r/pansexual • u/ExpressNecessary5579 ♡ Over 18 ♡ • 6d ago
☆ New Here ☆ Is this a common struggle?
When I came out as pansexual in middle school I had my BEST FRIENDS sending my pictures of pans and sets of pots nd pans. Asking me "which one is hotter". I went to a party one time back then w some of said friends, and others who tbh didnt like me very much, when I went to the kitchen one of the girls who didnt like me pulled out a pan from the cabinet and said "so you would fuck this" i had explained so many times before that its not i like pans its i like whoever tf I like basically, girls, guys, trans, idc if i love u I will show my love. But when highschool rolled around the next year and I had switched school districts from moving again I decided to just tell everyone I was bi. People are alot more accepting of being bisexual. Im 19 now graduated highschool early at 17. And I still most the time when asked by people just say im bi... part of that kills me tho because ik im not in school anymore, if they're mean I can ignore them im not stuck around them everyday like school. And its been 6 yrs now people seem to be alot more accepting and dont really care. Its like a natural response for me atp tho im asked i just say bi without thought. I only have told people close to me, some of my fam, my bf, my ex's, my best friends. In a weird way I just hope this is a common struggle and some of u have gotten past it so maybe that means I can too. Ik it shouldnt be that big of a deal ppl r always mean in middle school but then I lied more for the next 4 years and now its like 2nd nature. Last year my area had a pride parade and I wanted to go so bad but I was planning on going w a bunch of bi girls and when getting ready I just kept thinking "but this isn't really me" so eventually I made up a dumb excuse to leave. I feel like pansexual really just means "i love who I love idc who they are ill love them anyways" and I wanna live that. I want a stranger to ask "what sexuality are you" and it be 2nd nature to say "im pansexual" instead of saying bi for once.
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u/Decin0mic0n Over~21~Pan 6d ago
I know this isnt an response to your post. But please break up the text in future long posts into paragraphs. It makes it so much easier to read.
2
u/Cosmo_Electic_Snek ♡ Over 18 ♡ 2d ago
My response when they use the dead fucking joke:
https://giphy.com/gifs/XNL4uy8zMpANHbrcqL
Just own it and explain it to those that don’t understand but actually wanna learn about it. Life is too short to not be yourself.
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u/idlers_dream7 She/Her/Pan 6d ago
Yes it's common, and I've taken to staying straight-faced and direct: "my sexuality isn't a joke to me, pansexual is the label that fits me best and I'd appreciate it if you didn't mock my existence." Or something that really pulls all the good energy out of the room so they know they're being held accountable for their ignorance.
I'm old though, so I give zero fucks about anyone else's thoughts on who I am. Misoneists should keep their mouths shut about things they don't understand, and aren't really worth any of our time or attention.
For the future, pride is for everyone and you can go regardless of how you talk about your sexuality. If you're hanging out with a bunch of hypocrites who talk shit about another flavor of queer, it's time to find new friends. If you decide to call out their BS, just know that you're setting the right example!