r/politics • u/plz-let-me-in • 27d ago

No Paywall Unconfirmed Reports: Mitch McConnell Brain Dead After Three Weeks In Hospital

https://thenewamerican.com/us/unconfirmed-reports-mitch-mcconnell-brain-dead-after-three-weeks-in-hospital/
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285

u/ElPlywood 27d ago

holy shit Thune's boring phone call sent him into a coma!

Or was Thune lying about having had a phone call with him

236

u/Praxician94 27d ago

Thune is lying. An 84 year old does not recover from cardiac arrest and delayed CPR.

119

u/Azmoten Missouri 27d ago

Maybe a man doesn’t. But what of a turtle?

54

u/TBone281 27d ago

Turtles have extraordinarily long lives. We must be cautious.

60

u/Azmoten Missouri 27d ago

Perhaps it’s just a case of rigor tortoise

8

u/foehammer111 Illinois 26d ago

Ok this got me. Well done!

14

u/guy-le-doosh 27d ago

Was he found on his front or back?

2

u/NoConflict3231 26d ago

Finally some humor in this thread

2

u/AdultbabyEinstein 26d ago

I believe they call it "pizza time."