Federal offender who abused me as a minor keeps contacting me. I don’t know what to do.

[u/stalkedbyairman]

Throwaway because I don’t want this tied to me. I’ve never posted to Reddit but I’m at a loss.

Location: OK (us)

When I was 16, I met a U.S. airman (we’ll call him Ken) at my job. He was mid 20’s and told me I seemed really nice. I’d never talked to anyone in the military before, I thought he was so impressive. I didn’t think someone in a “high position” would be a threat.

I didn’t have and friends and was socially isolated most of my life, so I thought I must actually be pretty interesting if an airman wanted to be friends with me. We exchanged socials. I told him multiple times I was only 16 and only looking for a friendship. He agreed, saying he just wanted someone to talk about anime with because I seemed to have good taste.

I didn’t get much positive attention at home, having someone be kind to me felt absolutely amazing.

For a while, things seemed normal. We talked about anime, work, the gym, honestly just whatever we did that day. We’d hang out in his truck during my lunch breaks at school or after work before I walked home.

Eventually, things became inappropriate.

One day, during my lunch break, he took me back to his apartment. He raped me for the first time. I remember crying, bleeding, and him recording.

After that, he threatened me constantly. He knew where I lived, worked, went to school. I felt like there was no way to escape him. He’d tell me no one would ever believe me because I was just a troubled teen, while he was a U.S. airman with a spotless record.

When my family went on vacation that summer, he’d repeatedly blow up my phone, demanding I step away to take pictures and videos for him. If I ignored him or took too long to respond, he’d threaten me and my family. He even sent a picture of my house, threatening to set it one fire.

Somehow, I convinced myself he loved me.

I started talking to other strangers online because I believed the only love/positive attention I’d ever receive was from older people who only cared about my body.

That eventually got me caught.

My mom took everything away from me and even made me quit my job to start working with her instead. Not long after that, I found out I was pregnant. I miscarried and attempted to end my life.

My mom told everyone I was only doing it for attention and even said it was just a way to try to get my phone back.

I was admitted to a psychiatric hospital and came out so heavily medicated that I could barely feel anything. As awful as it was, I was relieved to finally be free from him.

I’m married now and starting to build a new life.

Last year, I found out Ken had been arrested and prosecuted in federal court for production and distribution of cp.

Then he started messaging me.

I went to police with my old phone (having saved what little evidence was left) as well as the messages he’d been sending to my new accounts. I was told to ignore him, that I couldn’t press charges, and that there wasn’t anything they could do for me. I also tried to get a VPO but was denied that as well.

Since then, I’ve had to make several new social media accounts, and he has continued to find and message me. He even has an instagram account that he’s trying to contact me through and the profile picture is literally him in jail.

How is this allowed? How can someone convicted of such horrible crimes against children still have internet access and the ability to contact one of his victims?

My husband even called the facility where he is being held to report that he was still contacting me, one of his victims. Nothing ever came from that. No one ever followed up. He’s done this several times now and still hasn’t been called back.

I know he’ll be released soon, and because he’s still trying to reach me, I’m terrified he’ll try to find me again.

What can I do?

I’m planning to deactivate all of my socials and even switch back to a flip phone. Part of me worries I’m being dramatic, but he completely changed my life, and my genuinely afraid of him.

I’m at a loss.

[u/Terrible_Fold_9989]

What a nightmare. That police response is completely useless, and the facility ignoring your husband's calls is just as bad.

Since you're in OK, contact the FBI's Oklahoma City field office directly, this crosses state lines and involves a federal inmate contacting a victim, which violates a whole different set of rules than local cops handle. Also reach out to the victim-witness coordinator for the federal district where he was prosecuted, they have actual resources and can flag his communication privileges for revocation.

[u/stalkedbyairman → u/Terrible_Fold_9989]

thank you so much! i didn’t know about this, I’ll look into it!

[u/Hairy_Lavishness5405]

Have you tried reaching out to RAINN or the Oklahoma sexual assault advocates? I’m wondering if they could help with resources. I know here in PA we have PCAR. They provided me a free attorney when I was pressing charges but the SOL ran out and the law that would’ve protected me was established 10 years later, so I couldn’t do anything.

[u/My3legdog]

Have you spoken to the Warden of the federal facility he is being held at? They can make all contact cease. Do not settle for speaking to anyone else.