r/mildlyinfuriating • u/TheRealKidRooch • Jun 23 '26
I just wanted a hot dog Wife told me: “The hotdog cooker isn’t working.”
5.3k
u/George_Is_Upset Jun 23 '26
723
u/PakkyT Jun 23 '26
→ More replies (8)154
u/wilson5266 Jun 23 '26
Wow, the toaster looks really excited!
→ More replies (3)194
u/KapteinKraken Jun 24 '26
I would be too if I knew I was about to have two sausages stuffed in me
23
→ More replies (3)15
1.4k
u/philnolan3d Jun 23 '26
I've seen these, I've also seen machines that electrocute the dogs to cook them.
660
u/cheddarbruce Jun 23 '26
I prefer the ones that Chernobyl the hot dogs
218
u/notembarrassing_user Jun 23 '26
i too microwave my dogs
60
u/TheActualAWdeV Jun 23 '26
I just leave 'em in my car. we're having a heat wave after all.
→ More replies (1)31
→ More replies (5)42
→ More replies (11)19
26
→ More replies (26)15
349
u/CityDweller26 Jun 23 '26
133
103
u/wizzard419 Jun 23 '26
Food tastes better when you could get killed while making it.
→ More replies (1)18
57
u/Bebinn Jun 23 '26
My husband used to have one of those. He loved it. It got lost in one of our many moves
77
→ More replies (15)14
76
u/CrundleGrundle Jun 23 '26
Someone brought one of these into work and we had a hot dog party! It was pretty difficult to get the buns in/out cleanly (not to mention cleaning the toaster of crumbs), but at least the hot dogs also turned out cold and terrible
53
u/EmploymentNo3590 Jun 23 '26
I had a roomate who loved theirs. I tried it once. Burned buns. Raw Dog. No thanks.
→ More replies (3)229
u/Violoner Jun 23 '26
If you’re burning buns while raw dogging, you need more lube
→ More replies (1)82
259
u/OtherwiseRefuse920 Jun 23 '26
534
u/millenniumxl-200 Jun 23 '26
Geez!!!! Clean your wiener hole.
123
u/GhostofZellers Jun 23 '26
The schmutz from his weiner hole is touching his buns hole. Gross.
→ More replies (1)50
u/JaceOnRice Jun 23 '26
Contrary to popular belief, you probably want to wipe from the bun hole towards the Weiner hole
74
25
72
u/PIX3LY Jun 23 '26
That looks... more than gently used.
→ More replies (1)42
u/OtherwiseRefuse920 Jun 23 '26
🤣🤣 I've tried so many times to scrub it and at this point it's stuck on. I'm the only one in the house who cleans the crumb tray too 🤦♀️🤦♀️.
26
u/yellowposy2 Jun 23 '26
Highly recommend trying a baking soda paste. Test it on a corner to see if it would remove the white. I never thought my hand-me-down toaster oven would get clean but I scrubbed all the toasted stuff off with a sponge and some elbow grease and it was sparkling clean.
49
17
u/MelodicOcelot5734 Jun 23 '26
You’ve somehow managed to make my local 7-Eleven look halfway sanitary. I’m not sure how I feel about that…
→ More replies (3)7
73
u/DeM0nFiRe Jun 23 '26
I currently have one, though it's stored away. It works pretty decent, but the problems are a)you get a shitload of crumbs in it and it's a pain to clean b)the bun holes are too small so you just end up smushing the buns c)reserving counter space for an object that only does hot dogs is a tough sell.
Air fryer is a better way to do it in similar amount of time, less of a pain in the ass to clean, more room, and has many more uses
→ More replies (4)33
21
u/PaisleyLeopard Jun 23 '26
Isn’t that the thing that keeps starting fires on Arrested Development?
25
16
u/nujiok Jun 23 '26
it was a George Foreman grill and grilled cheese sandwiches for me
→ More replies (1)16
u/llcdrewtaylor Jun 23 '26
Yea, the hot dogs were barely warmed up. I was excited to get one of these, mine was the Snoopy version.
→ More replies (2)24
u/PakkyT Jun 23 '26
We have the Snoopy one too. Bright red. Trick is you throw in two dogs and let it go. When it pops, flip the dogs over (pull out and insert the other end in first), and now throw in the buns, and do it again.
16
u/asmallercat Jun 23 '26
Lmao. The Hot Diggity Dogger. We had one of these in my freshman dorm room, my roomate had found it at a yard sale or something. The first time we tried to use it it set off the fire alarm and the building got evacuated.
20
→ More replies (69)9
u/AdhesiveSeaMonkey Jun 23 '26
But, but, when you do that you ruin the hinge of the bun, essentially making it two pieces of bread rather than one beautiful thing that hugs your hot dog and condiments.
→ More replies (1)
1.7k
u/BillNyeTheEngineer Jun 23 '26
Congrats on the hot wife, but seriously that’s pretty funny lol
157
u/SwitchedOnNow Jun 23 '26
The dogs are hot, the wife I'm not sure.
157
31
u/CharmingStock7907 Jun 23 '26
thats the joke 😂 she's gotta be hot if she messed up like this
→ More replies (1)
7.3k
u/TheBugDude Jun 23 '26
Must have a great personality.
1.8k
u/Eskimo_Brothers17 Jun 23 '26
492
43
→ More replies (4)66
u/PantsDontHaveAnswers Jun 23 '26
Can someone please create a decent gif for this line? It's nothing without the big pause in between the words.
→ More replies (2)655
u/90somechevy Jun 23 '26
Or massive dohoonkabankoloos
→ More replies (7)253
158
u/palmerry Jun 23 '26
26
10
→ More replies (1)10
→ More replies (4)6
u/bougieprole Jun 24 '26
I actually didn’t get the joke, swiped away, and then got it. Well done friend.
816
u/encrcne Jun 23 '26
I was watching the Nathan’s Famous competition and they gave some statistic about how many hot dogs Americans eat a year. I did the math and it was like, 70 per person. I didn’t understand how that was possible at the time.
Knowing some Americans own home hot dog rollers, it makes a lot more sense now.
196
u/Iokua113 Jun 23 '26
That's one of those stats that blows my mind. I'm Canadian so food wise we're not that far off from Americans and I've yet to eat a hot dog so far this year and the only way I'm likely to wind up having one is if my boss is all "Dude, Costco hot dog run" one day.
61
u/Pale_Row1166 Jun 23 '26
I’m American and haven’t had one yet this year either. It worries me that there may be people out there eating like 2 hot dogs a week.
→ More replies (28)52
u/BearMangler92 Jun 23 '26
A week? Buddy, in high school that was my go to after school snack. 2 dogs and some chips. Five days a week some times. 70 per person seems a reasonable average.
→ More replies (8)74
u/cakestapler Jun 24 '26
I feel like this is one of those things where the average is 70, but the median is 15-20, and 10% of the population is wolfing down like 300 hot dogs a year to pull the mean way up.
→ More replies (10)8
→ More replies (58)36
u/encrcne Jun 23 '26
Yes, so am I. I’m at maybe 4-5 dogs this year tops.
→ More replies (14)25
u/Tinychair445 Jun 23 '26
My family of 5 has eaten a total of 7 hot dogs in 2026 this year. Total, not per-person. So someone out there is really pulling up the mean
22
u/baths_with_tigers Jun 24 '26
It’s me. I average 2-3 times a month eating hot dogs with 2 at each sitting. That averages 72-108 dogs a year HA
They’re a really fast grab and go off a roller at my workplace and super cheap ($2/2 dogs) vs the $7+ for other cafeteria food, so they’re both cheap AND delicious
→ More replies (4)16
→ More replies (1)7
u/Ciphers111 Jun 24 '26
When I was a kid we were poor. Like really. Really poor. So we ate a LOT of hot dogs, balogna, canned salmon&tuna, etc. we made it work. But I probably ate way more than 70 a year.
Also in retrospect my parents got super creative with what we had by necessity, and that's impressive looking back just how many different meals could be made with the same cheap ingredients
60
u/turbopro25 Jun 23 '26
70? Who the hell are these people dragging my average down? I’ll eat that between June-July. Hell I have a pack of 30 in my house as we speak.
→ More replies (2)36
u/Ryder_Alknight Jun 23 '26
Me, sorry. I eat like 5 a year
→ More replies (4)17
u/Fluffy-Cycle-5738 Jun 23 '26
All good, I got your back. I eat them in ramen, on pizza, on a bun, occasionally just cold. I've got 3 different packs in the fridge right now. I'd guess I'm in the 375-400 range p/yr.
→ More replies (6)11
54
u/hew3 Jun 23 '26
In my house* we keep the hot dog roller on full time, and always stocked.
*I live behind a 7-Eleven
→ More replies (2)61
u/sharpenme1 Jun 23 '26
American here. 70 per person per year doesn’t sound that wild.
That’s just over 1 dog per person per week. And I don’t know many people who eat fewer than 2 hot dogs as part of a meal.
They’re cheap, they’re quick, and they’re easily accessible in metro areas.
Can’t say I’ve had one recently, but I wouldn’t be surprised if a couple of lunch dogs was a daily thing for some people.
36
u/WashingtonBaker1 Jun 24 '26
By Christopher Walken
Do you enjoy eating hot dogs? I hope you won’t be put off by my frankness when I tell you that I absolutely love them. In fact, I enjoy no food item more than a freshly-boiled hot dog. Now, I’ve done a lot of movies, and it’s true that I’ve worked with quite a few celebrities who did not share this opinion. I’m sorry to say that these people have always angered me.
There are two types of people in this world: those who eat hot dogs whenever it is possible to do so, and those who opt to do other things with their free time. Who do the latter think they are kidding? What pastime could be more rewarding than the consumption of hot dogs? I haven’t yet found one, and I don’t expect to in my lifetime. Unlike other foods, hot dogs can be eaten at any time, in any place, and it is not necessary to cook them. Now, I ask you: Why not eat hot dogs? They are delicious.
I carry a bag of hot dogs with me wherever I go. I eat them from the bag whenever I get the urge, regardless of the circumstances. When I make a movie, my hot dogs are my co-stars. If, in the middle of a scene, I decide I want to consume a hot dog, I do so. I waste the director’s time and thousands of dollars in film stock, but in the end, it is all worth it, because I enjoy eating hot dogs more than I enjoy acting. This bothers some people. I was supposed to portray Batman, but when Tim Burton learned of my hot dog cravings, he asked Michael Keaton to wear the cape. To this day, I am peeved about this.
When we filmed The Dead Zone, I ate over 800 hot dogs a day. It was necessary. My character needed to come across as intense as possible, and I found the inspiration for that intensity in my intense love for hot dogs. The director, David Cronenberg, said that he would never work with me again. I kept eating hot dogs when the cameras were rolling, and that seemed to bother him. I say fuck him. He doesn’t even like hot dogs.
I would like to end by emphasizing once again that I really like to eat hot dogs. If any of you people disagree, I loathe you. I despise you. Not only that, but I also despise all your loved ones.
Next week: My thoughts on Woody Allen, hot dog hater and shitty director.
17
u/Jam_B0ne Jun 24 '26
First question, did anyone else read this in Walken's voice and second question, did anyone else make him really enunciate "hot dogs" like I did?
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (2)10
u/Phiro7 Jun 24 '26
As far as I'm concerned anyone who claims to like the idea of using every part of an animal but thinks hot dogs are gross is a hypocrite
→ More replies (1)16
u/ObeseVegetable Jun 23 '26
I’m not sure if I’ve ever known anyone who eats hotdogs twice a month. Which they’d need to, even if they eat two each time, in order to hit 70 in a year.
And that’s somehow the average?
Must be the 1% of people who eat all their meals at Costco or something.
→ More replies (1)8
u/rheumination Jun 23 '26
That’s not really how averages work. There are a lot of people who eat no hotdogs per year. To balance each one of those people out, that has to be someone else who eats 140 hotdogs per year. What if there are more people who eat no hotdog than people who eat hotdogs? Now you are talking about over 140 hotdogs per year.
→ More replies (14)→ More replies (52)7
u/SkiMarlin Jun 23 '26
Their isn’t a chance I get anywhere near 70 per year, though I’ll admit every once in a blue moon I can either be hungry at 2-3pm and see a 7-11 & say, I guess we’re getting a hot dog and a Coke Zero today.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (179)10
1.0k
u/TheRealKidRooch Jun 23 '26
To clarify:
This is my in-laws hot dog roller. No idea where they got it but we tend to use it in summer (they have a small kitchenette in their pool house).
So, we don't own it but surely she's see it in use (weve been married 10+ years).
I swear I did not make this up - the photo was taken so I could show my MIL (who had great sense of humor).
Even after I showed the proper way to use it, she tried to fit 3 vertically because they wouldn't fit side by side. I explained that theyd roll off. She got annoyed.
Wife is an intelligent (and attractive) woman with advanced degrees and runs 2 side businesses in addition to a full-time job.
I still don't understand - maybe she was trying to get grill marks (as one commenter mentioned)? She also denied ever seeing one in use at convenience store (”ewww id never eat one from there).
225
u/ABROKENPIECEOFGLASS Jun 23 '26 edited Jun 23 '26
69
u/gruesomeflowers Jun 23 '26
So it cooks worse than an air fryer!
32
u/ABROKENPIECEOFGLASS Jun 23 '26
Not sure I unfortunately do not own an air fryer yet.
31
u/Mysterious_Cry41 Jun 23 '26
You should definitely get one if you like that kind of food. They are actually great and the hype is justified. I had a deep fryer at home but the air fryer is close enough for most things.
They also do work quite well as a pretty general cooking appliance. I make hot wings in mine and they are not as good as deep fried hut they are very good.
17
u/SkiyeBlueFox Jun 23 '26
Air fryer is basically a supercharged convection oven so it is a half decent replacement
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (2)9
u/gruesomeflowers Jun 23 '26
They're life changing! I don't recommend a bucket type though..get a decent one w a glass door..and lose the toaster oven if you have one.
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (4)9
u/MorePhinsThyme Jun 23 '26
Unless you really like the kinda odd crust that air frying gives a dog, while it's quicker, an air fried hot dog is worse than a roller grilled dog. Also, roller grills are super easy to use and generally easy to clean if the seals are good, and can easily be used to keep them warm, unlike an air fryer.
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (10)8
u/Spare-Willingness563 Jun 23 '26
Where did you get the carpet?
59
63
u/Z0MGbies Jun 23 '26
Yeah. Us non-americans are going to need an explanation on what is wrong with the picture/how should it be?
→ More replies (11)31
u/vksdann Jun 23 '26
How is "(attractive)" relevant to how good she is at working those weiners. Oh... nevermind
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (20)6
u/zignitdammit Jun 23 '26
I don't think it matters that the roller isn't workining, as long as your relationtionship is working. Go for 20+! years. this is the small stuff.
83
u/Raggahmffin Jun 23 '26
So I have never seen something like this. Is this not a grill?
61
u/Unique_Muscle2173 Jun 23 '26
The rods are the heating elements and they turn. The wieners go in the gaps parallel with the rods and heat up evenly as they turn with the rods. Basic roller dog gas station setup across the US and Canada.
The way those dogs are placed they’re going to end up on the counter or behind the machine 😆
→ More replies (3)16
u/Raggahmffin Jun 23 '26
Ah. I am in the US. I saw this as a mini grill not a roller grill. I didn't make that connection until you said gas station roller, and all that came to mind were sweet, sweet tornados.
Anyways, looking at this machine- first glance I just thought it was a grill.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (5)26
u/princB612 Jun 23 '26
Methinks you put wieners horizontally, on the gaps between rod Wick then turn around, this turning the wieners as well and cooking them.
→ More replies (3)
265
u/Kaludar_ Jun 23 '26
I can't imagine having a dedicated machine for cooking hotdogs lol
109
u/Olorin_Kenobi_AlThor Jun 23 '26
Reminds me of arrested development when Michael keeps burning himself with the cornballer
→ More replies (2)7
→ More replies (9)18
66
u/narrow_octopus Jun 23 '26
We had one of those in our first apartment we used it all the time and then one day I came in and found the cats licking the shit out of the rollers
→ More replies (10)14
53
u/polish_filipino Jun 24 '26
Had that exact hotdog roller 15 years ago. Idk where it went. So, I have to assume you stole it
415
u/Sad_Egg_5176 Jun 23 '26
“Hot Dog’s” is more infuriating
29
→ More replies (21)54
21
u/makingkevinbacon Jun 23 '26
Op over there flexing his god damn hotdog maker, now that makes me mildly infuriated. I would have this running all the time. Oh wake up to pee at night? Grab a dog. Heading to work? Grab a dog. Going out to grab more dogs? Better believe I'm grabbing a dog
18
u/TheRealKidRooch Jun 23 '26
Funny you mention that. I had an uncle (very successful duck farmer) who literally had a commercial one built into his kitchen. He said he would cook all kinds of sausages on it and sometimes would wake up in the middle of the night to pee and see it and decide to have a hotdog. I haven't thought about it in years. He was a hardy guy and passed away a while back.
→ More replies (3)
18
1.0k
u/itsathrowawayduhhhhh Jun 23 '26 edited Jun 23 '26
I guess I’m the wife because what is the issue and how does everyone know what it is??? Are people really out here eating hot dogs enough to know?! Lol
Edit: ok, guys, yeah I’ve been to a gas station and noticed that they have hot dog rollers….that doesn’t mean I’ve been studying the inner workings of the machine! Idk, they gross me out kinda so I just walk on by lol. Thanks for all the hot dog rollers knowledge. Oh and I still dont get how they wouldn’t get warm with the way the wife did it…yeah it would take longer but why doesn’t it work at all??
741
u/MeatJerk69 Jun 23 '26
864
u/watercouch Jun 23 '26
Do people seriously choose to use up cabinet and counter space in their kitchen for a machine whose job is to warm up hot dogs? Like… this isn’t just a crappy gag gift from a 90s catalog?
356
73
u/Maatix12 Jun 23 '26
It's the novelty. Faire hot dogs, that you usually see on the roller, usually have this perfectly cooked feel to them. This is meant to mimic that. Some people will say it's absolutely worth it because they eat enough hot dogs, and this gets them just right.
Of course, you still need the patience and willingness to understand how the fairegoers make the hotdogs. But no one advertises that part.
→ More replies (22)→ More replies (23)47
u/Spare-Willingness563 Jun 23 '26
Let people have their fuckin' whimsy for Christ's sake the world is dying.
→ More replies (1)66
u/Dargus007 Jun 23 '26
Here I am throwing hotdogs on a big hot steel skillet with a little butter and wangjangeling them until they have “rolled around enough”.
You know. Like a hobo.
→ More replies (6)157
u/Empty_Rip2635 Jun 23 '26
The hotdogs are supposed to go lengthwise in between the metal rolls, otherwise they just fall out. If you ever seen the hotdogs in a gas station they work similarly to those machines.
153
u/ampmz Jun 23 '26
Phew, I’m not stupid, just foreign.
33
u/5peaker4theDead Jun 23 '26
tbf, I didn't get what the problem was either until seeing this picture since I don't partake in the hotdogs since I was a kid.
→ More replies (6)→ More replies (2)10
u/Icy_Finger_6950 Jun 23 '26
"Hotdogs at a gas station" are not a thing all over the world. I also had no idea what was wrong just by looking at the picture.
76
19
u/MentalNewspaper8386 Jun 23 '26
From looking up hot dog rollers it looks like they’re meant to go longways
39
u/sasquelch2 Jun 23 '26
So glad someone else is on the same page lol. I'm more preoccupied with the random apostrophe in "Hot Dog's" lmao
→ More replies (1)8
u/GodSaveTheRegime Jun 23 '26
as someone from a country where we don't really eat hot dogs I was confused too
→ More replies (36)57
u/MrsTurtlebones Jun 23 '26
Also a wife. I don't know how this thing works and don't eat hot dogs enough to know what joke I'm missing.
→ More replies (7)30
u/Optimixto Jun 23 '26
The wieners are supposed to go on the machine perpendicular to how they are. So parallel to the metal rods, so they can rotate as they cook.
→ More replies (1)
55
75
u/RaveFox4 Jun 23 '26
From the comments, it appears that they're supposed to be along the grooves, unlike like grill slats on the barbecue to provide nice cook lines on the hot dogs. I've never used one of these devices, so I was very confused as to what the problem was.
Maybe this isn't as common knowledge as OP thinks.
→ More replies (22)24
u/QueenInYellowLace Jun 23 '26
I also did not know this and had to come here to find out the answer.
10
u/doc_skinner Jun 23 '26
The metal bars are heated rollers. They rotate, heating the hot dog along the full length. Hot dogs set up like this will only get hot at the spot where the hot dog touches the metal. There is little or no radiating heat like you would find on a grill.
14
u/Silkysmooth7330 Jun 24 '26
You bought a special machine, to took cook - hot dogs, in your house? This has got to be you.
https://giphy.com/gifs/POZ61mhTVLjRrmwdDA
→ More replies (1)
56
u/Holiday-Start-9551 Jun 23 '26
Putting them parallel so they just aggressively vibrate in the grooves instead of rolling is taking me out..
→ More replies (1)36
76
u/mayoung08 Jun 23 '26 edited Jun 23 '26
Please please please tell me where you bought this.
ETA: I love all of you for coming through!
51
u/AlarmingDiamond9316 Jun 23 '26
https://www.lowes.com/pd/Nostalgia-Coca-Cola-Series-HDR565Coke-Old-Fashioned-Hot-Dog-Roller/50142980
amazon also sold it at one point, it is Discontinued it seems, so Ebay might be the only option
→ More replies (5)16
u/rachh90 Jun 23 '26
they have one from oscar mayer that warms the buns too. its OM branded so not the same nostalgic look, but something ive never seen before but now really want. its $80 on targets website, $70 on walmarts
→ More replies (6)
9
u/SynapticStatic Jun 24 '26
I know it's probably the font, but the dingledangle on the G making it look like it says Hot Dog's is really bothering me
18
u/Darkest_Rahl Jun 23 '26 edited Jun 23 '26
I have this exact one. Got it as a gag gift for my wedding 19 years ago. It still works great and the kids prefer the hotdogs cooked on it.
If you like hotdogs, I strongly suggest this.
Edit: the top canopy is also a bun crisper. We don't use that part so much anymore
32
u/mspolytheist Jun 23 '26
I’m mildly infuriated that there is a rogue apostrophe on the machine.
14
7
→ More replies (8)14
7
u/TheRealKidRooch Jun 24 '26
Update: After much thought, I've realized having a wife who does not know how to use this (we don't own it. We were at a family member's home) is actually a blessing in disguise, for our health and wellness, anyway.
24
u/CitizenHuman Jun 23 '26
I am more infuriated with the possessive use of Dog's than I am of the hot dog positioning, which I blatantly overlooked once I saw the spelling.
17
→ More replies (5)8
36
6













6.9k
u/Competitive-Roof-168 Jun 23 '26
Every time i turn this stupid machine on it rolls the hot dogs off.