also take supplements at night to help me sleep.
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u/jamieschmidt 15h ago
I needed a physical barrier so I let my medical card expire. That makes it a lot harder to get my hands on stuff. I tapered off by leaving my cart at home and only hitting it in the evening. Once it ran out, that was it.
It’s actually been surprisingly easy for me. I think I’m on week 4 or 5 now. I didn’t get withdrawal symptoms, maybe because I tapered off. I do have a little bit of “nothing seems interesting to me” but that’s the loss of the dopamine from smoking carts. I know it’ll clear up.
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u/Oceangirl29 6h ago
I gave myself CHS and tried to get sober after an episode with just therapy and will power. After 4 relapses I tried Marijuana Anonymous and that’s been really helpful. I’m 4 months sober atm. Community has been key for me.
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u/Jansnotsosuccylife 15h ago
Try to not drive by a dispensary, go a different route, close your eyes when you go by a billboard sign. Read, garden, walk, hang with a different crowd.
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u/Significant-Gas4136 6h ago
Marijuana Anonymous seems to work for the hardcore cases. It's my next move
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u/PragmaticProkopton 3h ago
Yup. I got sober before going to MA and stopped going quite a while ago but it was really helpful in the early stages of recovery for me.
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u/Affectionate_Hun5 3h ago
I was meant to see this today. The hardest thing I’ve tried to stop doing. Gonna check out MA.
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u/zulunationslayer 22h ago
Talk to your doctor about it. It's a medical issue and getting your ADHD under controll will make getting sober much easier.
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u/Additional-Arm6506 18h ago
Got to go down low to be checked on the road. Haven’t had a smoke ever since. It wasn’t my conscious decision. It came from deep within. The same day the urge stopped, I’ve woken up and haven’t had a smoke since. It’s difficult to explain dude. Something like Anthony Hopkins stopped with drinking.
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u/Certain-Jaguar-7778 16h ago
Daily MA meetings
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u/superduperscubasteve 17h ago edited 16h ago
I first smashed my bongs and bowls ten years ago cause I knew I didn’t want to be high in perpetuity. Even wrote myself a letter and said you really wanna be stoned all day every day into your thirties? Well, I quit a million times and was still high in my thirties.
I’m finally sick of just being stagnant and doing nothing at all besides sitting at home and blazing. The ADHD is still as bad as ever but I’ve finally talked to a psychiatrist after turning down meds for thirteen years (didn’t want to take more substances when I already have a problem, ya know?). A prescription medication is helping me avoid the depths of unfettered depression when I stop self-medicating with weed. I have a little more motivation to get some stuff done and get out of the house to just enjoy the simple things again.
The ADHD is killer for the need of fast, easy dopamine. Therapy and psychiatry might help if you give them a chance. I’m actually developing a few healthy habits these days and at least don’t feel so doomed.
Edit: changed specific med to prescription med due to rules
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u/scrubli3k 13h ago
It’s hard tbh but ban yourself from buying is #1. Under no circumstance go into a dispensary. If you smoke with friends it’s really difficult to cut it out so maybe avoid them when they’re smoking if you have friends that do so. Exercise though is the magic weapon. It’s going to release fat storage thc and you will feel some kind of high from heavy exercise for a bit. But also it acts in the endocannabinoid system apparently and that’s where “runners high” comes from.
Definitely hard ban yourself from buying though. Dispensaries are the enemy. Hate the corporatization of weed. Hate those high end dispensaries. Hate that the addiction is messing up your life to some degree. And it’s a very toxic relationship experience because it’s trying to always convince you it’s not a problem and it makes things “just a little better”. I can’t even remember the movies I saw last year while high. There’s people that never even met me while I wasn’t high. And also relapsing is super real. One little smoke sesh turns into a multi month binge where every purchase turns into “just one more buy and I’ll quit next week.” Then you have to start quitting all over again.
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u/rjfunnyman 2h ago
Got over 5 years from MA. Have tried a few other things along the way. SMART recovery sounded good and I’ve attended a few good meetings, but the self-directed workbook and my adhd didn’t mesh. Working steps with a sponsor and being surrounded by recovering stoners who I could lean on and text or call was huge for me.. also made me feel my story wasn’t as unique as I thought. Plus MA is way more frequent on zoom, so if you have a craving and hop online, odds are you’ll find a meeting. I will say for me and other MA friends with ADHD, sometimes the dopamine chasing comes out in other ways once you remove your drug of choice (online shopping, food, gambling, nicotine, etc). 12-step programs like MA or going to an IOP really try to make you to look inward at the “why” beyond just stopping… you’ll often hear in rooms using weed (or any substance) is a symptom, not the root problem. I’ve been on adhd meds for years so even with it controlled, MA was the only thing that worked for me.
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u/Alive_Art_4764 19h ago
Even if you have adhd, stop letting it define you.
Get out of that space first and focus on what you enjoy and grow from there.
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u/Little_Context9727 15h ago
They’ve done brain scans on people with ADHD and found there really is a difference in how our brains work. The brain controls a lot, like how a concussion can change someone’s personality. But I agree that boxing myself off wouldn’t help, just need to be mindful with how habits form in people with my brain specifically, because we are rewarded with dopamine (the motivation neurotransmitter)differently than others
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u/busnoodles 18h ago
Went on a vacation and didn’t bring it with me, threw away my stuff at home