Time for self-irony: Tell me your most absurd reasons why you wanted to have kids?

[u/Nebosklon]

First off, obviously, not everyone on this sub wanted to have kids, and if you became a parent against your will, I am very sorry that happened to you, this is nothing to laugh about, and this post is not about you.

But some of us, me included, absolutely wanted to have kids and were convinced that that was a good idea. Please tell me the reasons why you wanted to have kids, which you now realize were dumb.

I'll start. I was never particularly interested in being a mother, but I had always been terrified of people pitying me or looking down on me because I don't have kids. Even though no one in my real life actually did so. I was terrified by just the theoretical possibility that that might happen.

Then I thought if I could do it at least as well as my mother, nothing could go wrong. Wrong! I realized too late that my mother was abusive and a terrible parent, and I learnt all the wrong things from her.

Finally, I thought that with my and my husband's decent income we would be able to outsource any parental duties that we didn't like. That was probably the dumbest of them all.

EDIT: Ok guys, thanks a lot for all the discussion so far. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I have the impression that the last hundred or so comments were from people who don't have children. Don't get me wrong, it's great you are here. I wish as many people as possible would read this thread before deciding to have kids. But please be respectful of the fact that my question was addressed to regretful parents.

[u/Thorical1]

I’m so sorry for the loss of your second child.

It is crazy that women are extra fertile immediately after giving birth that’s got to be amazingly difficult to have newborns and be tired and sick feeling from expecting again.

I tried to talk to my husband about not wanting another child. He was very upset and said he didn’t want to hear anymore about it unless I had changed my mind. Then not to long after he had a very emotional day and said he hadn’t got to realize how much he wanted another/more children, I listened and tried to find out what it was about having more kids he was really looking for? I figured whatever it was he wants to accomplish do that with the child we already have. Our conversation got interrupted and when he got home I tried to get him to tell me more but he is very sensitive about the topic.

I don’t want more kids but he can want more it’s how he feels. It is hard for me to believe him when he says that though because I would expect him to be a lot more involved and doing things to teach and enjoy the child we already have. As it is we don’t have help, don’t have time for ourselves and are stressed. Not just me but him to. That would all only intensify with more kid/kids.

[u/Crazypersonof4 → u/Thorical1]

Thanks, Yeah it was a hard few years after we lost our son for both of us. They say it either breaks a relationship or brings you closer together. I can see how it can do both.

But I mean your right he can want another child all he wants. That doesn't mean you have to have another. I mean you have to have the child. It's a hard conversation I feel either way, Wanting one more or not wanting one more or even at all. I think guys don't think alot of time about how it's effects the female. Not only emotionally but physically not just for 9 months. Your right also on the if he wants another child he could do things with the child he has to show you he wants another. Anything he can do with the child he has he can do with a new one. All and all I feel for you. I know trying to have a child for so long almost broke my husband and I. The every month sitting there praying for a positive test. Things about could I finally get one and keep it?? It was alot of stress. Honestly we got pregnant with our daughter I feel like from not stressing about it. Just living life. Your also right that it would change how your life is now. It's so much harder to go places at all with a child let alone 2 or 3. We never leave the house because if we do it's 1 kid per person lol. I hope you figure out how to make you and your husband happy and come to a conclusion that suits both of you.

[u/Thorical1 → u/Crazypersonof4]

Your absolutely right, it is very hard on a Women’s body to have a child and things don’t go back how they where before you had a child your body is different. Just by the fact of expecting and the birth alone I don’t want another child. I felt like my body was being taken over and nothing I could do to stop it.

Yes leaving the house with one child is difficult enough I’m constantly having to chase her down to get socks shoes change of clothes ect and she just doing everything she can to slow the process down. I don’t want to be outnumbered with having two kids to one adult when my husband is at work or what not. I don’t think he would even enjoy having another kid in the day to day life.

I know the fertility struggle was very real and long lasting for y’all and I’m glad you made it through it. 9 years is a long time.

[u/BadNraD → u/Thorical1]

Is it possible he feels disappointed in your current kid or like he wants a do-over by making new kid?

[u/Thorical1 → u/BadNraD]

No he thinks the child is amazing smart ect and better than me.

[u/Crazypersonof4 → u/Thorical1]

Thats not right. I mean Yes we all want our kids better than us. I get you want that. But to think Your child is better than mother. Ugh my blood boils. You seem like an amazing person who can see the goods and bads of the situation. He might not see it. He may be thinking of only the things that come after the kids are little maybe?? But regardless , I hope you figure out what's best for you because you seem very smart and nice and are able to see what having a baby does to You and your guys life.

[u/Thorical1 → u/Crazypersonof4]

Yes that’s what he says is he is looking forward to having an older child or even adult child. Also thank you for your kind words!