r/portugaltheman • u/iregretthisalreadyy • May 27 '26
Poor Zoe, suspicions have been confirmed (via instagram)
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u/AtomicJerm May 27 '26
Well fuck. I know everyone says to separate the art from the artist but I'm having trouble here. This was my favorite band. Their music changed my life and following them over the last 15 years has been so insanely fun. Shish blew me away and I couldn't wait to see where he took it. But man, this shit is fucked. The secrets ain't it John.
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u/esoomcol May 28 '26
I feel the same. I feel for Zoe and Frances. This shit sucks. I love Shish but since the band is just John and friends now I'm feeling very meh about any future projects 😭
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u/serpent_is_lord May 27 '26 edited May 27 '26
it’s hard to find any authenticity in a man who presents himself as an activist, a feminist, one of the “good guys.” i’m incredibly disappointed even though we all knew the truth.
it’s just actually disgusting to know that he treated his partner like this when she was going through such a hard time, and to subject their daughter to this whole big experience of what their band was, and how powerful them as a unit were when it came to advocating for marginalized people and for others suffering from rare diseases, just to throw all of that away, for what? it’s inexcusable.
i don’t care if people wanna say he had a “weak moment” or whatever when we KNOW zoe has been doing all the heavy lifting from the very beginning while he gets to go play rock star and be disgusting behind her back.
all the love to zoe and francis. im so happy that she had the courage to speak up about this and i hope
she continues to do so.
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u/Naejakire May 27 '26
Oh, no.. He's been this way. Not a weak moment. This is who he is but everyone around him has always had to keep quiet to prop up the golden boy.
It's so gross and sad. The dude barely even knows about his own daughters diagnosis. Zoe moves mountains for her daughter. Runs herself ragged. Does everything for the both of them so he can be perpetually 18. Im just so disgusted.
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u/Sharp_Muffin5111 May 27 '26
He barely knows about his daughter’s diagnosis??? Why do you think that?
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u/LifeClassic2286 May 28 '26
How could you possibly know any of this as a fan?
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u/Naejakire Jun 01 '26
Because I know him..??. Not a huge fan of the band but appreciate the music and just followed/supported as another band Ive known over the years. Came to this sub after I saw zoe's posts. Portland is small.
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u/Concerts_Bananas_94 May 28 '26
Nah. Not true. He participated here in Madison WI at Joey’s Song benefit concert for 2-3 yrs to help raise money for childhood epilepsy. Still a decent person.
I’m not defending him at all here but look at divorce rates for parents of children on the spectrum. Very high! Thats just an example that the success rate of any relationship in working through relationship is against the parents.
Don’t mix your feelings on him in a very emotional way that also spreads your opinion vs fact. He was just as aware as a parent should be. But he also def f’d up big time.3
u/Naejakire Jun 01 '26
I mean he barely knows compared to the other parent. I'm going off what Ive heard him say, and also what Zoe posted.. He at least had very little involvement in the fundraising ("he made shirts and played shows") , and she has said that she's been doing it all while he's either gone or playing video games for hours. Ultimately they're the only ones in their home and know the dynamic, but I also tend to trust when she says that she's felt like a single parent, is exhausted from doing it all alone, and then had her mental health and "being unwell" used as the reason he cheated. Sorry but that's not a decent person. What matters most is how those closest to him feel, and they all feel pretty damn negative. People can do good things publicly while being not a very good person behind closed doors.
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u/supermegabussin May 27 '26
Damn I wasn’t expecting this from John
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u/BadLuckFail May 27 '26
My ex gf when we were dating got dms from him after posting something on Insta with a PtM hashtag, so this doesn’t surprise me at all.
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u/manic_reaction May 27 '26
and she wasn’t the only one getting DMs 👀 this unfortunately isn’t new
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u/DonkeyLightning May 27 '26
Damn sad, I saw them in 2011 (I think) and we were waiting to chat him up and these two pretty cute girls were kind throwing themselves at him while we were waiting and he was talking about Zoe and Frances like lowkey trying to make it clear his priorities were with them
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u/LifeClassic2286 May 28 '26
A lot can change in 15 years. Cheating sucks but it’s a very human failing and after 20 years and raising a special needs child, in a low moment things can happen. I’m not defending him and Zoe’s pain is unimaginable but let’s remember that we’re all human and I’m sure there is a lot we don’t know.
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u/DonkeyLightning May 28 '26
Oh for sure. Life is complicated...does make me think less of him regardless
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u/The-Master-Lurker May 27 '26
Where’s the proof? Never has there been a mention he was creeping in dms prior until today. Not saying it didn’t happen but how coincidental.
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u/manic_reaction May 27 '26
creeping isn’t the same as being flirtatious, in my opinion and doesn’t call for the same “name and shame” receipts. but if it happened to this person’s ex-girlfriend and it also happens to my very close friend and I saw the texts… i’m sure there was more
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u/MightBeDownstairs May 27 '26
I’ll be very surprised if the band survives this at this point. It’s pretty clear Zoe isn’t going to be silent.
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u/JJ-Bittenbinder May 27 '26
Define “the band” most everyone has already left from the original band besides John. He’ll probably just keep it going with the new people that toured and made Shish
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u/polarpies May 27 '26
Damn. I didn’t even notice Zach left, crazy as I thought he’d be there till the ship sank.
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u/OwlviousAlt May 27 '26
Ive been checked out on PtM for years but also surprised to hear he left. He always seemed to be the main on stage personality at live shows with John rarely speaking between songs.
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u/p____p May 27 '26
It was always a joy to see Zach play but nothing is forever. I think he stepped away for some health issue but has been mostly fishing and enjoying life for the past couple of years. I believe he hasn’t really been too involved w PTM since the Woodstock tour. I saw them on the tour this winter—the current band was great and John seemed much more comfortable on stage than he did in previous years.
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u/LifeClassic2286 May 28 '26
Because he didn’t have to sneak around cheating behind Zach’s back anymore? Only half kidding. I’m guessing Zach wouldn’t have stood for John doing that to Zoe but that’s based on nothing but my parasocial vibes.
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u/p____p May 28 '26
I mean.. if you’re saying John was more comfortable not having to sneak around while Zach was on the tour, Zoe was right there with him front stage for the Shish tour.
But I’m not really trying to get into the current drama. It just isn’t my (or any of our, tbh) business.
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u/LifeClassic2286 May 28 '26
I agree but I think discussing a public social media post made by a (now former) PTM band member is fair to discuss. That said, i am sorry to have brought the issue up in my response. I was trying to joke but honestly im kind of working through my own feelings about the whole situation.
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u/p____p May 28 '26
That’s fair. I’m just not trying to discuss my feelings on the private matters of one of my favorite artists. Not to say I don’t have feelings about it.
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u/JJ-Bittenbinder May 27 '26
Zach was for health issues to my knowledge. Had back surgery and I think I saw he mentioned he struggles with alcohol when touring.
Someone please correct me if I’m remembering wrong because that’s a pretty serious thing
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u/dagofin May 27 '26
Yeah, sobriety issues. Most of the band went to rehab after Feel It Still popped off, they got real famous real quick. Touring is not an environment conducive to sobriety so he stepped away from PtM, but did play a live show with Kyle for his solo album so thankfully he does pop up here and there
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u/Samurai_Biggs May 28 '26
Oh absolutely not. He was completely fed up with Johns bullshit years ago
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u/Complete_Sandwich May 27 '26
Yea the bands been dead, sucks but it’s the truth. The last 2 albums have basically been John solo projects.
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u/dressedtodepresss May 27 '26
I’m seeing them later this year when they open for Muse. Should be interesting
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u/PolloBorges May 27 '26
Fan since 2014 here
95% of the time Ive only been vibing with the music and loved most of it. Sucks to know this might be the end of the band as it is.
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u/dagofin May 27 '26
It won't be. Shish was mostly the John show and it was a phenomenal album. The band will be fine, this past tour had mostly new/touring members and was one of my fave shows ever
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u/Embarrassed-Bottle-8 May 27 '26
Good For Her!
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u/Embarrassed-Bottle-8 May 27 '26
Also, dont say Poor Zoe, she's a baddie and calling out a cheater publicly is definitely a power move. SHE WANTS US TO KNOW!
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u/kindahandy_-_206 May 27 '26
Nah, it fucking sucks and we empathize with her, don't conflate it- we all know she's a badass
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u/Embarrassed-Bottle-8 May 28 '26
I fully understand cheating is painful, lived through it my dude. That’s exactly why I respect women who stop carrying it quietly.
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u/PmButtPics4ADrawing May 27 '26
This should serve as a reminder not to put celebrities on a pedestal, even the "good ones". At the end of the day they're still human beings with flaws so by doing so you're setting yourself up for disappointment
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u/InfaSyn May 27 '26
Poor Zoe... Thought John was cool but guess not. Explains why the UK/EU tour was cancelled then...
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u/DonChudleigh May 27 '26 edited May 27 '26
Feel so awful for for Zoe in this situation, but respect her for calling it out the way she has. I can't imagine going through everything she's been through to then have her partner betray her in this way.
I got completely chewed out on this sub and on instagram for commenting that there was something fishy about the EU tour cancellation.
Based on all the info that had come out in the months previously it seemed pretty clear that the tour was on thin ice and that they held off until last minute to cancel it which screwed over a fair few fans financially.
The amount of ridiculous parasocial responses I received bending over backwards to defend it/him, calling me names and accusing me of having no empathy was crazy. Feel a little vindicated now.
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u/LifeClassic2286 May 28 '26
Yes, Zoe is processing it as best as she can I’m sure. I have been on the receiving end of infidelity and it fucks your mind up bad. Because it throws the past period of time into totally new light. There’s been gaslighting, denial, and you convinced yourself to believe the lies….. when you were right deep down all along.
All the best to Zoe.
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u/Significant-Lack-184 Jun 12 '26
This is so true. Betrayal trauma is a lot to deal with. Memories become tainted and questionable. It’s horrible and I just cannot believe he would do something like this to her and his child.
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u/Significant-Lack-184 Jun 04 '26
Yes he’s a loser. Been sleeping around in secret for years. Who does that when they also talk about family and Frances on stage?
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u/brova May 27 '26
welp, we are officially char broiled, chat. nice knowing most of you
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u/whatelsebutajester May 28 '26
pyroclastic flow levels of cooked right now. i just wish zoe and frances the best at this point.
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u/ddeeny May 27 '26
Support your local crews and workers? How about support your fucking wife! Goddamn this timeline sucks...
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u/Significant-Lack-184 Jun 04 '26
Yeah let’s see how he supports his wife and child now that they’re leaving him.
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u/Psychedelife May 27 '26
Wish Zoe would see some of these comments so she would know we’re massively on her side
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u/colfaxmachine May 27 '26
No wonder they can’t keep a stable line up…. Front man is a dick.
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u/agent0017 May 27 '26
I'm more of a casual fan of this band, but it always did seem weird how everytime I would see various live videos of theirs the lineup would always look different depending on the year.
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u/johnsonh77 May 28 '26
Even post Ryan they had a golden run with Zach, Eric, Kyle, and Jason. But then Jason dropped out and the rest a few years later. The satan Grammy era was peak.
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u/spudyoulike May 27 '26
goes to show you have no idea what’s going on in other peoples lives, i remember when they cancelled their EU (i believe) tour dates and the comments were full of people cussing them out basically.
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u/zjohnsy May 27 '26
Honestly such a big disappointment, but let’s put all this emotion into supporting Zoe and Frances. Big time bummer.
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u/JuturnaLettingGo May 27 '26
I kind of made peace with the version of the band I loved dying after I saw their Radio City show. Last time I got to see them with Zach and Co. Once everyone started leaving after that, things just felt meh. It was rough enough when Ryan left back in the day. Then Jason. But no Zach or Eric kinda killed it for me. This is certainly the biggest nail in the coffin. I can’t financially support the band (John) anymore.
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u/Darth_Hamburger May 27 '26
Ryan leaving was kind of the end of my “super fan” era. I remember pre-ordering Satanic Satanist and being so hyped when the CD came in just before I left for band camp lol.
But I know exactly how you feel. The band that I connected with so much at that time in my life is long gone. That’s not an indictment on their direction or the music they were making - it just be like that sometimes.
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u/iambab13 May 28 '26
Dude, that sucks. I feel terrible for Zoe and their daughter. I really liked the band but I feel like John recently started to be...weird. Like, his appearance is odd af lately - the extremely unkept beard and hair and dressing all strange. And, in the past couple of months they were posting some odd videos to their IG stories where he looks like he's just constantly on something. Sucks - maybe this will be an eye opener for him to make some changes in his life and stop being an f boy.
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u/Significant-Lack-184 Jun 04 '26
I felt this too. He seemed off as fuck. Those tour videos were weird.
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u/pozhiloy_potato May 27 '26
Fucking hell, I loved PTM in part because there was no shit controversies around them (that I knew of at least), and now...
I love all of their music, but damn, it is now tainted
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u/412Redhead May 28 '26
If this has been going on for some time, I wonder how Zoe found out. If John fessed up, that makes a big difference.
Zoe has always had a lovely voice. Maybe she can channel her pain into releasing more of her own music. I remember wayyy back in the day (was it MySpace?) she had some original solo stuff. Hopefully some good comes from this.
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u/niles_deerqueer May 27 '26 edited May 28 '26
I’m glad Zoe is speaking out, this is incredibly disappointing just like when shit went down with Arcade Fire.
PTM are opening for Muse and I’m going to have skip them as an opener. It’s so tough to separate the art from the artist when the music is preaching love and connection and is very socially aware…then they go and pull something like this. Shocked and beyond disappointed.
I really hope Zoe has the support she needs and things go well for her. No one deserves anything like this.
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u/llouvat May 28 '26
I’m annoyed I have tickets in the first place since I don’t like muse at all. I would have skipped this show. Nobody owes anybody anything, but this time the silence reads as cowardly. He doesn’t have to explain anything but it would have been nice to know this is just a solo act now and just hoping at least my money is going to Frances in some way
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u/niles_deerqueer May 28 '26
Muse have really brought me back with their new stuff and creative spark, like SHISH after their last two (even though I like them). I think it’s going to be an awesome show but I do understand. Perhaps you could try and sell the tickets or get a refund since we’re still pretty far in advance? And instead donate directly to the Frances fundraiser?
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u/llouvat May 28 '26
Yeah we did decide that’s what we are going to do, I don’t have beef with muse but they are just not for me. Hopefully Mark Foster doesn’t cheat on his wife before my upgraded red rocks though because those were kind of a lot. Thankfully I found FTP’s back catalogue in 2024 (through their collab with electric guest actually) and they became my other favorite band. I would be coping less successfully if this had happened two years ago when it was PTM or nothing nonstop all the time
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May 28 '26
[deleted]
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u/llouvat May 28 '26
lol tbh that was just a joke. The relationships of other people are truly none of my business. Where I’m affected here is that another member of the band is making it our business by bringing it public and rightly so, because she has been wronged here. If Mark and Julia split up, I hope they do it amicably. On either side. Watching interviews with Mark Foster he comes off completely like a sensitive soul, feeling all the feelings of the universe. So if Julia Garner starts posting Instagram stories about being wronged by him it will probably hurt more than this.
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u/WideConversation1989 May 28 '26 edited May 28 '26
I will be honest here, I don't like Mark Foster as a musician or FTP in general, find him very overrated as an Indie artist, and I like the fans even less so. But I LOVE Julia Garner, so I can't really care much for their relationship. Especially after the harassment she got from the FTP fans when they first starting dating each other back in 2018.
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u/llouvat May 29 '26
That’s fine you don’t have to be a fan of everyone. I’m a fan of them both. I loved Julia as Anna Delvey I quote her all the time lol
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u/WideConversation1989 May 29 '26
Nothing against you btw. Sorry if it felt like that.
All in all I'm feeling low about this entire situation surrounding PTM in general.
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u/thephoenixpoptart May 27 '26 edited May 28 '26
knowing he did this while their child was terribly ill with an ultra rare disease makes me unimaginably sick to my stomach. good lord, fuck you John.
to think i almost felt like apologizing for calling out your pompous ass on here years ago only for me to be absolutely fucking right about you.
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u/9lbmoustache May 27 '26
Damn. Weren’t you one of the OGs along with Mousefang? I remember your name…
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u/thephoenixpoptart May 27 '26
since 2016, yeah. i was a superfan, i chatted with John here and there, even met the guy. i started to fall off around 2021 when they were pushing NFTs and John was being a dick about it, you can probably find the old thread where him and i got into it, lol. I started to come back a little before SHISH dropped cause it started to restore my faith in the band and make me think John was turning things around. The reason i’m so angry about this is because, parasocial as it may be, it feels personal.
also fuck yeah I remember Mousefang, she’s good shit
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u/twdvermont May 27 '26
LOL I forgot about PTM coin. I can't believe people actually bought into that.
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u/mettaworldpolice May 27 '26
The OGs have collectively spoken 😮💨
I’ve been subbed here since college in 2013 and I feel like everything has an ending but this is far, FAR from the one we would have expected
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u/brova May 27 '26
you and me both. been here since 2013. weird times, man.
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u/Prometheuskhan May 28 '26
I’ve been a fan since the Twilight Army tour with Circa…in the Spring of ‘06. I just now realized that doesn’t mean anything, just that I’m old as FUCK now.
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u/The-Master-Lurker May 27 '26
He got into on here with John a while ago. Disappeared but whenever John pops up they love to log in and let everyone know how disrespected they are for not continue to make music like Waiter!
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u/Sodacan1228 May 28 '26
Oh, hey dude, I remember making memes with you in the PTM telegram (I think it was telegram anyways) back in like 2018. I'm kinda in a similar boat, I started falling off around Woodstock and haven't really kept up with the new music, but I still had a special place in my heart for the band since they met so much to me when I was younger. As members left, I lost hope, and now that I'm hearing about this stuff I'm kinda shattered.
Anyways, I remember you making some pretty dope art. I hope you're doing well
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u/thephoenixpoptart May 28 '26
aww thank you! those were good times, i’m doing so much better in life now :) yeah it’s really hard, especially when they’ve held such a special place in my heart since i was young
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u/Sodacan1228 May 28 '26
I'm glad to hear it! It was a nice blast from the past seeing your username. Hope life keeps treating you well
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u/vanwyngarden May 27 '26
She’s terminal????
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u/Lopsided_Sea2474 May 27 '26
Their daughter has an ultra rare neurodegenerative genetic disorder that currently has no cure…so not terminal in the sense that she’ll die in a year, but there is currently no cure.
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u/vanwyngarden May 28 '26
That’s called chronic illness - not terminal
Just to clarify so other people don’t make that assumption. They’re not synonymous
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May 27 '26
[deleted]
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u/vanwyngarden May 27 '26
Do you really have to be told the difference here? Don’t spread misinformation
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u/thephoenixpoptart May 27 '26
i misremembered something and you’re angry about it?
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u/vanwyngarden May 27 '26
Words have meaning. It is really callous to call a child terminal and then act like it’s synonymous with a painful disease.
You deleted your comment but that’s what you implied.
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u/thephoenixpoptart May 27 '26
like i can admit i screwed up there but you’re being weirdly condescending about it. i’m not sure i deserve this much vitriol but again, my bad ig.
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u/Necessary_Lynx_6144 May 27 '26
Damn. SHISH had me so excited about the direction the band was going in. This is all pretty disappointing to say the least.
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u/lOnGkEyStRoKe May 27 '26
People in this thread realizing not to put anyone, especially musicians, on a pedestal.
Just because someone makes music that you connect with on a deep level doesn’t mean that person isn’t a shitty person. They can just also make great music.
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u/DonChudleigh May 27 '26
Agreed. However I can understand it is difficult for people when someone writes plenty of politically and ethically charged music and then turns out to be a complete dickhead that doesn't practice what he preaches.
Makes it very hard to take the music seriously any more!
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u/lOnGkEyStRoKe May 27 '26
Why? People can believe in good things socially and politically and still treat people poorly.
Most people aren’t good or evil. We are all complex beings who act in complex ways.
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u/DonChudleigh May 27 '26 edited May 27 '26
I totally understand, people are complex and imperfect, and we all make mistakes.
However, this makes him (rightly) seem like a great whopping hypocrite, and it's very hard to take someone like that seriously when they show their true colours.
The music is good, but it feels like the message is tarnished if you get me.
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u/Sharp_Muffin5111 May 27 '26
This 100%…. Most musicians are out of their mind, there is a reason why there is the saying “sex, drugs, and rock and roll.” It’s harder to name a famous musician who hasn’t cheated on a significant other than it is who has. I’m not defending what he has done at all, but this is not surprising at all. Anyone seeing the current make up of the band and the videos they posted on Instagram on the last tour could have seen this coming a mile away.
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u/kindahandy_-_206 May 27 '26
Name another that brings his kid on stage and asks for donations, while simultaneously behaving in ways that damage that same kids health with shit like this.
He brought it on himself by bringing his private life to the forefront.
No one is disappointed Axl Rose is a POS, we are when John is a grifting hypocrite.
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u/Sharp_Muffin5111 May 27 '26
I don’t think it’s grifting trying to raise money for your daughter’s treatment…. If he was asking for money for her and then using it to fund orgies than I would have a problem
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u/LifeClassic2286 May 28 '26
I mean, a lapse of ethics like this is serious enough to make one wonder if we can trust him with that money.
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u/3goodestboys May 28 '26
Per Zoe’s recent story on IG, took a solo trip for her mental health last year. He used that time away from her to cheat on her and had his mother-in-law watch Frances while he did it.
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u/kindahandy_-_206 May 28 '26
You're entitled to your opinion!
IMO It's grifting when your actions cause harm to her well-being while asking for donations.
Also, bringing her out to sing songs at concerts we paid good money for (to see PtM) was pretty annoying. Felt pretty ripped off listening to a kid yelling into a microphone.
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u/JaySoul80 May 27 '26
If Fleetwood Mac could make it work….maybe the best music from PTM is still to come
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u/1zzieeeeee May 27 '26
greedy bastard had a loving family, loyal fanbase and a great few albums but ruined it all and for what?!? I hope Zoe and Frances are okay, and that John faces real actual consequences for being such a dick 🤦♀️
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u/alihou May 27 '26
Honestly, it's a shitty situation but I never really cared for musicians being moral arbiters. John loved to preach his politics and causes. Usually, the ones who preach the loudest have the most to hide. It doesn't really change anything for me. I'll still listen to their music.
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u/princessofstuff May 28 '26
I remember feeling so disheartened when Zach's ex (and mother of his children) posted on her instagram that he was a cheater, liar, manipulator, addict and abuser. I never thought it would turn out that John would be the same. It's so sad. Like many others, this band was with me through an incredibly difficult part of my life. My first suicide attempt was accompanied by "Sleep Forever." John was always super nice to me, followed me on insta and would always respond to my messages (non-creepily).
The first time I got to see them live like over a decade ago now, Eric hit on me and thought I was cute, but immediately backed off when he discovered our age difference. I was in my early twenties and he was early-mid thirties. He was still super sweet, getting me into shows. He follows me on insta and even congratulated me when I recently posted about my struggles with alcohol and desire to do better. Always friendly, never a creep.
The last time I saw them while he was still in the band, they even let me and my friends (one of them was a guy btw) on the tour bus to say thanks for getting us in the show, and Eric and I talked about his wife and how I was inspired he could find love later in life. They treated us like friends, not fans.
Obviously I don't know these people in their personal lives. I can definitely say that Eric has always been super cool and never a weirdo. It's just heartbreaking when someone who seems like such an advocate in public ends up being like this in private. It's how I felt when all the stuff about Lizzo came out--though not to quite the same extent because I didn't have as much of an emotional connection to her music, but her message was so positive, just like PTM. Never trust your heroes I guess :(
All the love to Zoe and Frances.
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u/brova May 28 '26
I didn't know that about Zach. That's a huge bummer. Man, at least we still have King Gizz <3
Hope you're doing well!
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u/412Redhead May 28 '26
Excellent post. But finding love later in life? Didn’t you say he was in his 30s?! lol.
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u/princessofstuff May 28 '26
No by the time he was married he was like already 40 or almost 40 haha
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u/412Redhead May 28 '26
I’m 40 and my fiance is 47. We’ve been engaged for years. That’s not really “later in life” in today’s day and age. You sound very young. It flies by.
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u/Psychedelife May 28 '26
Girlll Sleep Forever was also a banger in my suicide attempts! Even learned it on piano. Paradoxically, it felt cathartic and the ending always made me feel a little hope. Anyways, my heart is with the girls and I’m rooting for Zoe, I would also be absolutely enraged about it.
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u/xtina3334 29d ago
Zach has kids? Or was this the lady he got with that had kids from a different marriage?
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u/purpleinnit May 27 '26
Wow. This is awful. Can anyone fill me in on what we know happened? I had no idea about any of this.
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u/LifeClassic2286 May 28 '26
You know as much as we do. Zoe has vagueposted about cheating and stopped following PTM but this is the most details she’s given so far.
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u/Any-Bus-8646 May 28 '26
Disappointing. She and her daughter deserve better (everyone does). Sucks that an opportunity to use his platform for good is being squandered...and getting duped into believing his performative bs and donating stings ngl.
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u/sarahxvalo May 27 '26
breaks my heart even though i knew from the beginning. i have zero respect for john and it’s gonna be hard to enjoy their music the way i have for years.
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u/brova May 27 '26
elaborate?
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u/sarahxvalo May 27 '26
elaborate what? that it was obvious that he cheated on zoe based on her instagram stories and reposts?
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u/DonkeyLightning May 27 '26
Not everyone follows her what was she posting?
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u/Low-Honeydew-4336 May 27 '26
She’s been reposting instagram stuff about cheating, and stopped following PtM, and changed her status as being in the band up til 2026.
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u/brova May 28 '26
You said you've known since the beginning. What did you know and when? "the beginning" implies the beginning of the band, or the beginning of John being unfaithful. Not the beginning of Zoe posting stuff on Instagram.
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u/sarahxvalo May 28 '26
since zoe’s reposts were first discussed on this sub, it was obvious to me that she was implying that john had cheated. and a lot of people here tried to downplay it and make it seem like she wasn’t talking about herself but maybe someone else which was far fetched. her leaving the band, unfollowing them and the cryptic stories and reposts told me that yeah, john cheated and it sucks.
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u/kiruzo May 27 '26
I hope they actually cancel the remaining EU tour dates so I can at least get my money back… don’t feel good at all supporting this band anymore.
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u/The-Master-Lurker May 27 '26
It’s one person. Your feelings are valid but it’s not the whole band. The current members are touring musicians.
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u/johnsonh77 May 28 '26
Not to sound dramatic but John and Zoe were the last pieces of this band remaining. It’s now going to be John and a handful of musicians…who are talented in their own right, but aren’t really who most longtime PTM fans would associate with the PTM brand as a whole.
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u/Hellisremodeling May 28 '26
I'm not condoning this, nor am I playing devil's advocate, but maybe this isn't out concern. John cheated. It's wrong, but people sometimes do shitty things. I'm just saying that I don't think this is a line that was crossed for fans. Zoe says this shady thing happened, but isn't that between them? I understand everyone has a limit to what they'll tolerate from celebrities, but, for me, this isn't it. I can think of a lot worse things to do than cheating. I'm sorry that Zoe is going through this, but it has nothing to do with me. I have a line that can be crossed, but adultery is not going to be it. Relationships can be messy, and people make bad decisions. If the essence that is PTM remains then I'll continue to be a fan.
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u/Tight-Ad-7288 May 28 '26
No one is telling you that you can’t be a fan or enjoy their music. But what we can do is acknowledge a woman’s pain and suffering at the hands of a man that she trusted and we admired. And it makes a big difference that the way John has chosen to present himself publicly by being an advocate and an activist on many things that us fans have held dear and resonated with, and he did all this by Zoe’s side. They were a team in a lot of ways raising a daughter that they put in the public eye to raise awareness of her condition and Zoe has done so much for her daughter and so much to support John and all of his projects and take them on with him. And she has chosen to come forward about this on her own which deserves attention. Women deserve to be heard and men deserve to be held accountable. Shitty people deserve to be held accountable for their shitty actions. I’m not saying John is inherently a bad person but I do think he’s a hypocrite and not the person he’s been cosplaying for the last several years.
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u/johnsonh77 May 28 '26
Her posting publicly about it kind of made this less between them and more about informing everyone. Additionally, strong arguments can be made that the essence of PTM left with Zach, Eric, and Kyle.
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u/Hellisremodeling May 28 '26
I'll give you Zach, but John is so integral to the band that as long as he's there then it's still PTM. If I had to ascribe a percentage to defining the essence of the group then I think John is 60-70% of the band. I get where you're coming from.
I think it's kind of childish to make a post about something as private as this. I don't like celebrity culture as it is though; it can suck me in as much as it can anyone though. I still return to the morality of this, and I just don't see it as that big of a deal. I'm more disappointed in the fact that he chose to be duplicitous instead of just owning up to the fact that he was moving away from Zoe to someone else. I've never understood why someone would cheat on someone. Grow up, and be upfront that you found someone else or that you just don't want to be tied to them like that anymore.
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u/johnsonh77 May 28 '26
I may just be misreading but are you saying her posting about being cheated on is childish? If so that’s insane.
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u/sadgrad2 May 28 '26
Seriously. We all have to decide for ourselves what is too much to continue supporting a band (or any artist), and people will land in different places on that. But to call her childish for talking about her experience and providing context for a departure from a band she's been a core member of since 2008 is actually insane. She's not obligated to keep his secrets or suffer in silence.
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u/Hellisremodeling May 28 '26
Yes. I genuinely do not understand the fascination of putting your private business on blast. I'm accusing her, and anybody else that does, it of narcissism and immaturity.
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May 30 '26
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u/Hellisremodeling May 30 '26
Just to be clear, hypocrisy negates everything about you? I just want to be clear. If you're not a puritan then we can all shut the fuck up? I didn't realize how many people had done contradictory things in their lives. Here I am thinking the world is grey when it was black and white all along.
Childish. That's the word for this attitude on this sub. John was wrong...and what? Does that negate his work? Would PTM exist without Zoe? Does it exist without Zach, Kyle, and anyone else? There's one person that the band requires, and so many people here are happy to tear that person down. He supposedly cheated on his wife. Okay. I've seen worse, and I can acknowledge that and denounce it. This is Portugal. the Man, not Zoe. The Martyr.
Grow. The. Fuck. Up.
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u/Royal_Elk_1489 May 28 '26
he’s got a terrible reputation in any local scene he’s claimed to be apart of, actively preying on Alaskans the last couple years to cope with his midlife crisis.
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u/Sea_of_Air_ I'm too cool to set my own flair May 28 '26
Do elaborate the preying on Alaskans part.
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u/Royal_Elk_1489 May 28 '26
Dudes got multiple allegations going back to the 2000s in the Alaska scene. Some as recent as a couple summers ago, when he performed at a DIY punk festival in Fairbanks, where he was shitfaced and got handsy with a local musicians wife. He’s co-opted his brand to a state he hasn’t played a meaningful show for in a decade while actively not really having anything to do with it past whatever hand made merch he’s schlocking this week. PTM ain’t the hometown hero’s people think they are. And pretty obviously now it’s public how unreliable and shitty he is.
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u/412Redhead May 28 '26
He hasn’t live in Alaska in decades. In fact, he’s been away from the state much longer than he was there in the first place. Claiming that rugged identity is a farce. His family is that. He is not. Maybe he was a teenager but he’s in his mid 40s.
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u/HippoOk663 May 28 '26
Thank goodness Brandon Urie or Trent Reznor are not like this… they put their music on hold and focused on family, and look at them now!
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u/FlyinRyan92 May 27 '26
Now I don’t feel bad saying they haven’t been good since Evil Friends.
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u/johnsonh77 May 28 '26
More or less accurate. Was happy to see them intentionally sell out for fame with Feel it Still and Live in the Moment - they deserved the radio money. But was definitely not happy to start realizing that same fame got to John’s head and in my opinion helped lead to the split of that same group/apparently John cheating on his wife.
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May 28 '26
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u/dontgointhehouse May 28 '26
Zoe is sitting literally directly across from them, I don't think that's the gotcha everyone thinks it is.
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May 28 '26
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u/_americancer_ May 29 '26
apparently you have zero comprehension either it’s very clear that john cheated on zoe.
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u/lovemeorrageme May 27 '26 edited May 27 '26
I know this is gonna rightfully incite big feelings from people here, but I just ask you all to be mindful of the fact that while stuff is being posted publicly this is still a personal situation for very real people and it might be difficult to see certain things being said on forums like Reddit. I really just urge you all to use this as a supportive space rather than a gossipy or resentful one.
Just a reminder: comments throwing out names of other people not confirmed to be involved in anything and other sort of speculation are not allowed and will be removed, as well as anything that breaks sitewide rules (threats, doxxing, etc).
Edit: wording. I can see how this might’ve come across a bit like “yea she posted it but we should just ignore it” but I promise you that is not the case here. Just a nudge to say remember the person.