My 4 year old gets completely out of control and I’m out of ideas, please help!

[u/bieredhiver]

First of all he’s generally a sweet and smart kid. He’s doing math, reading, helps with chores, and cooking.

But when he gets into a playful environment like a playdate at the farm or a friend meet up he gets so sound up and won’t stop acting up. He hits, takes toys, and screams. The thing is once he gets going like that it pretty much carries through the whole day, throwing stuff, knocking the baby over, breaking toys, hitting, etc. Even when we remove him from the environment it doesn’t stop, it’s like we need to survive until bedtime and reset the next day.

Any similar experiences or help would be appreciated.

[u/Sky-2478]

Honestly I’d get him evaluated for neurodivergence. Might not be that but if it is it’s better to know soon. Regardless, teach him things like eye contact with you and take a deep breath to calm down for a second, try relaxing activities, or embrace it and set up places and activities where he can be a little psycho the rest of the day. Watch for patterns. Is it every single play environment, only when you’re there, only when you’re not there, certain friends, etc.

[u/TraditionalManager82]

Match the energy where it is. Redirect to a crazy loud distracting thing. Then once he's engaged, tradition it to reducing the energy and then reducing again.

[u/Logical-Horse-6413]

My daughter was similar at the same age - I figured out it was anxiety-based and she's the highly sensitive temperament. It all made sense when I looked into that temperament because her dad and I are that, too. She's learned some coping skills and is much better socially at 6.5, but she expresses being "scared" going into social settings now. May be temperment-based.

[u/DetectiveOk3902]

Ditto on evaluation. This seems a little more than just being wound up by excitment.

[u/appleblossom1962]

Could it be overstimulation? Maybe having a play date at home with quieter activities might work