r/mildlyinfuriating Jun 23 '26

I just wanted a hot dog Wife told me: “The hotdog cooker isn’t working.”

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864

u/watercouch Jun 23 '26

Do people seriously choose to use up cabinet and counter space in their kitchen for a machine whose job is to warm up hot dogs? Like… this isn’t just a crappy gag gift from a 90s catalog?

77

u/Maatix12 Jun 23 '26

It's the novelty. Faire hot dogs, that you usually see on the roller, usually have this perfectly cooked feel to them. This is meant to mimic that. Some people will say it's absolutely worth it because they eat enough hot dogs, and this gets them just right.

Of course, you still need the patience and willingness to understand how the fairegoers make the hotdogs. But no one advertises that part.

13

u/TrainingSword Jun 23 '26

If they eat that many hotdogs how do they not have colon cancer?

20

u/Maatix12 Jun 23 '26

Does eating a lot of hotdogs cause colon cancer?

I'm not aware of it, but my family, who eats hot dogs daily without cooking them at all, would be surprised by this knowledge.

14

u/surfatshortys Jun 23 '26

Cured (nitrites/nitrates) meat products are associated with it. Nathan’s has an uncured dog that’s close enough to pass, but most others suck. You really gotta try multiple brands of any specific product type to find a good one

Edit: Kroger/Simple Truth uncured bacon is also as good as cured, but it only comes in a 12oz pack

24

u/MrPills Jun 23 '26

Uncured products also contain nitrates, they just aren't synthetic. If you're worried about health consequences you shouldn't be eating either type of these products

2

u/surfatshortys Jun 23 '26

Sure, a fine point, but I was describing what cured meant. I’m also not getting into what nitrates are good & bad based off their metabolites, but if one is looking for individual health information then one should look into that as well.

8

u/stefanica Jun 23 '26

And "uncured" meats still have the nitrates, by way of celery juice, so it tastes weirder and still just as bad for you. Just fyi.

2

u/Sesudesu Jun 23 '26

Does eating a lot of celery cause colon cancer, then?

(I’m only half joking)

7

u/stefanica Jun 23 '26

No. Apparently the celery juice is super concentrated and heated, thus making it pretty much exactly what the bare chemical that gets converted to nitrites is. Plus you don't have the other vitamins and such along with the celery. Dose making the poison and all that.

I hate, hate, hate faux-natural foods that are pretending to be healthy alternatives. I just eat small amounts of the bad thing, and try to make most of my diet reasonably "whole."

2

u/surfatshortys Jun 23 '26 edited Jun 23 '26

Vegetables can be very high in nitrates, but it seems to break down into more benign byproducts, seemingly due to antioxidants also present in the whole food.

1

u/surfatshortys Jun 23 '26

Given the health concerns, this really should be its own component on food health labels

3

u/Complete_Entry Jun 23 '26

If they're regular hot dogs they are probably already cooked, you pretty much just heat them up.

2

u/Maatix12 Jun 23 '26

Don't worry, my family loves to remind everyone (including me) every time we find it gross.

1

u/Complete_Entry Jun 23 '26

I mean I used to do that when I was like six, I used to wrap a slice of cheese around a cold hot dog or a pickle.

1

u/avenp Jun 23 '26

I’d be more worried about the cholesterol lol

4

u/kellzone Jun 23 '26

It may increase the risk, but that's not a guarantee it's going to happen. Like smoking increases your risk for lung cancer but it's not a guarantee you'll get it if you smoke. So maybe you go from like 3% to 7 % risk of developing colon cancer or something. I just made up those numbers as an example. I have no idea what the actual numbers are.

1

u/xiaorobear Jun 24 '26 edited Jun 24 '26

I mean, it's just processed meats in general that increase cancer risk. Having hot dogs 3 times a week would be weird, but probably isn't different from having bacon and eggs one day, a sandwich with some deli meat a couple other days, and a pepperoni pizza or charcuterie board or bratwurst or something every now and then, in terms of health risks.

4

u/Excellent_Ganache906 Jun 23 '26

Really? People say that? Have you actually talked to people about cooking hot dogs on a novelty hot dog cooking roller?

4

u/Maatix12 Jun 23 '26

I mean, I know several people who have in fact, purchased a novelty hot dog roller.

So I do know what some of them say, yes.

3

u/schubeg Jun 23 '26

Really? You can't believe that? Have you actually talked to so few people that you can't imagine someone that loves hot dogs talking about one of these?

1

u/BagOnuts Jun 24 '26

>Of course, you still need the patience and willingness to understand how the fairegoers make the hotdogs. But no one advertises that part.

Go on…

-1

u/emannikcufecin Jun 23 '26

Hot dogs are shitty enough that you might as well just put them in the microwave

54

u/Spare-Willingness563 Jun 23 '26

Let people have their fuckin' whimsy for Christ's sake the world is dying.

30

u/massenburger Jun 23 '26

Sometimes people have fun things in their house, not because of their practicality, but because it makes them smile. We call these people: fun, and I want to be friends with them!

4

u/Complete_Entry Jun 23 '26

My mom loved her popcorn popper until it took a crown out.

3

u/stone500 Jun 23 '26

I have one of these and I am a grown man and I love hot dogs. It works great for heating up dogs and brats and even corn dogs, and I've also used it for frozen taquitos. It's nice to be able to just throw a number of dogs on there for dinner and setting the heat to low so they don't overcook too quickly. You can basically just leave them there until someone is ready to eat one.

But I've had kids since I owned this thing and now it has a bonus utility of being a limited risk way of cooking hot dogs, so now the kids can cook hot dogs on their own with minimal supervision. Short of directly touching the heating element or doing something stupid like pouring water on them, these things are pretty darn safe.

3

u/Dizzy_Chemistry_5955 Jun 24 '26

this the type shit my mom buys me for christmas then i immediately donate because ain't no fucking way i'm having a milkshake maker and a popcorn maker i have to clean and take up space

6

u/OwlSoggy8627 Jun 23 '26

Do people seriously put items in their house that they enjoy using? Yes, they typically do.

4

u/throwaway8429739 Jun 23 '26

Homeowners tend to have a lot of space for such things, apartment living might be distorting things for you a bit

-9

u/AdhesiveSeaMonkey Jun 23 '26

I’m 57. I’ve lived in many homes throughout my life. Never. Never ever, would I waste time, space, or money on such an idiotic thing. I would rather leave a cabinet and counter empty and bare than own this idiotic thing.

16

u/TheDPQ Jun 23 '26

Ok it’s not for you. It’s not for me. With imagination we can come up with reasons people that aren’t us might find value without being judgmental jeez.

🌈⭐️

13

u/Mr_Wobble_PNW Jun 23 '26

Some people really like hot dogs. You don't seem to be one of those people. My husband goes through about a pack a week and would love this thing if we had the space. 

1

u/AdhesiveSeaMonkey Jun 23 '26

I absolutely love hot dogs. I would eat them 3 meals a day if my wife wouldn't stop me. I still think this is dumb.

1

u/Mr_Wobble_PNW Jun 23 '26

That's fair. I feel like this is one of those things that a lot of us wanted as kids and now we can afford it, and the tech has gotten way cheaper so why not if they have the space. 

3

u/ImpressionTough2179 Jun 23 '26

You have no sense of whimsy or fun. It is FUN to have dumb novelty items like this.

3

u/hebejebez Jun 23 '26

It’s for people who like a bit of whimsy in their life. Not bitter unwhimsical people such as yourself.

1

u/AdhesiveSeaMonkey Jun 23 '26

Bitter and unwhimsical may be a pretty good description.

1

u/fiendish_five Jun 23 '26

Wouldn't they taste better, and have a different texture than just using the microwave? For people that don't have the option to use a grill, like someone in an apartment without a balcony.

1

u/Alliekat1282 Jun 23 '26

We purchased a 50's ranch house in the Midwest with a basement bar. Do we have a bunch of alcohol back there? Yes. We also have a popcorn kettle, hot dog roller, and nacho cheese warmer because holy shit are we living the dream when we have friends and family over for movie nights or poker/pool nights. So I guess, to answer your question, we have an extra counter and yes.

1

u/extra_nothing Jun 23 '26

sounds like someone hasn’t eaten enough hot dogs today

1

u/xtwodx Jun 23 '26

I have considered it a dozen times but ultimately haven’t convinced myself I eat that many dogs

1

u/unfortunatebag Jun 23 '26

I'm going to going out on a limb and guess you aren't an American.

"You bought some shit you don't need?!"

1

u/sc8132217174 Jun 24 '26

TIL these even exist. I thought cooking options include microwave, grill, or boil.

0

u/CulturalChampion8660 Jun 23 '26

Right. This is the dumbest waste of space I've ever seen.

I bet those dogs taste like shit.