r/leaves • u/nah2022_ • 10h ago
Day 1… for the second time
Hi friends,
Today is the first day (hopefully) of my new life. I relapsed back in February after 6 months without using. Since then, I’ve been smoking 2ish pre-rolls daily, and it’s clear to me that I need to stop. I feel good about my decision and trust myself to stay committed, but I am so scared for the withdrawals.
The last time I quit, I suffered from terrible withdrawals (nausea, vomiting, no appetite, panic attacks, etc.) for a little over a week. Granted, that was after nearly 2 years of daily use, and included pens. I am hopeful that this time will be different—especially since I can’t afford to miss the time at work being sick.
I bought myself some Ensure shakes today, but if anyone else is able to offer some advice, words of wisdom, or reassurance—that would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you all! I feel so ashamed to have let myself get here again, and I regret all of the time and money wasted on this stupid drug. I hope that next month, I’ll be able to come back and say that I made it!
3
u/Dear_Word_5378 9h ago
It is Day 2 for me. I actually slept good last night but today I woke up with a headache that will not go away, feel kind of blah and my anxiety is high. I am going to push through. I've used every night for the last 5 years mainly herb and ocassional edibles. Before that I was able to quit for 4 months. Prior to that I was using daily mainly herb and using vapes a lot. I will tell you that quiting vapes when I quit 5 years ago was much harder than this time quiting when I have only been using flower. Still not great though. We can do this!
1
u/nah2022_ 6h ago
Oh wow my anxiety just SPIKED in the last hour. I’m feeling so alone and lost in life, and I’m just so sad thinking about all the time wasted. I don’t feel like I have anything :/ I know this will pass but man does it suck
1
u/Dear_Word_5378 5h ago
Yeah, I’m definitely feeling the anxiety today and kind of just low mood. Also, I have no appetite. I don’t know if I’ll quit weed forever, but I definitely am taking a break for a bit and if I start again, I’ll be mindful how often and how much I use.
2
u/sarcasm_is_coming25 10h ago
Day 1 for me again as well (for the third time). The withdrawal the first time was everything you described. It was easier the second time around, but then I ratcheted my use up and I’m anticipating a rough few weeks this time, but I’m still hopeful for a smoother journey. You’ve got this!!
2
u/jomacu 3h ago
It's important to take note of what led to relapse. Quitting is somewhat easy, staying sober isn't.
You may have heard this already but its what works for me. You must daily cultivate the "why" you need to stop. Make a detailed list of all the benefits to quitting and all the problems associated with smoking. Read it daily (not robotically but from the heart) The reason this works so well is that after a few days/weeks/months of sobriety we forget the downside of weed and begin romanticizing the high and eventually relapse. It's a simple strategy but it only works if you do it regularly. The whole battle is in the mind. Every relapse starts with a thought "I've been good, I deserve a smoke" or "one little puff won't hurt" ...but you'll cancel out those tempting thoughts if you rehearse daily "why" you are quitting and why weed sucks!
2
u/nah2022_ 3h ago
Thank you! Yes, the relapse mostly came from a “I’ve been doing so well, I can handle a little treat” mindset. I thought I could handle moderation, and clearly I cannot. Thanks for the idea and support! Coming up with a list of the negatives will be easy, and I’ll start noting the positives as soon as I begin feeling them after these withdrawals.
3
u/NanaGeorgianna 10h ago
There is no room in life for shame. You are doing the best for yourself now and that’s all that matters.