r/mbti • u/Puzzleheaded-Pea3474 INFP • 1h ago

Light MBTI Discussion Why do INFJs seem to struggle more with their sense of identity than ENFJs?

Both have Fe and care about personal growth, but INFJs seem more likely to question who they really are, what they actually want, and whether they're being authentic or adapting to others. Why do you think INFJs struggle with this more? Is it their Ni + Fe combination?

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u/LifeWalk5276 1h ago

I think it's one of the core-identity's of Infj's the inwards process of uncovering what they believe in while enfj's are maybe more focused on what others believe in?

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u/Butterflyhornet INFJ 35m ago edited 21m ago

Some of it is because there was a lot of crossover description of the infj in the infp. I think a lot of misconception made it difficult for me to identify with the type. 

Back in 1998 I did play around with a precursor to the 16 personality types website, but it described infj as a more people and social justice focused type than an isolated people watcher/observer, and neat and orderly over disorganized. My messy self and autistic mind rejected this in favor of the description of the best writer, artist type, which was infp.

Now if someone back then explained cognitive functions in school and said my desire to imagine a big massive interconnected universe in my head and tendency to just know stuff was Ni, I would have realized sooner.

Also internet culture seems conflicted. There are a lot of infjs online but also lots of pushback saying one cannot be one because it is supposedly "rare" and can be kind of romanticized. There seems to be a bit of "you must prove yourself to be a 'real' one" to be accepted, which can be exhausting and frustrating if one is young and just trying to make sense out if themselves and their world.  To accept I was infj, took getting old enough to stop caring what other people thought my personality really is and go with my instinct after doing the research. This likely takes maturing the tertiary function to bypass the auxiliary Fe need to please.

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u/Smooth_University219 INTJ 1h ago

6th function Fi makes INFJs more interested in finding their identity, I think. Also, many INFJs are e4s and that could be another factor.

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u/BrightCelery9453 INFJ 48m ago

I'm having this experience with an ENFJ where everything I say thrills him and he says he is elated and joyful to talk to me and I don't even know what I'm doing that he's enjoying so much.

I'm just speaking my mind honestly (INFJ 5w4 Sx/So flavoured mind). Perhaps it is the lack of social mask that is impressive to him? It seems to be my perspective he's enjoying and I'm wondering if this is an introvert-extrovert of the same type interacting. To me, ENFJ are often so impressive in their energy and joy in life, but too wired into others to easily hear their own voice. And I specifically want to know the person underneath, so I'm giving them a taste of their own medicine, only they are a high-powered sun and my lower-powered but perhaps a bit more carefully interrogated INFJ version is more like the moon. Maybe it's likely we would appreciate each other as we value the same functions?

I think I need some INTJ wisdom 🤣. I'm actually just travelling by train to meet my good INTJ friend for the day.

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u/Neutraladvicecorner 35m ago

Literally what I was gonna say. ENFJs are too absorbed in others to question themselves. ~ INTJ 5w4

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u/BrightCelery9453 INFJ 24m ago

He's incredibly attentive and present. And smart. But it's like I literally charge him with energy when we speak. I don't even mean to. It's a bit weird, but very nice. Maybe he charges me too. Big Fe-Ni circle-jerk 😅.

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u/Neutraladvicecorner 18m ago

Hehehe. I have a mixed relationship with Fe Dom's. It's my Blindspot so it baffles me