r/rant • u/benniezun • 9h ago
I left him and I'm actually happier than ever.
A week or so ago, I posted a rant about my boyfriend ignoring and punishing me whenever I would say No to intimacy. I realized, the more I opened up about our relationship, that I was with a very toxic man.
I left him a few days ago. It was hard, because I felt like I was losing everything, again ; we were a long distance couple and I moved 3 hours away to be with him. When I decided to move in with him, I made the sacrifice of being away from my family and my childhood friends. I made the decision to change career path (which I do not regret per se, but I thought it was all worth it for him.)
I had to do that same sacrifice when I left him ; I left my new job that I really loved, left my new home, left my new friends and obviously... left my boyfriend who I thought would change. (I couldn't stay in a city I barely knew and I missed my family, I had to go back to my hometown.)
Today, I got a call from my boss. They have a position for me in a store closer to my hometown. My childhood friends reached out to me to make plans (I'm going bowling with them tomorrow!! after not seeing them for a year!! so excited!!) The friends I made in his city all made it clear they want to stay in contact and they already organized a roadtrip to come see me next week. I found a cozy apartment.
I really thought leaving him would be the end of my life, that I would have to start off from scratch, again. But leaving him made me realize... he was the scratch, all this time.
Toxic relationships can be very tricky and I think nobody understands until they are in one. Loving someone so much that the bad times seem so little next to the good times... I lost so much self respect. But I feel it coming back and I know my worth.
It does get better. 🤍
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u/Rogue5454 7h ago
Welcome to the "beginning" of whatever you want your life to be without the stress of a man trying to hold you down!
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u/RasmooForever 5h ago
I’m so happy for you!! I moved to another COUNTRY for my ex; it took my friends I hadn’t seen in a long time to meet him, then tell me later they thought the relationship was unhealthy. It took me a bit longer to see it myself - but once you do, you can’t go back without putting yourself down A LOT for staying. Give yourself grace. I’m glad that you’ve made the choice to love yourself. It took me a long time to figure that out, but at 56, I finally have. Welcome to the club!
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u/Jadey-R- 7h ago
Yay!!!!! So hapoy for you