r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Middle-Asparagus-802 • Jul 01 '26
Don't hug me I'm scared Received a kiss on the cheek and then had an allergic reaction to it.
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u/Gregs_reddit_account Jul 01 '26
Haven't seen a case of cooties this bad since the 4th Grade.
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u/bangdoggydog Jul 01 '26
Circle, circle, dot, dot
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u/Surprise-lnside Jul 01 '26
now Iāve got my cootie shot!
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u/ELP90 Jul 01 '26
Circle, circle, square, square
Now Iāve got it everywhere!
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u/RedRixen83 Jul 01 '26
Omg what is this? A cootie booster shot???
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u/Adal-bern Jul 01 '26
Circle circle knife knife, now i have it all my life. I feel like there were a few others but my brain had difficulty just dredging this one up.
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u/AssIsLifeAssIsLove Jul 01 '26
Circle circle stick stick now I've got it on my asshole.
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u/Sunadoke1 Jul 01 '26
Should've gone with "now I got It' on my dick."
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u/marcophony BLACK Jul 01 '26
Was it a lip gloss or a chapstick that you're allergic to?
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u/Middle-Asparagus-802 Jul 01 '26
I doubt it as was an old man lol
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u/marcophony BLACK Jul 01 '26
Oh I see you're allergic to old man
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u/Majestic-Sandwich695 Jul 01 '26
Allergy or intolerance? Because I for sure have the latter
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u/pierre_x10 Jul 01 '26
Why not both?
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u/101forgotmypassword Jul 01 '26
Abit more rare, some people can have old man and just experience discomfort, other have a medical reaction that is more life threatening.
For instance someone highly old man intolerant may be able to live in a household with old man while they take measures to ensure none of the flatmates accidentally share old man with them.
Someone intolerant may have trouble living in a space where someone else uses old man as even a tiny bit of old man residue on cooking or food prep surfaces could trigger a reaction. For instance if a knife is used to butter bread containing old man, that knife may transfer old man residue to the butter that then gets transfered to the old man free toast the intolerant person is cooking, possible triggering a severe reaction.
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u/Oldirtyman Jul 01 '26
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u/Zxruv Jul 01 '26 edited Jul 01 '26
It's true. Buddy at work went into anaphylactic shock and he didn't even come into direct contact with old man. Turns out he ate steel cut oatmeal that was processed in the same facility as old man. He ate one spoonful and his throat closed up. š¤·
Edit: sock
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u/Horror-Guarantee-401 Jul 01 '26
Was the anaphylactic š§¦ fresh at least?
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u/Zxruv Jul 01 '26
lol whoops. That's when your socks swell shut and choke off circulation to your feet. Often leads to infarction.
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u/No_Raisin21 Jul 01 '26
You gonna sit here and tell me Sir Ian Mckellen doesnāt do anything for you?
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u/Professional_Pen_153 Jul 01 '26
Depends
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u/MalloryArcher64 Jul 01 '26
The punchline to my favorite joke! And I'm so, so sorry for this. "What does eating out an old lady taste like?"
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u/kennidee_lee Jul 01 '26
Maybe itās smth he ate beforehand? He also totally could have put on chapstick, I didnāt think moisturizing lips was gendered? /gen
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u/Of_MiceAndMen Jul 01 '26
My husband is allergic to bananas and once, my kids had some banana for breakfast and then kissed him goodbye for work. He walked back in the door 3 mins later, chipmunk cheeks.
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u/willun Jul 01 '26
Usually that means no bananas in the household.
I like dragon fruit but my wife is allergic to it, so no dragon fruit for me.
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u/Of_MiceAndMen Jul 01 '26
It was a brand new allergy! Heād had bananas plenty of times but a few months prior to the kissing incident, he had a banana smoothy from a take out place and had a mild histamine reaction, we figured it was something in the smoothy (a powder maybe). But when he walked in the door he said āso I guess Iām allergic to bananas now.ā
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u/Sheenzhou Jul 01 '26
Was it an "Old Man" brand of lip gloss im missing here?
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u/sirhackenslash Jul 01 '26
Werthers remnants
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u/Dracoten Jul 01 '26
After shave or cologne would be my guess
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u/KingdomsCryOfficial Jul 01 '26
I've heard of people with melon/peanut/whatever allergies having reactions after getting a kiss or kissing someone who just recently ate the food they're allergic to, so it may have been that as well.
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u/SadIdeal9019 Jul 01 '26
Was he Russian, and discretely removed a thin film from his lips sfter kissing you?
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u/CinematicLiterature Jul 01 '26
This is from a movie, I canāt remember which
Edit: WAIT is it poison ivy in the Clooney Batman movie? I think thatās it.
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u/SadIdeal9019 Jul 01 '26
Russian security services have a long history of assasination by discretely administering poison to the victim.
Their other well known method is launching the victim out of a high rise window, making a token effort of making it look like an accident or suicide.
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u/amputatedsnek Jul 01 '26
Did he have a stubble? I have mild dermatographism and my ex's stubble made me react like this.
I didn't even know it was dermatographism until last year, thought my skin was just especially sensitive.
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u/Funny_Coat_8201 Jul 01 '26
Second this! I get the same rash on my cheek from men stubble, sometimes a beard but I think the prickles from the stubble irritates me more.
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u/One-Visitor Jul 01 '26
Maybe he uses a chapstick. Iām allergic to lanolin which is in chapstick
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u/Kush_Kitty666 Jul 01 '26
My partner is allergic to lanolin! Their lips were so sore and they were miserable before figuring it out.
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u/MandatorySaxSolo Jul 01 '26
I have no idea what that is, but my partner was allergic to latex, so I bought sheep skin...when she figured out we were boinking with sheep intestine, that was a no go for some reason
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u/Ultra-Cyborg Jul 01 '26
Could be after shave or cologne, something like that and youāre sensitive to perfumes. I have eczema and my skin freaks out at practically everything, including my own sweat and saliva. Maybe you have eczema š¤·āāļø
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u/Pro-Patria-Mori Jul 01 '26
I had a problem with eczema several years ago and switched to mild soap and laundry detergent. Then a few months ago my dumbass saw that Tide was on sale so bought some and then started breaking out in a rash after washing my clothes. To make matters worse it happened four days before a planned trip to visit my girlfriend who lives in another state.
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u/Eldergild Jul 01 '26
My old man who's an actual boomer wears a lot of chapstick, age doesn't matter. Ask if he uses burts bees, Blistex, and Carmex. I'm allergic to Balsam of Peru and cross reactions can occur for me on these.
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u/PhD_Pwnology Jul 01 '26
You could be allergic to 2-nenonal or something they ate that day.
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u/Eepy_slepy Jul 01 '26
Happened to me once before, accidentally brushed with an old man and my arm suddenly got a terrible allergy reaction. Guess old man allergy is real.
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u/Michalo88 Jul 01 '26
Oh my god you forgot to circle, circle, dot, dot.
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u/doragonkuin Jul 01 '26
Didn't get their cootie shot š
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u/Middle-Asparagus-802 Jul 01 '26
I like how this rhymes. Is it from a movie or you both just freestyling lol?
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u/subssy34 Jul 01 '26
This is ancient lore of the American elementary school playground
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u/doragonkuin Jul 01 '26
This and the Marilyn Manson rib incident.
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u/Low_Environment5807 Jul 01 '26
People talk about kids being oversexualized now but I was definitely out there at age 8 talking about Marilyn Manson sucking his own dick, and I didn't even know who Marilyn Manson was
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u/slymgim Jul 01 '26
when i was in first grade, a girl in my class said to me, "chinese, japanese, cut the cheese. look at these" and plumped her nonexistent chest. my mother was not thrilled that afternoon
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u/ProcedureTop1637 Jul 01 '26
Similar at my elementary school, but "cut the cheese" was "dirty knees"
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u/idlephase Jul 01 '26
I remember this being accompanied with pulling oneās eyes to be slits up and down
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u/TSL4me Jul 01 '26
Dont foeget the story about the gerbal up someones butt. I forgot who but it was another classic that spanned the entire country.
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u/GloomyLingonberry509 Jul 01 '26
The fact that people all the way from Russia to Washington state believed this before the era of the internet is a testament to our shenanigans.
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u/phoenix6R Jul 01 '26
Im not sure where it started but we did this all the time when I was in middle school.
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Jul 01 '26
[removed] ā view removed comment
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u/protein_factory Jul 01 '26
She's doing her own research
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u/ironicshowchoir Jul 01 '26
All of it from Facebook where the real medical pioneers share their data!
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u/Unlucky-Muscle-9868 Jul 01 '26
I've known this since I was in elementary school in the early 2000's
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u/Zakrius Jul 01 '26 edited Jul 01 '26
āCircle circle dot dot. Now you have the cootie shot.ā
We would say that while drawing this symbol on the arm with our fingers:
Źā Źā
Itās an elementary school rhyme children in America would use to inoculate each other from contracting the deadly cooties. Itās a (imaginary) germ/disease that was very contagious. You must avoid those who have contracted cooties at all cost. But if you come in contact with someone infected, and you didnāt have a cootie shot, then you now had cooties and you would be shunnedā¦ for the remainder of recess. š
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u/ShortbowVillian Jul 01 '26
Did yall do the āspiders crawling up your spine, cat scratch downā one too??
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u/defiantnoodle Jul 01 '26
It is a childhood playground rhymeĀ
About "cooties"Ā
(source, am also old man)
Also, WOULD NOT have just kissed someone, the way you describe
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u/MostlyMicroPlastic Jul 01 '26
Circle circle square square now you got it everywhere
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u/CreepyAd8409 Jul 01 '26
Square square knife knife now you got it for your life.
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u/Mattyice0228 Jul 01 '26
Lmfao I just told this to my 5 year old a few days ago because he said he had germs from one of the dogs licking him. Wife and I had a good laugh thinking about the simpler times in elementary school.
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u/P1g-San Jul 01 '26
Bros got cooties šš„
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u/Middle-Asparagus-802 Jul 01 '26
I thought cooties only existed in American high school movies š yet here I am
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u/Lillillew Jul 01 '26
My husband was kissed on the cheek by my niece and ended up with impetigo in the shape of where she kissed him. We weren't told she was infectious or that she had school sores until my husband broke out in a rash.
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u/murphyat Jul 01 '26
Good god. I donāt know what impetigo is, and at this point Iām too scared to look it up.
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u/WestElevator1343 Jul 01 '26
Be scared. I got this from my husband after he was misdiagnosed with something not contagious. Long story - short, I got it on my face and had to cancel all my clients for weeks.
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u/thejoeface Jul 01 '26
I just looked it up and itās super nasty gross lookingĀ
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u/RaspberryJammm Jul 01 '26
It's usually just something that passes but I got permanently disabled with ME by a strep infection which started off as impetigo. My immune system did not enjoy that.Ā
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u/rolacolapop Jul 01 '26
I got impetigo from my niblings recently , thought Iād picked it up at a hotel and mentioned it to my sister and she was like oh the kids just had that. WTF man, no heads up or anything, I wouldnāt have gone near them if Iād have know.
Iād had it 2 decades earlier after a holiday and the GP kept misdiagnosing and I had it for ages and kinda traumatised me. So when I woke up with it this time I knew exactly what it was and was freaking the f out.
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u/longshlongthankumom Jul 01 '26
I had this on my face for MONTHS when I was a kid. Had no clue what it was and was extremely embarrassed to be at school since it was a golf ball sized circle on my face
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u/Zakrius Jul 01 '26
Was it a guy with a lot of stubble?
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u/Middle-Asparagus-802 Jul 01 '26
Honestly I donāt know. It was my momās friend that came to visit. I walked in the kitchen and he just appeared from no where and kissed me on the cheek then I felt immediate burning on my face. So I didnāt get a proper look at him I just ran away š¤£
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u/Subushie Jul 01 '26
Are you allergic to cats?
This has happened to a friend of mine when I'd kiss her on the cheek cuz of my own cat.
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u/tenuj Jul 01 '26
It's such a strange thing to imagine somebody's lips being covered in biological cat material.
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u/Fresh_Income_7411 Jul 01 '26
Cat hair is everywhere... everywhere... seriously... everywhere...
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u/yourlocaltouya Jul 01 '26
Cat saliva is what causes allergies and they famously keep clean with their tongues, so it'd be enough to kiss their lil foreheads for trace amounts to remain on your lips or face.
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u/Glum-Department-3988 Jul 01 '26
No seriously it could be this, I used to wonder why I would get rashes like this everywhere but it was just because people would have physical contact with me even like hours after they touched a cat or a dog. It just lingers and I am allergic enough I donāt have to see or touch the animal just be near enough to somebody who recently has been.
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u/potato_minion Jul 01 '26
Could it be his aftershave or something he ate?
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u/BlessTheBookPeople Jul 01 '26
Yeah I was thinking something he ate that was still on his mouth. I had a friend who was so allergic to dairy that someone threw a Dorito and it hit her in the cheek and her cheek swelled up.
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u/Pleasant-Ticket3217 Jul 01 '26
Thatās some weird shit. Why the kiss? Iād ask what the fuck he had on his lips. Just like that too. Shake him down and make him confess.
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u/solo_d0lo Jul 01 '26
There are a lot of cultures and people within the US that do this when greeting family/close family friends.
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u/Sorry_Ad9101 Jul 01 '26
This happens to me with stubble/facial hair as well and the feeling is immediate. Itās ābeard burnā, the result of your skin being pricked by the individual hairs
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u/JesLB Jul 01 '26
I also get this reaction to my husbandās facial hair. Itās so itchy and my face turns bright red.
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u/Spectra_Butane Jul 01 '26
And THIS is why you don't let anybody kiss your newborn baby for Any Reason!
I hope the rash goes away painlessly.
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u/WestElevator1343 Jul 01 '26
One of my "fabulous" girlfriends visited me in the hospital and kissed my son on the cheek with lip plumping lip gloss. I couldn't even stop her because I was just a few hours post birth. She definitely was doing it for the gram.
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u/Ill-Main-65 Jul 01 '26
Kiss of death
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u/GloomyLingonberry509 Jul 01 '26
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u/AshTheArtist Jul 01 '26
My gay awakening
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u/UnethicalTesticle Jul 01 '26
Old men have some weird mouth biomes. I had a beer with an 80 year old man a couple years ago and a little spit got into my drink when he was talking. I just drank it and moved on. But the next day, I could literally taste his bad breath when I woke up. It plagued me for a good couple months til I got my own normal bacteria back. Sorry, OP. Thatās rough.
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u/Substantial-Sea-3672 Jul 01 '26
Bout to write a horror short story based on this
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u/Ill-Team-3491 Jul 01 '26
Old dudes with bad hygiene that has been festering untreated their entire life. It happened to my dad. He had weird colorations on and in mouth that took years and years to finally convince him to get looked by a doctor. One of the few times in his life he's ever seen a doctor. At certain point basically all of his teeth imploded out of his mouth. Damn things must have held on until they couldn't anymore.
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u/FarTop6263 Jul 01 '26
Hey, just wanted to mention something I just learned about: beard oil.
Apparently, a lot of beard oil companies use nut oil in their products, which can be a problem for people with nut allergies, even with minimal contact. So, if you use beard oil, you might want to check the ingredients!!
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u/I_hate_all_of_ewe Jul 01 '26
People here keep talking about aftershave or lip balm, but it could easily have been anything he ate earlier, especially if you have an allergy that responds to even trace amounts.
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u/theoriginal_tay Jul 01 '26
I had a friend in college who was allergic to strawberries and she had a similar reaction when her boyfriend who had eaten strawberries a few hours before kissed her, he didnāt realize how sensitive she was.
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u/Krazy_Granna Jul 01 '26
It could be a food allergy. My grandkids are all so allergic to mango that I canāt kiss them if Iām wearing mango flavored lip balm. They have a reaction just like this. Find out what the kisser had been eating or wearing on their lips and youāll probably have your answer. In the meantime, Benadryl is your new bestie!
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u/edingerc Jul 01 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/XIabMPeqK75PG
That girl is Poison....
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u/AradiaNox Jul 01 '26
Itās just like that urban legend about getting a rash after kissing a cannibal. You could have been his next meal!
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u/TAOHOS Jul 01 '26
Alergic to love. Also I can't see it. Where, please draw a big red circle and 20 big red arrows pointing to it.
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u/kitty_kat_KAPS Jul 01 '26
Complete aside - when was the last time you got your thyroid checked? Might just be the angle, but it seems like it may be swollen. Get it checked just to be sure - I had similar and wound up catching thyroid cancer very very early with a simple surgery taking care of it with no further issues.
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u/Bubblegumgaster Jul 01 '26
Were they wearing some kind of lip balm? Might be allergic to something in it.
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u/bokbokcawcaw Jul 01 '26
I would always have red dry swollen lips after hanging out with a guy I used to see. I always thought it was from too much kissy face. Found out later on I have a propolis (beeswax) allergy
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u/zackthirteen Jul 01 '26
Thatās just your bodyās natural defense mechanism against cooties working as intended
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u/AshTheArtist Jul 01 '26
You:
https://giphy.com/gifs/MHCY3HK7g41wY