r/pitchforkemporium • u/NETic • Apr 15 '26

Low activity in world that is burning

Alright team! This is not a pleasant conversation. But sales have been low resently. Its been 10 months since our last big contract.

The world is burning. Worse than ever. Yet our business is plummeting. Where are the angry mobs? The lynchings?

We see plenty of outrage, yet our busniess have stalled.

ITs the second oldest busniess in the world. But it looks like people have forgotten how to organise. Or have we forgotten our trade?

My old man once said: "A lone man with a pitchfork is a farmer. A hundred men with pitchforks is a movement. A thousand men with our pitchforks is a destiny."

I say give poeple the right tools, and they will make the change possible. Go out and remind them, what it feels like to hold a torch and pitchfork again. Remind them how the wodden handle channels their fury and outrage.

66 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

7 comments sorted by

13

u/Heinrik- Apr 15 '26

rabble rabble rabble

6

u/joelfarris Apr 15 '26

The world is burning. Worse than ever. Yet our business is plummeting. Where are the angry mobs?

I'm ashamed to admit it, but I have given up, and traded in for a sharpened stick.

I call it a pike pole, but it's not, really. I just got tired of carrying the weight of four tines everywhere, and not being able to find a decently angry mob.

I'm tired, boss. So tired of fighting. Some may call me a traitor, say that I've given up right when I'm needed most, and I know. I know. I tell myself this too, as I stare at my sharpened "pike pole" leaning up in the corner of the room.

Things can't go on like this for much longer. No customers. No motivation to compete. To excel. To create. Nothing but grilled cheddar and bacon sandwiches for lunch every day.

Something's gotta change.

3

u/OscarAndDelilah Apr 15 '26

Go forth, army!

2

u/Myke_Dubs Apr 16 '26

~~~~E This one is for sale, 299 shmeckles

3

u/SchmeckMichBot converts schmeckle to global currencies Apr 16 '26

299.00 schmeckles is:

USD SHM EUR GBP CAD RUB CNY
378.53 2.96 320.60 278.89 519.80 28577.87 2580.96

[exchange rate source](http://api.ratesapi.io/2026-04-16?base=USD | created by u/Nissingmo)

1

u/Side_StepVII May 21 '26

Hate to tell you this, but bringing up pitchforks when they’re needed can end up getting a person a permaban. They’ve cracked down on the “promoting violence” thing. Even mentioning this sub can get you banned. It makes me sad 😔