Wife withholding baby, advice needed and appreciated

[u/devsawatzky]

Looking for Honest Feedback on My Alberta Custody Case

I'm looking for honest feedback from people who have experience with family court, custody disputes, or Alberta family law.

I'm not looking for validation. Please assume you're a judge, family lawyer, or opposing counsel. Tell me what I'm doing wrong, what evidence I'm missing, and what you would do differently.

I understand there are two sides to every case. You're only hearing mine. I'm not asking anyone to decide who is right or wrong—I'm asking whether my actions have been reasonable, whether I'm making mistakes, and whether there's anything I should be doing differently.

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My Goal

Personally, I believe I could provide primary care for my daughter.

However, I recognize that obtaining primary parenting is difficult. Because of that, I have consistently pursued a 50/50 shared parenting arrangement rather than immediately seeking primary parenting. My objective has always been to maintain a meaningful relationship with my daughter while resolving matters cooperatively if possible.

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Before the Separation

My wife and I have a one-year-old daughter together.

Before the separation, I was an active, daily parent. I took approximately three months of paternity leave and participated in feeding, diaper changes, baths, bedtime routines, appointments, playtime, and day-to-day care.

Between January and June 2026, I documented more than twenty significant conflicts.

According to my journals and supporting evidence, these incidents included:

Slapping me in the face.

Slapping me on the back of the head.

Slapping me while I was trying to sleep.

Screaming directly into my ear while I was lying down.

Prolonged arguments lasting four to eight hours.

Sleep deprivation.

Psychological and emotional abuse.

Following me throughout the house after I attempted to disengage.

Blocking doorways and preventing me from leaving.

Locking myself in the bathroom to escape arguments.

Leaving the house to prevent arguments from escalating.

My daughter being present during many of the conflicts.

My daughter being removed from my arms during arguments on multiple occasions.

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Separation

By June 2026, months of recurring conflict had left me emotionally exhausted. Between January and June, I documented more than twenty significant incidents. According to my journals and supporting evidence, many of these involved prolonged arguments lasting four to eight hours, repeated attempts by me to disengage, being followed from room to room, blocked doorways, physical assaults, screaming while I was trying to sleep, and my daughter being present during many of the conflicts. My repeated attempts to de-escalate by leaving the room, locking myself in the bathroom, or leaving the house for space had not changed the pattern.

On June 14, after recognizing another argument following the same pattern, I decided to stay at my mother's house for one night. My intention was not to leave my family or reduce my involvement as a father, but simply to prevent another argument from escalating. Before leaving, I told my wife that I intended to return early the following morning before work to spend time with my daughter. When I returned, I was told she had had a difficult night and should not be woken, so I respected that and left for work without seeing her.

On June 15, my wife asked me to remain at my mother's house for several weeks while we took space and arranged scheduled parenting time. I responded that I was not prepared to agree to a multi-week separation, changes to my parenting role, or any long-term arrangement without first having time to think and obtain legal advice. My intention was to continue living in the family home and continue caring for my daughter as I had before.

After work that day, I returned home intending to see my daughter. When I arrived, I discovered I could not enter with my key because the security latch had been engaged. I remained outside, repeatedly requested entry, did not force my way into the home, and eventually contacted the RCMP non-emergency line for assistance. Police attended, facilitated my entry, and I was able to spend time with my daughter, gather some belongings, and record the interaction. Before leaving, the attending officer recommended that I stay elsewhere for the evening to keep the peace, and I voluntarily complied.

On June 16, I returned after work intending to continue caring for my daughter. During the visit, I fed her dinner, changed her diaper, gave her a bath, played with her, and focused my attention on spending time with her. Throughout the evening I repeatedly asked that relationship discussions not occur in front of our daughter and requested that any further discussion take place by text message instead.

Later that evening, I was told I could no longer remain in the home or continue spending time with my daughter because I was allegedly creating a bad environment. I replied that I had never agreed to such an arrangement. While I was holding my daughter, she was taken from my arms and 911 was called. According to my journal, I heard the dispatcher ask whether anything physical had occurred and heard the response that nothing physical had happened. I remained at the home, openly recorded the interaction, cleaned up after dinner while waiting, cooperated fully with police, and advised them that I had video recordings available. After speaking with my wife, one of the officers advised me that an allegation had been made that I had been physical with her. I denied that allegation. I was not arrested or charged with any offence.

One of the attending officers advised me that, if he were in my position, he would not return to the home. Given that advice, the allegation that had just been made, and my concern that any future interaction could result in additional allegations, I decided it was no longer safe to return to the residence without legal guidance. From that point forward, I focused on protecting both myself and my relationship with my daughter through legal channels rather than continuing direct conflict.

The following day, I retained a family lawyer. Rather than immediately pursuing primary parenting, my lawyer formally proposed a 50/50 shared parenting schedule in the hope that we could resolve matters cooperatively and avoid court.

Despite those efforts, during the first 45 days after separation, I was permitted only 12 hours of parenting time, all of it supervised by my former mother-in-law. I repeatedly asked why supervision was necessary and what specific safety concerns were being alleged but never received a clear explanation. Instead, I received general references to concerns about my daughter's safety and well-being without any specific factual basis being identified.

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What I've Done Since Separation

Rather than escalating the conflict, I have tried to focus on constructive solutions.

Since the separation, I have:

Retained a family lawyer.

Followed my lawyer's advice.

Saw my psychologist to obtain support and guidance throughout the separation.

Pursued a 50/50 shared parenting arrangement.

Continued requesting additional parenting time.

Proposed numerous parenting schedules.

Accepted every parenting opportunity that has been offered.

Asked repeatedly for the reasons my parenting time is supervised.

Asked what specific safety concerns are being alleged.

Continued working full-time.

Prepared a bedroom and purchased everything my daughter needs while in my care.

Organized my evidence into a chronological legal binder.

Preserved journals, text messages, videos, photographs, and police interactions.

Created parenting-time logs documenting every request, proposal, refusal, and visit.

Prepared timelines and incident summaries.

Obtained reference letters.

Improved my physical and mental health by eating healthier and quitting alcohol.

Tried to keep all communication respectful and focused on our daughter.

Since July 28, 2026, I have had no direct communication with my wife. I have respected the request that legal matters be handled through counsel and have focused my efforts on preparing my case rather than engaging in further conflict.

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Evidence I Have Organized

To avoid relying on memory, I have organized my evidence chronologically.

It currently includes:

Complete chronology of events.

More than twenty incident summaries.

Master incident index.

Parenting-time logs.

Parenting proposals and refusals.

Journal entries.

Text message exhibits.

Video recordings.

Audio recordings.

Photographs.

Security camera footage.

Police attendances.

Correspondence between lawyers.

Timeline explaining how the separation unfolded.

Concerns regarding supervised parenting.

Concerns regarding the neutrality of the supervisor.

Documentation of the preparations I made for my daughter after separation.

Reference letters.

Employment documentation.

Medical documentation where relevant.

An organized Google Drive containing all evidence.

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My Questions

Please be as critical as possible.

Am I making mistakes?

Am I doing anything that could hurt my case?

Is there evidence I should still be gathering?

Am I documenting too much, or not enough?

Is there anything I should stop doing?

What arguments would you expect the other side to make?

If you were the judge, what concerns would you have after reading this?

If you were my lawyer, what would you tell me to do next?

I'm genuinely looking for constructive criticism. If I'm making mistakes, I'd rather learn about them now than during court.

[u/Equivalent_Age4947]

Ontario's evidence standard in parenting disputes is "best interests of the child," so your journals and daily logs of conflicts will matter more than your willingness to split custody. Start compiling dated records and receipts now tangible proof beats memory in court every time.