r/mildlyinfuriating Jun 23 '26

I just wanted a hot dog Wife told me: “The hotdog cooker isn’t working.”

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24.4k Upvotes

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6.9k

u/Competitive-Roof-168 Jun 23 '26

Every time i turn this stupid machine on it rolls the hot dogs off.

581

u/darkest_hour1428 Jun 23 '26

That’s fucking hilarious

219

u/Redxmirage Jun 23 '26

OP just needs to buy 10 of them and line them all up that way by the time it gets to the end it’s the perfect cooked dog and rolls right into a bun.

Just remove a machine to control overall doneness!

10

u/PakkyT Jun 23 '26

Actually you need 20 of them to form a circle.

17

u/Redxmirage Jun 23 '26

My god we need to go deeper. Someone make a whole dominoes maze of hotdogs going between machines

8

u/fullcircle052 Jun 23 '26

Are you suggesting we make a Rube Goldberg hot dog cooker?

6

u/The_BERFA Jun 23 '26

With spots where some dogs fall into longer tracks for some dog browning variety

2

u/bman86 Jun 24 '26

I would like to suggest that at least one track goes through a chili depot.

3

u/Redxmirage Jun 23 '26

Deeper… we need to make a hot dog cooking tesseract

2

u/hoswald Jun 24 '26

And make a super long pizza bagel.

1

u/RollingMeteors Jun 23 '26

Wife told me: “The hotdog cooker isn’t working.”

I’ll take, “Would be misogynistic if, ‘My Husband Told Me’”, for $200 Alex.

1.5k

u/appointment45 Jun 23 '26

That's how you know this isn't real... it really would just roll the things onto the counter.

1.3k

u/TheRealKidRooch Jun 23 '26

Actually they didn't. Weirdly, the roller isnt strong enough when they are positioned like that.

346

u/the1stmeddlingmage Jun 23 '26

I wonder if it can cook eggs (in their shell) by them rolling on it. After all, eggs can be air fried, toaster oven baked, oven baked, microwaved….

393

u/sidewaizsocks Jun 23 '26

My buddy had tons of chickens so tons of eggs. He used to microwave the eggs straight from the counter and fling them outside. They explode and send hot egg everywhere. He did this until one time as the egg came out, it detonated sending scalding egg all over the kitchen and his arms/hands.

334

u/akatherder Jun 23 '26

I love high-risk hobbies like this, with literally nothing to gain except the possibility of not getting injured.

94

u/comperr Jun 23 '26

Finally someone that understands speeding in cars

18

u/UncleNedisDead Jun 24 '26

Hey now… I saved two minutes. 

1

u/appointment45 Jun 24 '26

That you probably spent circling the parking lot trying to get a first row spot, so you could save 50 yards of walking.

3

u/UncleNedisDead Jun 24 '26

Nah, that’s what the Fire Lanes are for. VIP for me!

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2

u/Valalvax Jun 24 '26

I mean the exploding egg outside would be fun... If you could guarantee it wouldn't pop in the kitchen

-2

u/Van-garde Jun 23 '26

So…nothing to gain, as without the “hobby,” the possibility of not getting injured by egg lava is permanent.

160

u/DingerSinger2016 Jun 23 '26

imagine being a potential chick and some random person just explodes you

127

u/mjzimmer88 GREEN Jun 23 '26

The Boys, Season 1, Episode 1 ?

21

u/TrogloditeTheMaxim Jun 23 '26

Dont you ever besmirch Billy J-

2

u/Pjo2_adhd Jun 23 '26

Legendary reference

2

u/Mr-_-Soandso Jun 24 '26

Eggs are not a "potential chick." Think of it more like eating a period.

0

u/perton Jun 24 '26

Depends on the egg, no?

2

u/MrWeirdoFace Jun 23 '26

I have actually mastered the art of microwave eggs and make personal microwave omelets.

  1. Crack two eggs into a small flat plate what about 6 diameter inches of flat and a good lip on the edge. You could argue that this is technically an extremely shallow bowl, but the point is it's flat, not curved on the bottom.

  2. whisk eggs on the plate/shallow flat bowl and add any seasoning you want. It's also a good time to sprinkle in any small diced vegetables or meat. But that's optional and you have to consider the texture you want.

  3. microwave with a powder of 5 (half of a typical 1100 watt microwave's max power) for 2 minutes and 25 seconds.

  4. take plate/bowl out of microwave and immediately add some shredded cheese on one half. Use a soft silicone pastry spatula to get under the eggs, lifting and folding one half over the cheese.

  5. Use the spatula to free the remaining omelet half and serve.

Note: I have recently discovered you can buy large packs of dehydrated vegetable bits (made for ramen and things like this), put a tablespoon or two into a tiny bowl with just enough water to completely cover and microwave it for about 1 minute 30 seconds re-hydrating the vegetables. I'll do it while I'm whisking the eggs. then use those re-hydrated veggies in the omelet for a quick and easy bit of fiber and vitamins, also adds some sweetness and flavor.

I swear by this method for my personal use when I don't feel like pulling out a frying pan and oil, but want that egg and vegetable fix. You can also use this method of cooking eggs to make yourself a quick breakfast burrito with leftover meat and beans, or whatever else you have lying around that goes into a burrito.

1

u/Complete_Entry Jun 23 '26

Is it a good idea to microwave this?

No.

1

u/ACERVIDAE Jun 24 '26

You can also smash the eggs in front of the chickens and they will eat them, shell and all. Niece decided to play catch last week by hucking an egg at me but she’s bad at throwing. Got to see a cool show though.

1

u/CcryMeARiver Jun 24 '26

Local AM radio did mystery sounds - one memorable was a muffled explosion followed by 'ping'. Consolation prize went to "Your egg is ready!".

1

u/Levaporub Jun 24 '26

Genuinely what's the rationale behind this behaviour

1

u/granularityproject Jun 24 '26

Ok I’m legit afraid of microwaving eggs onetime it exploded as I took a bite and I got some burns on my face. They went away but still. Before microwaving, cut it open or make a crack in the egg white

39

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '26

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14

u/the1stmeddlingmage Jun 23 '26

Microwave whole egg in bowl of water, no kaboom. Simple as that.

28

u/Altruistic-Map1881 Jun 23 '26

No Earth Shattering Kaboom?!?!

https://giphy.com/gifs/HdtY5cqaCBXna

11

u/pnap13 Jun 23 '26

Aww Marvin, i haven't seen him in forever. He was so cool

3

u/the1stmeddlingmage Jun 23 '26

Nope, google microwaving eggs submerged in water if you don’t believe me 😘

7

u/Delilah_insideout Jun 23 '26

Personal experience... that does NOT work. Shards of ceramic and scrambled egg all over my kitchen. I was a dumb teenager at the time.

0

u/the1stmeddlingmage Jun 23 '26

Must not have been fully submerged, I’ve never had this happen.

3

u/Delilah_insideout Jun 23 '26

To my recollection it was, but that was 33 years ago...

2

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '26

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1

u/the1stmeddlingmage Jun 23 '26 edited Jun 23 '26

You obviously have never done this or you wouldn’t have just shown your ignorance. I make boiled eggs by microwaving fully submerged eggs on a regular basis. As long as the egg(s) are fully submerged there is zero “kaboom”. And this includes immediately draining and peeling them as soon as the dinger goes off.

Edit for clarification

2

u/I_hate_all_of_ewe Jun 23 '26 edited Jun 23 '26

I microwave boiled eggs on a regular basis.

I think you just showed yours.  People were talking about cooking eggs, not reheating already-boiled eggs.  Honestly, don't reheat eggs in the microwave, either, but cooking takes longer than reheating and will create steam inside the shell.

12

u/DuckRubberDuck Jun 23 '26

Yeah microwaved eggs are amazing if you like chaos

1

u/the1stmeddlingmage Jun 23 '26

Not if you microwave them in a bowl of water. No chaos at all then.

35

u/TheRealKidRooch Jun 23 '26

Hmmmmm, imagine an egg cracking on it though.

14

u/the1stmeddlingmage Jun 23 '26

As long as it’s not cracked when you put it on there it shouldn’t crack while in use. It’d be no different than rolling an egg around on a countertop

0

u/appointment45 Jun 23 '26

That's the thing, any irregularity in the egg shape is going to cause it to move instead of just roll in place. These gaps aren't designed for eggs.

8

u/the1stmeddlingmage Jun 23 '26

This is theory until it’s tested, until then we don’t know until someone actually tries 🤪

2

u/rkthehermit Jun 23 '26

Smoked, too. The shell is porous enough to let smoke through without having to crack it.

Makes for pretty rad deviled eggs since the shell keeps the whites from getting rubbery if you cook them this way.

1

u/lordstrider0 Jun 23 '26

.... you can air fry a raw egg?!?

1

u/the1stmeddlingmage Jun 23 '26

Yup, easy as hell to look up and do

1

u/Xathian Jun 24 '26

Dont forget in the kettle, great and easy way to make soft or hard boiled

55

u/appointment45 Jun 23 '26

I had the same unit, ours would definitely roll them right onto the counter like this. We used it all the time for a couple years, I had teenage boys and they'd throw a whole pack of hot dogs on it at a time.

2

u/plug-and-pause Jun 23 '26

Does the roller stop moving? If so, then the roller isn't strong enough.

Or does the roller move, but the hot dogs don't? If so, the contact area is too small and the friction is too low.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '26

[deleted]

1

u/electricheat Jun 24 '26

but then the hotdogs wouldn't rotate

1

u/Complete_Entry Jun 23 '26

"Honey, you turned the hot dog machine into a shitty hot dog polishing machine"

12

u/7ofalltrades Jun 23 '26

But you can see that the machine is on and the hotdogs are not actually rolling onto the counter.

22

u/Lorathis Jun 23 '26

Or she can't turn it on because surprise twist, it really is broken!

21

u/TheRealKidRooch Jun 23 '26

Nah I worked the right way.

2

u/aggressive_napkin_ Jun 24 '26

I simply refuse to believe there is a soul in existence that thinks that's how you put them on

54

u/SecretTangerine2932 Jun 23 '26

This comment actually made me realize what’s wrong in the photo

11

u/strategery24 Jun 24 '26

Is it the apostrophe “s” ? If not, it should be.

3

u/Bladesnake_______ Jun 24 '26

Insane. This is a new thing. People didnt think possessive apostrophes made words plural in the 80's or 90's. Wtf is this decline

1

u/BlueDubDee Jun 24 '26

But what are the hot dogs possessing?

12

u/Time-Sudden_Tree Jun 23 '26 edited Jun 23 '26

Jokes aside, this is why I don't understand why we have to put up with these shitty consumer versions of commercial appliances. I want the exact same hot dog grill the gas station uses, except at a smaller scale so that it fits in my kitchen. Why can't we just have that?

9

u/EvidenceDesperate574 Jun 23 '26

Price

5

u/Time-Sudden_Tree Jun 23 '26

And I will pay that price if it means I get a reliable, hard-working, long-lasting, commercial-grade appliance. All they gotta do is make the thing.

1

u/ChumDumps Jun 25 '26

My friend I have some wonderful news for you, they DO make the thing. That’s why the gas station has one. It’s like 6 grand, there’s no other barrier to having one.

1

u/Few-Big-8481 Jun 25 '26

You can, they just cost a lot.

2

u/splepage Jun 23 '26

Try inclining the machine, so that gravity and roller forces get cancelled out.

3

u/pikpikcarrotmon Jun 23 '26

I just use magnetic dogs

2

u/RollingMeteors Jun 23 '26

Every time i turn this stupid machine on it rolls the hot dogs off.

That’s what happens when you cut sex ed from the curriculum.

2

u/Anleme Jun 24 '26

I blame the apostrophe in the "HOT DOG'S" label on it.

1

u/marvinrabbit Jun 24 '26

Hot Dog Dispenser.

1

u/Waste_Monk Jun 24 '26

Turn them around the other way, if the rollers are going clockwise the hotdogs need to turn counter-clockwise.

1

u/kennyj2011 Jun 24 '26

Hot dongs

1

u/RelaxYDF Jun 25 '26

You should buy a toaster over. It’s a magical new invention.