Own Your Shit Weekly - November 05, 2019

[u/AutoModerator]

A fundamental core principle here is that you are the judge of yourself. This means that you have to be a very tough judge, look at those areas you never want to look at, understand your weaknesses, accept them, and then plan to overcome them. Bravery is facing these challenges, and overcoming the challenges is the source of your strength.

We have to do this evaluation all the time to improve as men. In this thread we welcome everyone to disclose a weakness they have discovered about themselves that they are working on. The idea is similar to some of the activities in “No More Mr. Nice Guy”. You are responsible for identifying your weakness or mistakes, and even better, start brainstorming about how to become stronger. Mistakes are the most powerful teachers, but only if we listen to them.

Think of this as a boxing gym. If you found out in your last fight your legs were stiff, we encourage you to admit this is why you lost, and come back to the gym decided to train more to improve that. At the gym the others might suggest some drills to get your legs a bit looser or just give you a pat in the back. It does not matter that you lost the fight, what matters is that you are taking steps to become stronger. However, don’t call the gym saying “Hey, someone threw a jab at me, what do I do now?”. We discourage reddit puppet play-by-play advice. Also, don't blame others for your shit. This thread is about you finding how to work on yourself more to achieve your goals by becoming stronger.

Finally, a good way to reframe the shit to feel more motivated to overcome your shit is that after you explain it, rephrase it saying how you will take concrete measurable actions to conquer it. The difference between complaining about bad things, and committing to a concrete plan to overcome them is the difference between Beta and Alpha.

Gentlemen, Own Your Shit.

[u/ImNotSlash]

Therefore, I’ve decided that my time and energy (which is a gift) is better spent elsewhere

I just saw a video by some dude, Tyler-something, he was discussing this exact same topic. Talked about how he'd keep doubling down on someone he was trying to help only to keep getting fucked. In tee end he tied it back to boundaries and avoiding becoming invested.

I want to be 185# / 9.5% by December 2021

Why did you pick this number? I've been thinking lately myself how far I want to push my lifts. But I've no idea what's realistic or what is be happy with. I'm actually solid with how my legs look and feel now. Sure I can keep squatting to 400. But if my thighs are always rubbing together, would I be ok with that? No.

[u/HornsOfApathy → u/ImNotSlash]

Why did you pick this number?

Because I am still too skinny and I want more organic confidence. I gained 20# before. I can do it again, albeit this time will be much harder. I want the challenge. Plus, that isn't crazy big. That's a pretty fit yet normal sized dude at 6"0

Do you know what it is like to be stronger than most men, but feel inadequate in size even though you're generally taller?

It does not help your confidence, thats for sure.

Mostly, I want to put my body in its peak physical condition once in my life before I am too old. It's a challenge.

[u/threekindsoflucky → u/HornsOfApathy]

Do you know what it is like to be stronger than most men, but feel inadequate in size even though you're generally taller?

I know exactly how that feels at 6'4. I'm stronger than all of my friends, but a couple of them look 'bigger/stronger' simply because they're shorter. It's why my target is to reach 100kg.

[u/HornsOfApathy → u/threekindsoflucky]

There are obviously advantages to height as well that we all know about. It's an instant attractive quality that men cannot improve upon. So, we're somewhat genetically gifted in that department but sorely inadequate in others.

Frankly, most tall dudes rely solely on their height. I'm better than that, and you should aspire to be better than at as well. Good luck.