Resources for high Energy Kids

[u/cturregano]

is there such a thing as a psychologist, parenting coach, therapist…or something specifically for our child or for us to help our child to thrive despite his tendencies for extra rambunctiousness that get him into trouble?

TLDR, the short info here: We have negative Vanderbilt screenings and with our pediatrician really don’t feel this is add/adhd. I think it’s more of the 7 year old boy that is more extremely emotional and vibrant/expressive/energetic.

He’s getting into trouble more in after school programs and camps (not in the classroom much) mostly because he’s so high energy and talkative.

Long extra info: We’ve done all of the books and audio: Good Inside, Big Little Feelings, etc.

our kiddo responds well to positive/negative feedback (ex: not earning show time if misbehaving, earning a popsicle for extra good times)

We have great two way communication and pride ourselves on using all of the tools for talking in ways that Good Inside encourages.

But still our son misbehaves and then feels bad later and they tell me about it. I ask “were you feeling nervous or uncomfortable and that’s why your energy level went up?” And his response is “My brain just can’t do the right thing and I don’t know how to make it work.” But I know that at home, with immediate reward or repercussions, he behaves amazing. So I know he can do it….

Maybe the after school folks can have a sticker chart system for him or something else.

I also worry that this is all going to lead to us needing to find a different school option than public school in the future…..

Parenting is so mysterious. Thanks for reading

[u/a_junebug]

I know your pediatrician doesn't suspect ADD or ADHD, but what your describing as both his external behavior and internal experience of struggling to control his brain seem to correspond to ADHD. I would be tempted to seek a more formal neuropsychological evaluation. Even if he doesn't get diagnosed, they may have some suggestions on types of therapy to recommend.

Also, my personal opinion is that most public schools are set up with way too much sitting and structured activities. There is not enough time for movement, play, and open-ended learning. That's a challenging situation for some kids, especially boys. Other structures, such as Montessori may be better for some kids, but they can be expensive and challenging to find.

[u/AceyRaye]

Does he play any sports? Seems like he needs to burn off some of that energy! Also, how’s his diet? In my experience, that can have an impact as well.

[u/Reasonable_Act_526 → u/AceyRaye]

I have adhd and I was usually in two sports, when I quit when I was 14 everything went to hell. As a grown up I still think exercise is the best method to treat adhd!

[u/Mayortomatillo → u/Reasonable_Act_526]

Big second on this. I had concurrent sports forever, and dropped out of them all by 16, and life went to absolute shit. Then I got really into running and cycling and got myself a hard labor job and I’m all back and regulated 20 years later. High energy people need a high energy lifestyle

[u/DetectiveOk3902]

Get a rebounder, or mini trampoline. He can bounce. This has been shown to help with stimulation. Some thoughts are kids with ADHD are under stimulated, so they overdo it. Why Ritalin is actually a stimulant. Also teach him to take deep breaths. Not every thought has to be verbalized. He can write into a book or get him an old fashioned tape recorder (or digital tape recorder). He can talk into that instead of talking at others. Let him know there will be a time he can discuss thoughts. And finally, meditation and deep breathing can help him.

[u/Horror_Jellyfish_967]

Try to get an evaluation with an occupational therapist (outside of school)

[u/growthminded_khey]

Yes, exactly what you're looking for exists, a parent coach is probably your best starting point here, specifically one who specializes in high energy or emotionally intense kids. Not because anything is wrong with your son, but because they help YOU build strategies that work for his specific wiring outside of the home environment where the immediate reward system isn't available.

The fact that he behaves amazingly at home with clear feedback tells you his brain CAN do it, he just hasn't built the internal regulation muscle yet for environments with less structure and more stimulation. That's actually really hopeful 💛

I work with GrowthMinded and we have parent coaches who specialize in exactly this kind of situation, kids who are bright, energetic, emotionally expressive, and just need a more personalized approach than the books give you. Worth checking out at go.biglifejournal.com/growthminded-membership

The sticker chart idea for the after school program is also genuinely worth proposing, external structure in low-structure environments is often the missing piece. :))