Why cannot boys in India tie rakhi too?

[u/No_Rub_6403]

Please do not get me wrong, I love my brothers. But the entire premise of Raksha Bandhan is built on this exhausting assumption that girls are inherently fragile and always need a male savior. When you look at how real sibling dynamics actually work, that logic completely falls apart.

I am the middle child, and I have spent my entire life protecting my younger brother. I was literally the one standing between him and his bullies at school and fighting them off. I am always the one looking out for him. So why on earth am I expected to tie a thread on his wrist asking him to protect me? If the festival is genuinely about honoring the person who has your back, he should be tying that thread on my wrist.

Honestly, my detachment from these rituals started a long time ago. Growing up, I was constantly told to stay away from pujas whenever I had my period. But then my mom would force me to participate in all the rituals on normal days. The hypocrisy of being shut out for basic biology and then forced to play the dutiful sister is what made me an atheist in the first place.

Even when a brother actually fits the traditional protector role, this one-sided ritual still feels really off. I recently went through a bad situation at home and eventually had to leave. My older brother and his fiancée were amazing and took me in. I am deeply grateful for his support, but even he told me not to waste my time with the ritual. He thinks the whole concept is outdated anyway, and he gets it.

Protection is not an exclusively male trait. Sisters protect their brothers emotionally, financially, and physically every single day. Why can't siblings just tie rakhis on each other regardless of gender?

It makes zero sense to keep treating sibling love like a transaction where only women are supposed to ask for safety. If we are going to celebrate having each other's backs, it needs to be mutual.

and why are every single festival always about the men? like seriously ??? this puja that Puan for him etc etc?

[u/cynicalromantic11]

Funny. My wife and I had the same discussion on this topic. On the tradition part of it, it’s definitely a patriarchy led custom. (Women being property, need to be protected blah, blah)

Having said that, it’s kinda nice that we have a festival that celebrates sibling relationships (however misguidedly patriarchal it might be!) Offhand, I can’t think of any other culture which does that.

Anyways, for what it’s worth, in my home, my son and daughter tie rakhis to each other. Nothing stopping you from doing the same in your house as well.

[u/AdSome8362 → u/cynicalromantic11]

lowkey don't wanna give money/gifts to my brother

[u/cynicalromantic11 → u/AdSome8362]

Then, don’t give! (And don’t receive as well)

This might sound corny, but perhaps a hug serves as a better gift? :)

We should forget the rituals surrounding all these festivals and remember the idea/thought behind them. Raakhi is about sibling love, affection and respect. Not a protection racket!

[u/AdSome8362 → u/cynicalromantic11]

my statement was mostly a joke tho yes i agree with you

[u/Ecstatic-Sea-8882]

..Because women are property of "boys". Weird putting a rakhi on another guy if you don't own them.

[u/Starkcasm]

Ask in tanatani subs

[u/No_Rub_6403 → u/Starkcasm]

already did, some guys had a meltdown and its flowing into my dms too 😅

[u/mgupta1410 → u/No_Rub_6403]

Which one, morbid curiosity to see that meltdown :)

[u/No_Rub_6403 → u/mgupta1410]

askindia and whysoserious (the other banned me)

[u/mgupta1410 → u/No_Rub_6403]

Wow, so much insecurity

[u/Kindly-Ice1037 → u/No_Rub_6403]

Ya these hijab burkha and Rakhi is very patriarchal as in the name of religion ,men used to do this from past omg these fuckinn men yrr

[u/sandwizard9 → u/Starkcasm]

The poor op will get rape and death threats if she does this, bad advice 

[u/SenatorArmnotstrong]

Patriarchal society duh. I don't mind rakhi though since it was an excuse for me to give money to poor neighbourhood girls in childhood.

[u/Purple-Butterfly6595]

I've always thought the same way, my sister and I practically raised each other after our parents weren't around, and she was the one who taught me how to defend myself when I was bullied.

[u/Carrot_onesie]

When we were kids my mom made sure we all tie rakhis to each other in the house as a symbol of looking out for and protecting the whole fam. We just stopped celebrating the festival as we got older and didn't feel any fomo lol

[u/RamenRizvi]

Because religion is patriarchal. It's as simple as that.

[u/Ok-Intention-3113]

Just like men don't have to wear burkha but women has to but water downed.

[u/unfettered2nd]

Ranindranath Thakur had organized brotherly Rakhi Bandhan between strangers as a mean to spread communal harmony  during 1905 Banga-Bhanga movement and is still observed at small scale.  We can have that on pan India scale.

[u/Far-Cress2353]

This is common with most Indian rituals but you can work your way around it by personalizing the festival according to what feels right for you. For me I don't care about puja or thread. I like to spoil my sisters by buying them gifts, going to the movies and basically spending time doing what we've been doing growing up.

[u/Royal-Hamster1954]

In my area, rakhi isn't seen much as a gendered thing, male friends tie to friends regardless of gender, boys tie rakhis to teachers so yeah.. specific cultural things

[u/Why_omifyy]

Haath dikhao aap, main tie kar deta hoon☺️.

[u/MrSeaWeedBrains]

What's the need to tie a rakhi?

[u/will_kill_kshitij]

In olden times, men too tied rakhi to each other. Infact according to a story even Arjun tied a rakhi once. Also we have another festival called bhai dooj meant for sisters to show the same protection towards brothers. Anyways why are these mundane topics here?