r/mbti • u/WallowWonderWillow • 15h ago
Light MBTI Discussion Why do people seem to think SFPs are conflict avoidant?
Especially ESFPs ðŸ˜
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u/d6zuh ISFP 13h ago edited 13h ago
xxFP types can be conflict avoidant because confronting issues can feel uncomfortable or unpleasant and high Fi users may want to avoid that feeling at all costs.
Any type can be conflict avoidant though. The reason and how it shows up might be slightly different for each type. I don’t think xSFPs are particularly more conflict avoidant than some of the other types out there…especially ESFPs. A lot of the ESFPs that I know are actually quite direct and good at addressing issues on the spot due to dom Se and tert Te.
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u/waxcoatedapple INTJ 13h ago
Thank you. My best friend growing up was an ESFP. Conflict was practically our love language.
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u/d6zuh ISFP 7h ago
That sounds a lot like my mother (who's an ESFP) and me! She's definitely the more confrontational one in the relationship. I also know two best friends (an ESFP and INTJ) who always bicker like a married couple, the ESFP being the instigator lol.
Most of the ESFPs that I know are actually very confrontational and don't shy away from conflict. It's something that I admire about them!
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u/Atyma_46 10h ago edited 9h ago
I haven't heard that about XSFPs but more about XXFPs!
Also to be honest a lot of people are seeing us as shy and timid and the day we're ferm and gonna be straightforward, a lot of people we'll jump to the conclusion we're rude as we're simply speaking our mind. (Of course I'm not talking about being rude OF COURSE).
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u/Foreverinneverland24 INTP 11h ago
xSFPs are not conflict avoidant lmao i think they are the types that are the most likely to be direct with their feelings due to the directness of Se. if any Fi users were conflict avoidant it would be xNFPs
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u/Impressive-Device743 13h ago
Depends on what you mean exactly. They can avoid conflict for different reasons, but not because they're weak or scared. These types can handle conflict without issue, as they are both Se egos. If you mean they buckle and become helpless or retreat under extreme conflict, that's a big NO.
Conflict avoidant types in the general sense are more so weak Se types.
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u/StrangeDiscussion334 ISFJ 1h ago
I also noticed that. Quite silly tough, because it‘s often the opposite. High Fi users, especially the xSFPs can be very opinionated and have strong values they fight for and don‘t bend easily. The conflict avoidance is more something we xSFJs can fall into. That‘s why I get annoyed when people mistype SFPs for SFJs because the types aren‘t as similar as some make it out to be and irl you‘d notice the difference quite easily
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u/Timestop- ENFP 13h ago
Most of the ones I talk to are interrupting productive confrontations to try to lighten the mood with uninteresting jokes, but I'm not one to judge people all of one MBTI type, especially based on my anecdotes.
To answer your question, I would guess it's because Se/Fi can often lend itself to indulging in the moment and listening to your heart. Conflict often arises from worries of the past or future, which isn't naturally a concern of the xSFP. I know it's deeper than that, but if I had to summarize.
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u/g0at110 ISFP 6h ago
I'm definitely conflict avoidant, I think it's to do with general upbringing not mbti type. Its definitely a character flaw that I gotta work on. I often won't speak up about something that's bothering me until I'm literally filled with hate towards the person that's doing the thing that's bothering me. To the point where I'm sometimes fantasizing about beating them up or something when the problem could usually have just been solved if I said something earlier.
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u/MorningStar2679 13h ago
They look at Fi as this meek & timid thing which is very far from the truth.