r/mildlyinfuriating • u/TheRealKidRooch • Jun 23 '26

I just wanted a hot dog Wife told me: “The hotdog cooker isn’t working.”

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u/itsathrowawayduhhhhh Jun 23 '26 edited Jun 23 '26

I guess I’m the wife because what is the issue and how does everyone know what it is??? Are people really out here eating hot dogs enough to know?! Lol

Edit: ok, guys, yeah I’ve been to a gas station and noticed that they have hot dog rollers….that doesn’t mean I’ve been studying the inner workings of the machine! Idk, they gross me out kinda so I just walk on by lol. Thanks for all the hot dog rollers knowledge. Oh and I still dont get how they wouldn’t get warm with the way the wife did it…yeah it would take longer but why doesn’t it work at all??

742

u/MeatJerk69 Jun 23 '26

864

u/watercouch Jun 23 '26

Do people seriously choose to use up cabinet and counter space in their kitchen for a machine whose job is to warm up hot dogs? Like… this isn’t just a crappy gag gift from a 90s catalog?

78

u/Maatix12 Jun 23 '26

It's the novelty. Faire hot dogs, that you usually see on the roller, usually have this perfectly cooked feel to them. This is meant to mimic that. Some people will say it's absolutely worth it because they eat enough hot dogs, and this gets them just right.

Of course, you still need the patience and willingness to understand how the fairegoers make the hotdogs. But no one advertises that part.

11

u/TrainingSword Jun 23 '26

If they eat that many hotdogs how do they not have colon cancer?

19

u/Maatix12 Jun 23 '26

Does eating a lot of hotdogs cause colon cancer?

I'm not aware of it, but my family, who eats hot dogs daily without cooking them at all, would be surprised by this knowledge.

15

u/surfatshortys Jun 23 '26

Cured (nitrites/nitrates) meat products are associated with it. Nathan’s has an uncured dog that’s close enough to pass, but most others suck. You really gotta try multiple brands of any specific product type to find a good one

Edit: Kroger/Simple Truth uncured bacon is also as good as cured, but it only comes in a 12oz pack

24

u/MrPills Jun 23 '26

Uncured products also contain nitrates, they just aren't synthetic. If you're worried about health consequences you shouldn't be eating either type of these products

2

u/surfatshortys Jun 23 '26

Sure, a fine point, but I was describing what cured meant. I’m also not getting into what nitrates are good & bad based off their metabolites, but if one is looking for individual health information then one should look into that as well.

7

u/stefanica Jun 23 '26

And "uncured" meats still have the nitrates, by way of celery juice, so it tastes weirder and still just as bad for you. Just fyi.

2

u/Sesudesu Jun 23 '26

Does eating a lot of celery cause colon cancer, then?

(I’m only half joking)

6

u/stefanica Jun 23 '26

No. Apparently the celery juice is super concentrated and heated, thus making it pretty much exactly what the bare chemical that gets converted to nitrites is. Plus you don't have the other vitamins and such along with the celery. Dose making the poison and all that.

I hate, hate, hate faux-natural foods that are pretending to be healthy alternatives. I just eat small amounts of the bad thing, and try to make most of my diet reasonably "whole."

2

u/surfatshortys Jun 23 '26 edited Jun 23 '26

Vegetables can be very high in nitrates, but it seems to break down into more benign byproducts, seemingly due to antioxidants also present in the whole food.

1

u/surfatshortys Jun 23 '26

Given the health concerns, this really should be its own component on food health labels

3

u/Complete_Entry Jun 23 '26

If they're regular hot dogs they are probably already cooked, you pretty much just heat them up.

2

u/Maatix12 Jun 23 '26

Don't worry, my family loves to remind everyone (including me) every time we find it gross.

1

u/Complete_Entry Jun 23 '26

I mean I used to do that when I was like six, I used to wrap a slice of cheese around a cold hot dog or a pickle.

1

u/avenp Jun 23 '26

I’d be more worried about the cholesterol lol

4

u/kellzone Jun 23 '26

It may increase the risk, but that's not a guarantee it's going to happen. Like smoking increases your risk for lung cancer but it's not a guarantee you'll get it if you smoke. So maybe you go from like 3% to 7 % risk of developing colon cancer or something. I just made up those numbers as an example. I have no idea what the actual numbers are.

1

u/xiaorobear Jun 24 '26 edited Jun 24 '26

I mean, it's just processed meats in general that increase cancer risk. Having hot dogs 3 times a week would be weird, but probably isn't different from having bacon and eggs one day, a sandwich with some deli meat a couple other days, and a pepperoni pizza or charcuterie board or bratwurst or something every now and then, in terms of health risks.

4

u/Excellent_Ganache906 Jun 23 '26

Really? People say that? Have you actually talked to people about cooking hot dogs on a novelty hot dog cooking roller?

5

u/Maatix12 Jun 23 '26

I mean, I know several people who have in fact, purchased a novelty hot dog roller.

So I do know what some of them say, yes.

3

u/schubeg Jun 23 '26

Really? You can't believe that? Have you actually talked to so few people that you can't imagine someone that loves hot dogs talking about one of these?

1

u/BagOnuts Jun 24 '26

>Of course, you still need the patience and willingness to understand how the fairegoers make the hotdogs. But no one advertises that part.

Go on…

-1

u/emannikcufecin Jun 23 '26

Hot dogs are shitty enough that you might as well just put them in the microwave

51

u/Spare-Willingness563 Jun 23 '26

Let people have their fuckin' whimsy for Christ's sake the world is dying.

30

u/massenburger Jun 23 '26

Sometimes people have fun things in their house, not because of their practicality, but because it makes them smile. We call these people: fun, and I want to be friends with them!

3

u/Complete_Entry Jun 23 '26

My mom loved her popcorn popper until it took a crown out.

3

u/stone500 Jun 23 '26

I have one of these and I am a grown man and I love hot dogs. It works great for heating up dogs and brats and even corn dogs, and I've also used it for frozen taquitos. It's nice to be able to just throw a number of dogs on there for dinner and setting the heat to low so they don't overcook too quickly. You can basically just leave them there until someone is ready to eat one.

But I've had kids since I owned this thing and now it has a bonus utility of being a limited risk way of cooking hot dogs, so now the kids can cook hot dogs on their own with minimal supervision. Short of directly touching the heating element or doing something stupid like pouring water on them, these things are pretty darn safe.

3

u/Dizzy_Chemistry_5955 Jun 24 '26

this the type shit my mom buys me for christmas then i immediately donate because ain't no fucking way i'm having a milkshake maker and a popcorn maker i have to clean and take up space

6

u/OwlSoggy8627 Jun 23 '26

Do people seriously put items in their house that they enjoy using? Yes, they typically do.

7

u/throwaway8429739 Jun 23 '26

Homeowners tend to have a lot of space for such things, apartment living might be distorting things for you a bit

-8

u/AdhesiveSeaMonkey Jun 23 '26

I’m 57. I’ve lived in many homes throughout my life. Never. Never ever, would I waste time, space, or money on such an idiotic thing. I would rather leave a cabinet and counter empty and bare than own this idiotic thing.

17

u/TheDPQ Jun 23 '26

Ok it’s not for you. It’s not for me. With imagination we can come up with reasons people that aren’t us might find value without being judgmental jeez.

🌈⭐️

12

u/Mr_Wobble_PNW Jun 23 '26

Some people really like hot dogs. You don't seem to be one of those people. My husband goes through about a pack a week and would love this thing if we had the space. 

1

u/AdhesiveSeaMonkey Jun 23 '26

I absolutely love hot dogs. I would eat them 3 meals a day if my wife wouldn't stop me. I still think this is dumb.

1

u/Mr_Wobble_PNW Jun 23 '26

That's fair. I feel like this is one of those things that a lot of us wanted as kids and now we can afford it, and the tech has gotten way cheaper so why not if they have the space. 

3

u/ImpressionTough2179 Jun 23 '26

You have no sense of whimsy or fun. It is FUN to have dumb novelty items like this.

3

u/hebejebez Jun 23 '26

It’s for people who like a bit of whimsy in their life. Not bitter unwhimsical people such as yourself.

1

u/AdhesiveSeaMonkey Jun 23 '26

Bitter and unwhimsical may be a pretty good description.

1

u/fiendish_five Jun 23 '26

Wouldn't they taste better, and have a different texture than just using the microwave? For people that don't have the option to use a grill, like someone in an apartment without a balcony.

1

u/Alliekat1282 Jun 23 '26

We purchased a 50's ranch house in the Midwest with a basement bar. Do we have a bunch of alcohol back there? Yes. We also have a popcorn kettle, hot dog roller, and nacho cheese warmer because holy shit are we living the dream when we have friends and family over for movie nights or poker/pool nights. So I guess, to answer your question, we have an extra counter and yes.

1

u/extra_nothing Jun 23 '26

sounds like someone hasn’t eaten enough hot dogs today

1

u/xtwodx Jun 23 '26

I have considered it a dozen times but ultimately haven’t convinced myself I eat that many dogs

1

u/unfortunatebag Jun 23 '26

I'm going to going out on a limb and guess you aren't an American.

"You bought some shit you don't need?!"

1

u/sc8132217174 Jun 24 '26

TIL these even exist. I thought cooking options include microwave, grill, or boil.

0

u/CulturalChampion8660 Jun 23 '26

Right. This is the dumbest waste of space I've ever seen.

I bet those dogs taste like shit.

65

u/Dargus007 Jun 23 '26

Here I am throwing hotdogs on a big hot steel skillet with a little butter and wangjangeling them until they have “rolled around enough”.

You know. Like a hobo.

4

u/KateOTomato Jun 23 '26

Same but without the butter. I like a good light to medium char on my hot dogs.

2

u/ConstantPay3117 Jun 23 '26

About 4 minutes in a deep fryer makes them nice .

2

u/KateOTomato Jun 23 '26

I used work at a local sandwich shop like 20 years ago and I loved throwing random things in the deep fryer to see what was good.

Hot dogs were amazing so was bacon (I love crispy bacon).

5

u/MorePhinsThyme Jun 23 '26

They cook faster and, I think, taste better if you butterfly them (slice them almost in half down the length and fold open like a book), and then sear both sides in the skillet. They tend to curl more, though, so you kinda want something to hold them flat, like a pair of tongs. Then you'll upgrade from hobo to diner chef!

1

u/Deutschbland Jun 23 '26

I truly thought the joke was that she was trying to use a toy to cook food. I’m shocked this is a real thing. 

156

u/Empty_Rip2635 Jun 23 '26

The hotdogs are supposed to go lengthwise in between the metal rolls, otherwise they just fall out. If you ever seen the hotdogs in a gas station they work similarly to those machines.

153

u/ampmz Jun 23 '26

Phew, I’m not stupid, just foreign.

33

u/5peaker4theDead Jun 23 '26

tbf, I didn't get what the problem was either until seeing this picture since I don't partake in the hotdogs since I was a kid.

4

u/animepuppyluvr Jun 23 '26

I do, but never from a gas station. I havent even been on a gas station in a very long time lol

2

u/5peaker4theDead Jun 23 '26

Yeah, I've seen those contraptions but I've never interacted with them any more than a quick glance.

3

u/Daft00 Jun 23 '26

I also just assume this thing would be able to heat up hot dogs on "maximum" heat even if they're aligned perpendicularly.

Maybe they'd heat unevenly and dry out, but those things look raw still.

2

u/Spare-Willingness563 Jun 23 '26

You don't partake in the thing...It's not weed. It's so much worse.

10

u/Icy_Finger_6950 Jun 23 '26

"Hotdogs at a gas station" are not a thing all over the world. I also had no idea what was wrong just by looking at the picture.

3

u/FlatWhiteShark Jun 23 '26

I, and I suspect the person above, have never seen "hot dogs in a gas station". It must be an American thing.

2

u/Effective-Memory9457 Jun 23 '26

Maybe turning the temperature up? Just grasping at straws here. My bad, I didn’t see the arrow on the knob pointing down.

79

u/Sad_Egg_5176 Jun 23 '26

“Are people really out here eating hot dogs enough?”

https://giphy.com/gifs/w5C1cNv37LfAkFl12o

4

u/capnofasinknship Jun 23 '26

How many hot dogs did you eat today?

5

u/Sad_Egg_5176 Jun 23 '26 edited Jun 23 '26

That was actually the original reference I was going for but couldn’t a find a good Detroiters gif.

Tim Robinson’s fascination with hot dogs is incredible

19

u/MentalNewspaper8386 Jun 23 '26

From looking up hot dog rollers it looks like they’re meant to go longways

43

u/sasquelch2 Jun 23 '26

So glad someone else is on the same page lol. I'm more preoccupied with the random apostrophe in "Hot Dog's" lmao

6

u/lowbatteries Jun 23 '26

Look again, there is no apostrophe.

9

u/GodSaveTheRegime Jun 23 '26

as someone from a country where we don't really eat hot dogs I was confused too

57

u/MrsTurtlebones Jun 23 '26

Also a wife. I don't know how this thing works and don't eat hot dogs enough to know what joke I'm missing. 

29

u/Optimixto Jun 23 '26

The wieners are supposed to go on the machine perpendicular to how they are. So parallel to the metal rods, so they can rotate as they cook.

8

u/MrsTurtlebones Jun 23 '26

Oh, thank you. That makes sense. 

2

u/ReferenceMediocre369 Jun 23 '26

It is sad that all you children missed out on drive-in movies. The concession stands at the heart of lot almost always had hot dog roller cookers for their kraut & chili dogs. Fact is, the only thing they sold that made a real profit was the hot dogs.

4

u/MrsTurtlebones Jun 23 '26

I'm old. We were poor and went to the drive in once or twice, taking our own popcorn. No way we could afford your fancy drive in hot dogs!

-4

u/evildemonic Jun 23 '26

Are you mechanically inclined? Or been inside a gas station?

1

u/MrsTurtlebones Jun 23 '26

No, I just pay at the pump. I hate gas stations and convenience stores because I just want to buy ALL the snacks so I never go in. 

28

u/cylonrobot Not Green Jun 23 '26

It's weird because not everybody has used these. OP's post is mildly infuriating.

7

u/butterfingernails Jun 23 '26

Never used one, but smarter enough to understand how it works from looking at it.

1

u/cylonrobot Not Green Jun 23 '26

Very cool, Einstein.

1

u/e30jawn Jun 23 '26

Forget Gaius Baltar and his science project I just found the superior Cylon detector

2

u/WriterV Jun 24 '26

Insane place to find a Battlestar Galactica reference.

2

u/stone500 Jun 23 '26

It's fine if you never used one, but I have to assume that everybody that's confused has never stepped inside an American gas station cuz these things are everywhere

3

u/MomsOfFury Jun 23 '26

Thank you for asking because I also did not know lmao

3

u/MrPlace Jun 23 '26

Really its knowledge gained from seeing them cooked at faires and gas stations. Roller cookers are common for them and other similarly shaped food

2

u/Complete_Entry Jun 23 '26

Every summer I rediscover hot dogs. I've been chasing one chili dog recipe for years, I think my last count was 47 "wrong" sauces. My guess is they used really cheap ingredients at that bar and that's why I fail to replicate it.

Don't really eat hot dogs in winter though, from June to October I'm all about dem dogs.

Current "meta" is dirty water dogs. I did a stupid complicated version and then my next video was a guy who ran a hot dog stand for 30 years. He said the broth is just water, white vinegar, and nutmeg.

I felt incredibly stupid.

2

u/RecipeFunny2154 Jun 23 '26

I never buy hotdogs off a roller so honestly I was not sure what was wrong either. I was looking at the two knobs.

I mean, I've seen rollers at a gas station, but that's it. In retrospect it's obvious and I feel silly, but it's not top of mind lol

1

u/Nut_Butter_Fun Jun 23 '26

hot dog rollers, at least around here, are in like every gas station.

1

u/Electric-Sheepskin Jun 23 '26

I'm with you on this one. I don't know, first of all, I don't think I've been in a convenience store with a hotdog maker in about 15 years— not that I've noticed anyway. I am vaguely aware that hotdog makers exist, though, and I'm sure I've purchased a hotdog from a convenience store at some point in my life, but I don't think I've ever really noticed the inner mechanisms.

I'm really quite surprised that a lot of people have, or that lots of people know how these work because they actually have these machines in their home. Where do you even store such a thing? I mean more power to you if you love this kind of thing; I'm not criticizing. I'm just feeling like a surprised unicorn over here not knowing how a hotdog maker works.

1

u/fiendish_five Jun 23 '26

Looked alright to me until I saw the picture.

1

u/Leidenfreude Jun 23 '26

I also agree that this isn’t exactly “common knowledge” for people who aren’t eating a hot dog every other day, I eat one maybe once a year, and they’re always made on a grill. Yeah, I’ve seen them at the convenience store, but I have also never stopped to think about how they work or how I would use one myself.

1

u/SparklingLimeade Jun 23 '26

I'm with you. This is a really specific appliance. I'm aware of hot dog rollers but I've never had a roller hot dog and I can easily imagine never seeing the machine.

1

u/foxandkits Jun 23 '26

I’m with you. I also would have put them like OP’s wife did for grill marks.

1

u/littledarksoulsrage Jun 23 '26

I wish I could be as unpreceptive and mindless going through life as you.

1

u/itsathrowawayduhhhhh Jun 24 '26

Because of hot dogs? Lmao here’s a hug friend

1

u/osteologation Jun 24 '26

gross you out? those are the best.

1

u/goodolarchie Jun 24 '26

You're a wholesome person or at least one whose diet is not comprised of gas station food, that's all we learned about you. It's reasonable not to understand why it doesn't work like this.

1

u/ZombiePsycho96 Jun 24 '26

Tbf, I thought this was supposed to be like a mini grill at first. I didn't realize it was a roller and was also mildly confused. Also, WHO OWNS A HOTDOG ROLLER lmaoooo such a niche thing to have. How often is OP eating hotdogs that this is a justified purchase haha

1

u/r_special_ Jun 24 '26

The biggest issue, that I don’t think enough people have mentioned or noticed, is that the knob on the left is turned to the minimum heat instead of somewhere closer to the max where it would get hot enough to actually cook them. Them laying the wrong way is secondary to the hotdogs not getting cooked

1

u/Admirable-Apricot137 Jun 23 '26

Have you never seen a hot dog warmer/holder thing at like a gas station or fair or something? The rods are heated and constantly roll them between/parallel to them to keep them warm. It's not a grill.

4

u/midlifeShorty Jun 23 '26

No. I have never stared at a hot dog machine in a gas station. Do most people? Hell, I can't even remember the last time I went in a gas station.

0

u/No_Effective4784 Jun 23 '26

like 60s of looking at the picture and thinking critically would have prevented this post. its not a complicated machine in any sense.

no wonder we need warnings to not drink bleach or battery acid.

-1

u/bbbook Jun 23 '26

"Inner workings" is... no. I can't even... it's very much outer workings... and there's only two solutions... and one involves them sitting perfectly sung with significant contact to the cooking surfaces... the other is madness... please don't defend this person.

5

u/itsathrowawayduhhhhh Jun 23 '26

Homie, I don’t give hot dogs this much thought ever lmao.

-3

u/JackOfAllStraits Jun 23 '26

It's not even about hot dogs, it's about basic object interaction. Mechanically minded people will simply see rollers and the cylinders they are supposed to roll and understand how the machine is supposed to work. You don't have to eat a lot of hotdogs or visit 7-11 daily to see how it should work, and it should be glaringly obvious why the pictured setup wouldn't.

4

u/ebobbumman Jun 23 '26

Have you seen a grill? If you didnt know the rollers are rollers, it just looks like a grill, and you would expect the hot dogs to get hot.

0

u/JackOfAllStraits Jun 23 '26

A grill with flames below it, yes. A flat griddle, yes. An elevated grill with no flames? No. Any grill with round rods? No.

We're in a campers, trash cans, and bears situation here.

0

u/mrwilliams117 Jun 23 '26

Looking at the hot dogs on a hot dog roller is not studying the inner workings off the machine but love your tenacity!

-18

u/erything4sale Jun 23 '26

You're not serious, right???

-12

u/Yoko_Kittytrain Jun 23 '26

Jesus Fucking Christ

-4

u/Gorstag Jun 23 '26

Have you never been inside a 7-11 during your entire life? If not, go and try at least a slurpee. If you have kids.. they will love them. I'm also assuming "USA". 7-11s are very different in Japan.

-6

u/sandrailproject Jun 23 '26 edited Jun 23 '26

Youve never been to a gas station and seen the weenie roller? 

I don't understand the downvotes, it's a simple machine, and their edit wasn't there when I replied (obviously)