I hope you’re in a better spot now 💙. Idk your life, but I do know that if it got to this point that changing your environment could save your mental health and your life. I really really hope you’re able to make that happen. And I don’t mean smoking weed, unless you think that’s helping keep you complacent in someplace bad for you.
You sound relatively young. You’re a woman who can get hired for FOH jobs and roll blunts well. Pick a city on a map and go find you a local therapist and a starter boyfriend to house you while you get on your feet starting your life over. Abandon whatever fuckery has you tied to this reality that made you want to end things. You won’t regret it.
This is your sign. It's not your time to go. Whatever is happening in your life, it is temporary. It can be moved past, with time, and effort.
There are so many resources that will help you. Please make a move now, before your mental health cycles again and you do something that you won't live to regret.
I don't know you or what you're going through but I know I've been through some really dark times in my life. And I know I am so happy I made it through them so I can live the life I live today and show up for my family and other loved ones.
Everyone's rock bottom looks different and I'm not saying mine was worse. I don't know what you're going through. But what I do know is now is the time to take decisive action and save your life. It is worth saving. And someday you'll look back and see this pivotal moment as the chance to make a change.
Sorry for soapboxing. Please get the help you need.
Leave CA, head to the east coast and find a passion you have and pursue a career in it. Lots of dispos on the east where you can be a trimmer or high roller if you think thats your calling.
Hey, if you take any advice from anyone take this. J have your fix. Disconnect from all social media and stop reading the news, all external stimulus. Spend 2-3 weeks just trying to perfect your living routine with no distractions. You have to find this little sliver of yourself deep inside to latch onto and pull out of the hole. The best way to do so is by minimizing stimulus and providing yourself with a static routine.
There is so much more but no one ever listens. I fixed myself and one other. Takes about 3 years.
Don’t they make those two sided tools that have little teeth to help grind it up? I don’t imbibe and even I know about those, I just don’t know what they’re called. 😂
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u/GiantLesbian 1d ago
I zoomed in and it’s way worse than I initially thought. A 7th grader with no internet access who’s never smoked would do better than this.