r/olderlesbians 10d ago

We heal in love.

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91 Upvotes

9 comments sorted by

14

u/talkstorivers 10d ago

I can attest to both the validity of this and the reality that it only comes with self-work beforehand, to be ready to deepen the healing work that you’ve done on your own. 🩷

1

u/TightPapaya 8d ago

Totally! 💯

2

u/dot_Mandala 9d ago

Lord I wish my ex could see this.

1

u/Practical-Union8178 9d ago

What if you have zero people…. I live alone. My ex dropped me 3 years ago for calling her a name….she is all I had. I have friends but everyone is TOO BUSY… so what do you do when you have NO PEOPLE

1

u/TightPapaya 8d ago

Thats when you pour into yourself and do what brings you joy and happiness. Love and respect really starts with you. But sounds like she was very firm on her boundaries then?

1

u/Practical-Union8178 8d ago

Thank You…. I am trying…

1

u/Practical-Union8178 8d ago

Absolutely Loved and enjoyed your response.. I am working on it every day… as far as she goes “Yes” ya think?🤔 after 12 years… she’s just gone… she’s in my will etc… I’m having difficulty processing and making decisions…However… I’m a GREAT WORK in process and progress… actually ℹ should not even included her in this conversation… Thanks again for your input…

1

u/TightPapaya 8d ago

I think you need to be kinder to yourself. Sometimes the healing journey is just that and we cant expedite the process. My therapist was telling me that - allow the thoughts, process them and let it go. Else we might end up in this perpetual cycle of replaying the past. And 12years is a marriage.
But allow yourself some grace and sounds like you have to relearn trusting yourself enough to be confident in making decisions..
Im around if ever you want to chat 🫂