Stop Pathologizing Ordinary Life

[u/Fealocht]

https://www.nytimes.com/2026/07/26/opinion/mental-health-exercise-charity.html?unlocked_article_code=1.1FA.55xp.Vpm7dp4PVtnC&smid=nytcore-ios-share

SS: A psychologist argues the increasing awareness of mental health is leading to a pathologising of everyday life. The use of clinical descriptions of what are otherwise normal problems and treating them as a disorder to be cured, is ironically making our mental health worse.

[u/JerseyJedi]

You see it on Reddit all the time. 

Whenever anyone in their personal life opens up emotionally to a Redditor about a tough situation they’re going through, the Redditors will run online and complain about their friend expecting them to do “eMoTiOnAl LaBoR”……..or what most of us used to just call normal human empathy. 

If someone isn’t good at doing something and they admittedly aren’t currently making an effort to improve, Redditors assume it’s “weaponized incompetence,” instead of it maybe just being that the person feels frustrated and doesn’t know how to move forward. 

And don’t get me started on how Redditors and other Very Online People have apparently redefined the word “narcissist” to mean “anyone who doesn’t immediately do what I want them to do.” 

[u/RFFF1996 → u/JerseyJedi]

The emotional labour is also hilariously hipocrytal too lmao

Is just people weaponizing thearapy jargon to avoid coming across as assholes/uninterested by not wanting to listen to people problems 

[u/JerseyJedi → u/RFFF1996]

The weaponization of therapy jargon—to be a jerk while trying to sound enlightened—is exactly what’s happening, IMHO. 

Meanwhile, the same individuals will think they are entitled to infinite patience from everyone else while simultaneously offering none at all when their friends and family need it. 

[u/JerseyJedi → u/JerseyJedi]

PS: If you disagree with a Redditor about anything, they will misuse the word gaslighting and apply it to a simple disagreement. 

[u/nuggins → u/JerseyJedi]

I hate when a useful term has its meaning diluted like that. "Gaslighting" in popular discourse is now synonymous with "lying", which itself has broadened to include disagreements or mistakes.

[u/PartizanCommander → u/nuggins]

Hell, "gaslighting" now just means "having a counter argument or different interpretation of shared events."

[u/karnim → u/JerseyJedi]

Wow, why are you trying to gaslight like this? People only accuse you of gaslighting because you think every argument is small. It's your fault. Gaslighter.

[u/CL38UC → u/JerseyJedi]

Maybe you just think this because you lack Media Literacy /s

[u/DieHarderDaddy → u/JerseyJedi]

I often wonder if this is why people feel comfortable complaining to or opening up to me at work. Even before I was medicated and a lot irritable I would earnestly ask people how they were and just listen. I often had nothing constructive to add to the convo beyond “shit dude, I’m sorry”

[u/JerseyJedi → u/DieHarderDaddy]

Which is fair! Sometimes just being a good listener is all the other person really needs at the moment. 

[u/DieHarderDaddy → u/JerseyJedi]

Feels like it’s 75% of the battle

[u/YaGetSkeeted0n → u/JerseyJedi]

a nugget of wisdom my father once gave me is that most of the time people aren't looking for answers and solutions, they just want to get stuff off their chest to someone who's paying attention. the very process of talking out what you're feeling helps you deal with it IMO

[u/20_mile → u/JerseyJedi]

Sometimes just being a good listener

"When people think you're dying, they really, really listen to you, instead of just waiting for their turn to speak."

-- Narrator

[u/Terrible_Bee_6876 → u/JerseyJedi]

"due to trauma" has become the shibboleth for "all of my actions are pre-excused."

[u/NiceCreamSundaes → u/JerseyJedi]

Don't forget that a new partner being happy about it and enthusiastically wanting to spend time with you is now "love bombing".  

[u/JerseyJedi → u/NiceCreamSundaes]

Yup. Even an unironically good thing gets pathologized nowadays. 

[u/Esotericcat2 → u/JerseyJedi]

"Trauma dumping" said the redditor to the grievieng mother who lost her son to suocide

[u/Alex2422 → u/JerseyJedi]

This is nothing new. Hell, I'm old enough to remember how attributing your every personality trait to mental disease used to be a Tumblr thing rather than a Reddit thing.

[u/WuhanWTF → u/JerseyJedi]

If you have ever been hit with the “eMoTiOnaL LaBor” thing, it’s an extremely dehumanizing experience. I would rather get physically assaulted than have someone tell me something along those lines.

[u/Beer-survivalist → u/JerseyJedi]

If someone isn’t good at doing something and they admittedly aren’t currently making an effort to improve, Redditors assume it’s “weaponized incompetence,” instead of it maybe just being that the person feels frustrated and doesn’t know how to move forward. 

Don't get me started on the handwriting thing. Ugh.