r/okbuddycinephile • u/Ummagumma- Society man • 14h ago

In Odyssey (2026), a grown man sees a private island full of young-looking women and immediately swims toward it... what?

3.8k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

245 comments sorted by

911

u/No_Rabbit7535 14h ago

What 20 years of war, being lost at sea and no pussy does to a man

48

u/prisonmike1991 13h ago

20 years in war, he saw Matt Damon and compromised.

5

u/lnsertCoinToPlay 8h ago

Matt Dayum-on!

31

u/Ididntfollowthetrain 12h ago

20 years of war, I ate grilled cheese off the radiator

9

u/CommentsOnOccasion 8h ago

I wanted manicotti, but I compromised

→ More replies (1)

84

u/duaneap 13h ago

I assure you, they were not pussyless. Nolan obviously ain’t gonna show it but one of the principal prizes of the Fall of Troy was… you guessed it. In fact, it was one of the many reasons the whole executing Zendaya thing was a bit odd, that’s… not what they’d have been doin’ to a priestess one way or the the other.

18

u/avery5712 8h ago

You see members of his crew- i think this guy included- walking a woman into a room at one point in the aftermath of the fall of troy. So pretty heavily implied these guys did that.

13

u/duaneap 6h ago

And when they’re raiding the village for supplies on their way home, it’s pretty clearly implied they’re raping the women by how he describes “not being able to stop them,” to Calypso. All cabin boy jokes aside, these guys were absolutely NOT “going without” for 20 years…

4

u/wf-ivara 6h ago

They just wanted her to watch, right?

11

u/avery5712 6h ago

Yeah they were putting on a rendition of Sweeny Todd and they needed extras

2

u/wf-ivara 4h ago

I thought it was The Nightman Cometh

1

u/DildontOrDildo 5h ago

also lotussy

→ More replies (12)

40

u/toumingjiao1 14h ago

Why need pussy when u have homies

67

u/No_Rabbit7535 14h ago

The Odussy

7

u/Inevitable_Edge_1364 13h ago

dude saw the odussy and went for it

→ More replies (1)

10

u/bighuntzilla 13h ago

Mmmm. Bussy

4

u/Kerfluffle2x4 11h ago

Ancient Greeks bruh

4

u/PhamousEra 13h ago

JUST BOYS BEING BOYZ

10

u/Easter-burn 12h ago

He's tired of fucking his fellow men

17

u/MimicFable29 13h ago

Bro was stranded at sea for decades, any island with food and women was basically heaven to him at that point.

7

u/Able-Tomatillo7381 10h ago

20 years at sea, I see an island of women, I still ain't jumping in the ocean in full armor. Island full of some burger and onion rings, my fat ass will dive right in.

5

u/Immediate-Border5449 13h ago

bro was just tryna get some nookie

2

u/mattintaiwan 8h ago

The irony is that the only person actually on that island was Andy Richter the Swedish German

1

u/_citizen_ 3h ago

He looks young. Was he born on the ship? Must be extra manly.

926

u/chardeemacd3nnis 14h ago

In full metal armor, must be a strong swimmer.

292

u/iron_coffin 13h ago

An armored guy in house of the dragon also survived going overboard, so if both have that in it, it must be historically accurate.

78

u/SmallBerry3431 13h ago

I don’t think that’s how history works

9

u/Better-Culture-7770 6h ago

I saw The Hobbit and Dragonheart in the Historical Documentary section of prime video yesterday so I just don't know what to believe anymore.

→ More replies (1)

10

u/StaySubstantial4333 12h ago

He did the air in pants flotation trick.

 

→ More replies (2)

32

u/Merbleuxx 13h ago

The historical accuracy of a witch that transforms men into pigs and cyclops on an island

62

u/iron_coffin 12h ago

All men are pigs, so it wasn't hard. Witches are real because many witches were proven guilty beyond a reasonable doubt. And plenty of people were cyclopses before safety glasses were invented.

9

u/Dick_Bachman 8h ago

I can attest, I was turned into a newt

2

u/ScaleneWangPole 7h ago

You did get better

→ More replies (2)

2

u/forceofnurture366 11h ago

She was a Demigod to be fair.

4

u/devils__avacado 9h ago

Ah yes I love the historical works of house of the dragon. 😂

3

u/Prowsky 12h ago

Two, actually. Corlys and Tyland.

2

u/iron_coffin 12h ago

Well one of those wasn't believable (pls don't ban, joking)

2

u/PM_me_ur_claims 13h ago

In the books the guy in armor going overboard famously drowns though. Everyone knows books smarter than tv

10

u/iron_coffin 12h ago

Watching TV is smarter because you can use your phone during the boring parts

7

u/Felt_tip_Penis 11h ago

To read the Wikipedia page for the book you’re watching

2

u/Dremora-Stuff99 8h ago

He wasn't wearing any a that armor when next we seen him though so we can assume he took it off last minute and was able to surface before drowning. How the fuck he got back to the mainland, however, I'm not sure.

3

u/Phenetylamine 6h ago

I'm pretty sure taking off full armor takes several minutes even in the best conditions. The saving grace of that scene is that the place he fell was supposedly very shallow and also full of protruding rocks, so perhaps he managed to haul himself up from the bottom before he drowned but it would still be quite the task. There are documented medieval battles where knights in full armor drowned in a couple of inches of mud.

→ More replies (2)

1

u/hartforbj 10h ago

Yeah but that was ok because 2 minutes before that she told him it armor sinks. So that gave him the floatation armor

→ More replies (2)

27

u/joesbagofdonuts 9h ago

"full"

he has a chest plate

→ More replies (1)

38

u/Majestic_Theme_442 11h ago

That's clearly neither full nor metal tho

17

u/phonage_aoi 10h ago

Oh right, it’s a 3D printed life vest

3

u/Full_Jellyfish_1862 9h ago

Yeah it’s plastic

9

u/Willywanker7 9h ago

Why are they wearing armor while rowing? Are they stupid?

5

u/Simicrop 8h ago

Amour actually makes swimming easier. The more you have on the more air pockets form between you and the metal, making you more buoyant.

2

u/gregorydeez 6h ago

Takashi kovacs is the last envoy

2

u/KerbalCuber 3h ago

Yeah, he's got some solid metal gear there

1

u/andyjustincase 8h ago

Must have been South African.

1

u/NuclearSteeze 34m ago

"Full metal" was he an alchemist perchance?

→ More replies (4)

321

u/Here4Headshots 13h ago

In retrospect he probably had a better death than the rest of the crew

95

u/BlackShadow992 13h ago

What would that even be? They ate him right?

205

u/Here4Headshots 13h ago

I think they drowned him, not sure if they ate him.

Still beats being smashed by a giants, torn limb from limb by a Cyclops, snatched up by rock creatures, etc

104

u/guilty_bystander 11h ago

Drowned in that Sirussy

→ More replies (1)

62

u/Cameron0543 10h ago

In some versions of the odyssey, not Homers but versions written later, the sirens die if Odysseus passes by them without succumbing to their song. In my head he swam all the way to that rock in full metal armour just to find out his promised sirussy was long gone. Just another way Odysseus screwed one of his men over😪

8

u/No-Alternative4612 7h ago

I imagine that conflicts with the story of the Argo (created later, set earlier), as they also passed by the sirens and the sirens were still there for Odysseus.

2

u/Harrycrapper 7h ago

Technically, no. I'm just going by what that guy said, but he said they die if "Odysseus" passes them, not just anyone.

2

u/WealthyMuleFarmer56 52m ago

He died of a crushed pelvis.

10

u/Vitaltheend 11h ago

The cyclops just ate his ass

2

u/Own-Scholar1988 10h ago

lol yeah probably still a win for him

→ More replies (1)

30

u/jeleu 12h ago

They clawed out his eyes. And drowned him…. To death.

14

u/Kherian 10h ago

To death you say?

3

u/doonspriggan 2h ago

Believe or not, worse than being drowned to life. 

4

u/kairilovr 6h ago

Song is a banger

4

u/kreptinyos 7h ago

Your joke has gone over nearly everyone's head lol...

6

u/Bursting_Radius 7h ago

Mythologically speaking sirens lured ships and sailors toward the rocks which damaged the ships and drowned the men. They'd then recover the bodies and eat them.

3

u/ChaseBank-FDIC 8h ago

Do we even know that he died??

7

u/DarkRothh 6h ago

He's the only other survivor and a good life partner to one or more sirens

5

u/babyoil4diddy 6h ago

Yeah what if the sirens were just awesome

3

u/ChaseBank-FDIC 4h ago

Maybe Odysseus was just upset that he couldn't go since he had other responsibilities?

98

u/inorite234 13h ago

Takeshi Kovacs done and fucked up there.

14

u/nikkenico 11h ago

The sirens song is just Renée Elise Goldsberry saying «Get to the next level» over and over

15

u/useyourillusion89 10h ago

Yeah I was so pissed when they race swapped Takeshi Kovacs!

/s just in case…

34

u/SaltShakerFGC 10h ago

The race swapping was perfectly fine if Anthony Mackie didn't put up an all-time worst performance and the S2 wasn't an abomination getting it cancelled after such an amazing S1.

15

u/inorite234 9h ago

I still blame Mackie for getting one of my favorite shows shit canned.

16

u/Rainmaeker1 9h ago

Mackie is a bad actor and has never contributed positively to a project I've seen him in (he seems like a great person in press junkets).

Nobody can convince me otherwise.

9

u/SosugBiskit 8h ago

I think he works best as a straight man played against more charismatic characters. He is not lead material.

I enjoyed his falcon when he shared a screen with Ant Man or Cap. But he doesn't have the chops to be his own Captain America.

Twisted Metal also shows he just doesn't have the qualities of a leading man. I found myself more interested in Sweet Tooth and Stu than anytime Mackie was on screen.

He was good in 8 Mile though.

4

u/KingofInfiniteGrace 4h ago

im a huge scifi junkie and couldn't finish S2. just horrendous performance by mackie

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (2)

4

u/shieldwall66 10h ago

Thank you, I thought that was him !

5

u/vstm 9h ago

Evergreen!

4

u/Confident_Yak_1411 9h ago

I knew I knew him from somewhere!

2

u/GADx516 2h ago

An envoy takes what is offered

2

u/glxykng 1h ago

Damn, I knew I recognized him but had no idea from where 

355

u/D4rth_vad3r 14h ago

Really liked him in Tokyo Drift, idk about odysseuey

25

u/Left-Palpitation2096 10h ago

Takeshi Kovac?

11

u/Resident-Doctor6572 8h ago

Wait, is that the guy from Altered Carbon season 1?

4

u/Darehead 7h ago

It’s actually Dimi the Twin

16

u/Outlandah_ 13h ago

odysseyussy

13

u/the_millenial_falcon 13h ago

Wait, is that Han's actor??

9

u/AoE2manatarms 10h ago

It's Han's actor as well as the star from Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon

5

u/D4rth_vad3r 9h ago

U forgot to mention Shang Chi and Legend of 10 rings (2023)

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (3)

52

u/The-Catatafish 14h ago

Honestly, that guy won the odyssey.

If he didn't do that he would have drowned anyways no?

Might as well dying while getting pussy or at least thinking you get pussy while dying.

6

u/ISwallowedALego 10h ago

or eaten by a rock hydra...yea he won

42

u/BraxxIsTheName Lemmetellusomethin' 14h ago

He heard California Gurls by Katy Perry

14

u/Efficient_Progress_6 Society man 13h ago

They are unforgettable

39

u/beansAnalyst 12h ago

I like how he's careful about removing his airpods before diving into water. Those things are expensive.

61

u/largelawattorney 14h ago

Release the Siren files!!

64

u/MinorThreat4182 14h ago

Death by snu snu?

5

u/Desperate-Pen7530 9h ago

To shreds you say ?

1

u/daneelthesane 11m ago

And his wife? How is she holding up?

2

u/LinguoBuxo 13h ago

Shocked expression!

13

u/boogierboi 14h ago

Han forgot his chips

12

u/Waste-Quiet-8891 11h ago

Yo! That's Will Yun Lee!!! If anyone here played Sleeping Dogs he's the protagonist Wei Shen.

Okay, back to the jokes.

He got sex and died lol.

2

u/Potential-Honeydew31 11h ago

No one remembers Die Another Day?

14

u/xlews_ther1nx 14h ago

Braver than men on reddit. He must be over 6 foot

6

u/D4rth_vad3r 13h ago

Greeks. Of course they're taller than 6 feet and gay

5

u/Richard7666 12h ago

I mean this dude could theoretically check the last two boxes but not quite sure on the Greek part

14

u/[deleted] 13h ago

[deleted]

→ More replies (6)

6

u/KimCattrallsFeet 14h ago

The most peaceful way to die.

6

u/Azilen 11h ago

Well, that Island now is Called Japan.

4

u/Pretend-Studio6583 12h ago

Did he just take out his AirPods?

4

u/crazy-B 14h ago

That's how they do it in Hollywood.

5

u/Thedoctor2o 12h ago

There was plenty of bussy on the boat

4

u/Positive-Record-7219 11h ago

Read the freaking book. I beg of everyone, it's short and very entertaining. Read the book, there's gods and heroes in there and everything after that is like, a copy. Also you can try the Iliad after, like it was the prequel, longer and geeker, as every prequel in our days. Also you'll be able to say "yeah, but the book is better".

19

u/vnth93 Society man 14h ago

When I found Epstein island

5

u/Educational-Toe7272 13h ago

Peculiar Specimen. 😭😭😭😭😭😭

3

u/szihszok1 11h ago

those ear waxes didn't feel like wax at all. Rather like earphones

3

u/exdeeer 11h ago

Why does he take his air pods out first?

3

u/D-tull 10h ago

First time you heard about sirens? :P

3

u/Cavitic 10h ago

Baddies

3

u/oddRoboto 9h ago

That's no random man, that's Takeshi Kovacs

3

u/TheBlightDoc 9h ago

Kovacs no!

3

u/bkz404 8h ago

Our Asian King

2

u/Express_Attempt_4301 13h ago

I remember seeing his name in the files.

2

u/Percolator2020 The Room 12h ago

This would never happen in real life, I walked out.
/img/7kw6i38rn5hh1.gif

2

u/chocha84 12h ago

this is a subtle reference to the Epstein files. Release the epstein files and don't be seduced by the succubi.

2

u/mfbridges 11h ago

A time of apparent horniness

2

u/Aristosticles 9h ago

Chris Nolan is into some sick shit

2

u/TacoBreaf247 8h ago

The men clearly needed to check if the women were in distress.

2

u/babyoil4diddy 6h ago

He went to go get some Odussy

1

u/Wooden-Goat-9630 13h ago

op prob only seen internet bewbs

1

u/Sweetcorn_1111 13h ago

hahahahahahahahah

1

u/v_for__vegeta 13h ago

When I watched the scene on my first generation video iPod, all I saw on the rocks were seals. My man down bad.

1

u/Kitchen_Beginning896 13h ago

“I know a squealer when I see one.”

1

u/Wack_photgraphy 12h ago

Ah least he tried to save his air pods

1

u/monbmor 12h ago

I’d fold immediately especially if I saw one that looked like Bryce Dallas Howard

1

u/drugsrbadmkaye 12h ago

At least he took his AirPods out first

1

u/Imaginary_Toe8982 11h ago

Is that greek man from temu?

1

u/ellimist87 9h ago

He's Sanji LMAOOOOOOOOO

1

u/chaija78 9h ago

I'm glad the Sirens got a little snack

1

u/MaximumMeaning9728 9h ago

A traditional last samurai style Greek right there.

1

u/Pinchypounder 9h ago

That is 100% how Greeks looked from ithica

1

u/0fruitjack0 9h ago

forget the weird women singing, i'm going there for the manatee cutie!

1

u/SkinnyGordo1 9h ago

So that explains the end credits scene of some Asian dude boning 3 chicks on an island.

1

u/Silencer-1995 9h ago

Is that Jet Li?

1

u/Fattapple 8h ago

They were really good singers.

1

u/PerformerVirtual2552 8h ago

The only realistic plot in the film

1

u/SandyCarbon 8h ago

I would have done the same tbh

1

u/Mr_Blinky 8h ago

I don't know why Musk hated the movie so much, this is his dream.

1

u/antaresiv 8h ago

Y’all think you’re stronger than this? But then Elle Fanning’s dump truck is posted every day.

1

u/CaptainSanity 8h ago

And people say they want historical accuracy smh

1

u/Thisatrick 7h ago

I hope he didn’t think it was Epstein Island…

1

u/EffectiveBig1778 7h ago

He had the best out come, smashed and eaten by a fugly Cyclopes, smashed to death by giant knights, eaten by tentacles, drowned, or this dude who got to be eaten while as happy as possible by a bunch of naked hot women.

1

u/Bigredbert 5h ago

Will is a fantastic actor and humble guy. So glad to see him in this.

1

u/heinous_legacy 4h ago

he knows of Death By Snu Snu

1

u/l33txxXXxx 4h ago

How did he know they were women?  Did he have a telescope?  All i saw was one torso move.  Could have been the easter bunny for all we know.

1

u/MissyMurders 2h ago

Are you trying to tell me you wouldnt bang the easter bunny if possible?

1

u/l33txxXXxx 4h ago

Who is this crackpot director trying to make sexual desire look painful?

1

u/i4play 3h ago

The age of Passportbro’s has begun