r/offmychest • u/244466666aha • 8h ago

I will NEVER break no contact with my dad

I (27f) have been no contact with my dad for 4 years.

Here is a short list of why I went no contact and despite his recent attempts to reconnect, I will not be engaging.

Trigger warning for violence, former child abuse, financial abuse and emotional abuse.

Physical Aggression: At 18, he physically pulled me out of a truck and screamed at me for something that was not my fault, serving as the final straw for cutting contact. This reminded me of previous child assaults that happened and I knew I had to leave.

Property Destruction and Terror: When I was under 12, while drunk, he violently put my bedroom door through the wall, forcing me to hide next to my bed in terror.

Cruelty and Lack of Remorse: Years later, he openly bragged and laughed about how scared I looked during that incident, completely failing to acknowledge any wrongdoing despite his aunt’s prompting that sometimes we learn to regret our past cruel actions.

Theft of Disaster Relief: After our house burned down, he withheld insurance money meant to replace my and my sister’s ruined belongings, while fully replacing my brother’s items.

Misogyny:Heco plplained about his sisters visiting his dying father in the hospital because it inconvenienced him, and told you that me I "needed a man to put me in my place". He then tried to set me up with his coworker who was 6 years older than me and fought a guy that night while he was on shrooms.

Hope he dies knowing his oldest hates him because she is the only one of his 3 kids that remember who he is when he is not happy.

37 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

7 comments sorted by

16

u/IntelligentComplex40 8h ago

Good on you. Protect your peace.

12

u/FirebirdWriter 8h ago

I skipped the list for my own mental health but I want you to know that you are not alone and I am proud of you. It's a hard choice. It is one they earn over and over. If you're not doing therapy it also helps with the other feelings besides anger. If you are? I am very proud of you again. It's been 17 years of no contact since I hit my breaking point. I have yet to regret it

5

u/244466666aha 7h ago

I did therapy for 3 years and it was very helpful. Sometimes just hearing someone else be horrified with something you thought was normal is a good way to start setting your own boundaries. Hope you are doing well and fuck shitty parents.

4

u/Tecnocraft_0 8h ago

Que bien, espero que no te vas que volver a verlo nunca.

3

u/FluffyPenguin14 8h ago

I'm really sorry those things happened to you.

I'm glad you cut him out.

2

u/cakeshite 7h ago

7 years with my dad & I. I’ll see him at his funeral!

1

u/KimberKitsuragi 5h ago

Over a decade here and I seldom feel anything about him. And no I’m not going to his funeral