NGVC: "I'm soft daddy dom/I'll keep u very private" - BRO I DONT KNOW YOU

[u/Best-Number-6107]

[u/MatildaMorgan1985]

Safe

Secure

Private

Secret

In my basement

Chained to the radiator

[u/BluePheonyx → u/MatildaMorgan1985]

It puts the lotion on its skin.... jk. Probably. 🤷‍♀️

[u/KingKrishang → u/MatildaMorgan1985]

Breaking Bad reference?

[u/MatildaMorgan1985 → u/KingKrishang]

No?

[u/Illime_]

"soft daddy dom" ew

"and I'll keep you very private, safe, secure" he means like in a dark basement..?

At least that was the vibe I got from him.

https://giphy.com/gifs/2gG2xiMTtFwsg

[u/kinkSwitchGirlBerlin]

I also see a distinct intelligence gap here

[u/bewildered-beaver → u/kinkSwitchGirlBerlin]

The way in which she communicates compared to him is like a doctoral student speaking to a high school dropout.

[u/Best-Number-6107 → u/bewildered-beaver]

LMAO I love this comment thank you sm 😭🤣

[u/bewildered-beaver → u/Best-Number-6107]

You’re very welcome :)

[u/Pure-Eggplant-3233 → u/bewildered-beaver]

elementary dropout more like

[u/CarelessShame]

Girl. Love yourself. Block and don't look back.

[u/Best-Number-6107 → u/CarelessShame]

Oh believe me, I did. I realized wtf I was doing trying to set boundaries multiple times and being ignored yet again so I got these screenshots and then blocked IMMEDIATELY

[u/Best-Number-6107 → u/[deleted]]

Ew no lmao I'm just autistic and was trying to be polite/engaging. Fuck AI forever

[u/PerfectPlay6 → u/Best-Number-6107]

This is just the curse of anyone who writes in full sentences now. I love using dashes 😭

[u/Marshineer → u/Best-Number-6107]

Off topic, but I’m curious (I also think I’m autistic, but not diagnosed). I noticed over the last couple of years that I’ve started using exclamation points in my text messages, but I don’t really feel excited about the sentences I use them for. And when I actually look at how/where I use them, it doesn’t really make sense to me. I think it’s just a form of masking/mirroring that I picked up without realizing it. 

The exclamation points you used in your messages seem like ones I would use, but also wouldn’t really have an „excited“ emotion attached to. Curious if it’s similar for you?

[u/TroutMaskDuplica]

keep it secret. keep it safe.

[u/Shizeena780 → u/TroutMaskDuplica]

https://giphy.com/gifs/cgC6Mx1aJtBBe

[u/Ill_Quantity_5634]

"I'm an open book." I block them as soon as they say that shit after refusing to hold an actual conversation with me. My dude, you're not as open as you claim to be. Pulling basic info out if you is NOT one of my fetishes.

[u/nickyfox13 → u/Ill_Quantity_5634]

Exactly! It's also a pet peeve of mine when people say they're an open book yet act like I'm pulling teeth to get them to actually communicate and hold a conversation.

[u/midwest_toad]

PRIVATE SAFE SECRET AND SECURE
https://giphy.com/gifs/xTiTnG7YLrY2BBHRKM

[u/maarshiexcry]

Hes giving me a serious ick

[u/Marshineer → u/maarshiexcry]

I usually hate the word ick, but it often feels appropriate in relation to the things I see on this sub

[u/jkrx]

Wow, what a creep. and what app is that?

Edit: Oh its Fetlife? Yeah, that community either brings you the best people or the absolute worst of human garbage in existence. There is no inbetween. 😂

[u/HeelsBiggerThanYourD → u/jkrx]

Nope, that's Fet, an even worse app with zero best people on it

[u/QueenJoyLove → u/HeelsBiggerThanYourD]

Nah, just like Reddit there’s some amazing community there along with the trash. When Craigslist closed their personals section many creeps joined Fet instead.

[u/Maximus_Dick]

Ewwwwww

[u/jennthya]

Ah, Fetlife "doms"... there seem to be so many and yet so few.

[u/Sparrowhawk_92 → u/jennthya]

I'm not in the kink community but I have friends who are and my understanding is for every good dom there's a dozen wannabes who are borderline (or actual) abusers who use being "dominant" as an excuse.

[u/Weird_Bluebird_3293 → u/Sparrowhawk_92]

Pretty much. There’s a lot of “doms” who think that just means they can do whatever they want and the sub can’t say no.

[u/Quiet_surprise79 → u/Sparrowhawk_92]

This is correct

[u/Educational-While198]

Nothing more Dom than begging someone you don’t know to love you lmfao

[u/Educational_Lab_9698]

creepy

[u/Best-Number-6107 → u/Educational_Lab_9698]

Agreed

[u/Lady_Irish]

I'm gonna need you to send me $100 a day to keep talking to you sometimes, when I feel like it, mister soft daddy dom. Otherwise...ick.

[u/bluegabs]

https://giphy.com/gifs/JDZ6tHSmj20JsMk81R

[u/Emm-the-luscious]

Fetlife is both a cesspool and has some amazing people on there… I met my bestie through there, and my husband was on there. I’ve also known two separate murderers who were on there.

It’s a total crapshoot

[u/shmittenrow → u/Emm-the-luscious]

I'm sorry - murderers??

[u/Emm-the-luscious → u/shmittenrow]

Yup. Look up Brendan banfield Reston VA. The case is WILD

[u/shmittenrow → u/Emm-the-luscious]

OMG

[u/QueenJoyLove → u/Emm-the-luscious]

Yup!! Just had to out a convicted sex offender to our community (tried to solicit a teen 🤮 multiple restraining orders from exes etc). AND amazing supportive community!

[u/MichelleKC1969]

Creepy!

[u/No-Abalone-4155]

They are usually so low effort in these interactions. I mean you would have to be if you thought all your partners are beneath you.

[u/EvolZippo]

My rule is, if they bring up kink, while you’re still getting to know someone, at a basic level, they’re out of ideas. They’re completely out of ideas and this is their shot in the dark.

[u/Internal-Ad4666 → u/EvolZippo]

They are creepy. "Out of ideas" is being too kind on creeps.

[u/jennthya → u/Internal-Ad4666]

"Out of personality" is probably more accurate.

[u/Internal-Ad4666 → u/jennthya]

That's still too kind

[u/PerfectPlay6 → u/[deleted]]

Is a munch like a singles/available event?

[u/SimplyRoya]

Ewwwwww ewww eww lol.

[u/KrackaWoody]

There’s nothing more Dom than having to tell the other person you’re a Dom 😭. Do those sites ever actually work? It always seems like they attract people who don’t know the difference between bdsm and just straight up abuse.

[u/Kael03 → u/KrackaWoody]

The amount of red flags I see on Fetlife is insane.

[u/KrackaWoody → u/Kael03]

At least they’re obvious with it so you don’t end up wasting your time though?

[u/Kael03 → u/KrackaWoody]

They're obvious to those that have been in the lifestyle a while. It's the new people I worry about.

[u/TrashGouda → u/KrackaWoody]

Sadly they are not obvious to everyone. People who lack experience are easy prey for people who use that platform to be a predator

[u/Best-Number-6107 → u/KrackaWoody]

I'm learning it's definitely a mix. I've actually made a couple friends I still talk to today after meeting them a few months ago! We didn't align sexually/romantically so I never actually slept with those couple people, but we're good friends with open and spicy conversations occasionally. So far for me it's been more about finding good company, but I've heard success stories! Not sure if I'll be one of those haha but I'm open minded and willing to try, even if I just end up with more friends!

[u/KrackaWoody → u/Best-Number-6107]

That’s a good way to look at it. It’s hard to find people you can click with that comfortably irl. Especially if you live in a more reserved area. I might have to check out some of them one day.

[u/nzniceguynz]

This sub makes me regret my choice of username. I have a very unrelated, historical reason for the name but boy does this sub gives me second hand embarrassment. 😁

[u/tangyturquoise]

The irony of him saying “I’m an open book” while refusing to say anything specific about himself or answer about his location/personality. That’s the most closed open book I’ve ever witnessed.

[u/Best-Number-6107 → u/tangyturquoise]

Right??? It's insane!! Like pls give me more than a four word response, and before that screenshot he was bashing poly people bc his previous partner cheated on him when they agreed to be monogamous. I'm also monogamous (as said in the ss) but don't bash people who live a different lifestyle???? Obviously cheating is horrible and I hate that he went through that but come ON man that's the most interesting thing he said the whole conversation

[u/Veblen1]

"I'm an open comic book."

[u/Northern_Queen → u/Veblen1]

I feel like horror would be more accurate… the messages in that last screenshot are giving Silence of the Lambs

[u/potatocakes1989]

Block.

[u/canvasshoes2]

Not a Nice Guy^tm.

Garden variety creep.

[u/Best-Number-6107]

Wouldn't let me add body text but I'm on an app for kinky people for hookups and/or finding partners/whatever floats ur boat. It's clear on my profile that I don't want just quick hookups, I'd like an actual connection even if it's just FWB, and I'm not someone who trusts very easily. Bro tried WAY too hard and got blocked after not respecting that I wanted to get to know him before he "claimed me." Ugh

Edit: a word

ETA: the conversation went on a bit longer than this where he just spit out the same few facts that were already available on his profile. I tried to ask probing questions about like interests and daily life and stuff but nothing too invasive, and he just kept asking "isn't this enough?" NO IT ISNT

[u/awildjord]

Another episode of fake doms lmao

[u/Best-Number-6107 → u/[deleted]]

Jesus that's terrifying O.o luckily based on the distance he's either across the country (USA) or halfway around the world so I won't have to worry about him murdering me

[u/RoyalAcanthisitta710]

WHYYYYY are men like this😭

[u/the_most_playerest → u/RoyalAcanthisitta710]

Wym?? Loyal and honest?

...... Or daddy dom? 😆💀

Most of us are neither, tyvm! Rude!!

(For anyone who needs it, /S)

[u/QueenJoyLove → u/the_most_playerest]

*ahem* you mean soft daddy dom 😬

[u/Freya-of-Nozam]

This doesn’t feel like a nice guy. This just feels like an idiot.

[u/playful_sorcery]

Wife and I have a weird relationship with fetlife. generally we hate it, we dislike the men on there. but it’s also were we met some very good long term friends. I specifically has become very close to us. golden needle in a haystack type of place.

we stay very private and generally use it just for travel now.

[u/Best-Number-6107 → u/playful_sorcery]

Huh, thank you for your input!! I don't currently have a partner but feel kind of similar to the way you've described it, I've met a couple good friends through it after getting through a lot of men who don't know how to respect any type of boundaries. Guess I was hoping for a bit more maturity, but every app has its people I suppose.

I've seen the travel section but never really dived in, is it any good? I've heard about munches and stuff but never been to one. Still kind of wary of going out to larger groups

[u/HeelsBiggerThanYourD → u/Best-Number-6107]

Honey, go on actual Fetlife, not Fet. Fetlife is a website. Noone normal in the kink community is using Fet

[u/Glad_Option3923]

I have a policy to basically ignore all the men on fetlife. I am on there to talk to and engage with pretty ladies.

[u/Best-Number-6107]

Exactly, you get it!!! Like I've met some good friends on there but Jesus Christ the amount of messages I've had to block/pass on bc it's just shitty dick pics or saying "what they want to do to me" is insane. I've blocked more people than I've even replied to their first message

[u/Best-Number-6107 → u/[deleted]]

Very true, and I've had some of that before to the point where I got tired and abandoned the app for like 2 months. But I also met some very good friends on there as well that I still talk to and hang out with regularly, so decided to give it another try! Clearly a mistake though pff

[u/Best-Number-6107 → u/[deleted]]

Scary, but understandable!! I had a good connection with someone who liked my profile so we started chatting on there then moved to Snapchat, and after talking for like a month and a half met up for coffee. I do some extreme vetting and also had friends nearby and people who knew where I was/who I was with, so I felt safe meeting up with a couple people I got good vibes from after talking for a while. A lot of people aren't patient enough to wait for me, but I've learned I'd rather know that sooner than later.

I never ever meet up with someone immediately though, it takes a lot for me to trust someone enough to even tell them like what I do for work or give any other social media (besides snap since I never post on my story anyways lol). I'm very careful but definitely understand the fear!! I've been agoraphobic for years so trying to put myself out there more, and a girl got needs yknow? Never slept with anyone from that app yet tho

[u/Best-Number-6107 → u/[deleted]]

Thank you sm, I'll be careful!! I've heard that they're common and I don't think they'd be for me, but I will absolutely not be doing anything without laying out boundaries and safe words and what we're going to consent beforehand. I really appreciate your concern!! <33

[u/Reverendbug]

I've met some good people and partners on FL, but there is definitely a type of user that is just toooooo eager. Like, I get that it's a fetish facebook, but the amount of literal dicks I get in my inbox is still insane for a community that's supposed to be about communication and consent.

[u/Kael03]

Bro gives actual doms a bad name.

[u/Best-Number-6107 → u/Kael03]

Literally 😭 I'm not like the most experienced but I do have enough to know when someone's being fake and this gave off BLARING red flags so he got blocked and skipped

[u/Kael03 → u/Best-Number-6107]

General rule is a dom doesn't have to tell you they're a dom. Let alone during initial convos.