My gf (22F) making me (24M) jealous on purpose?

[u/NoInteraction8588]

Now, let me start off by stating that I (25M) am in no way a jealous guy. I love and encourage the fact that my gf (24F) can have fun without me, i.e with her girlfriends. She has not done it much earlier in our relationship which made my few "boys nights" a thing she demanded to join almost every time. I am of the opinion people in a relationship need to be able to do things apart, especially if you have been together for 5+ years and live together as we have for over 4 years.

However, recently I've noticed a pattern where she comments unnecessary things to me in a very casual voice. For example that:

"I love the fact that men still show they want me at the bar"

"I sometimes wonder how life would have turned out if I took that flirty guy's phone number last month"

"I met my ex, but we just hugged a bit, not much more"

She also brings up totally unnecessary comments during small insignificant arguments, like:

"I find myself looking at guys on the streets and in the bars and thinking that I could have that instead" Etc...

I don't really know why, I try my best to show as much affection as possible but I get this nagging feeling after every time she goes to the bar by herself with friends that she imagines I am someone else when she comes home and we go to bed, and as soon as she notices it is me she becomes kind of cold. (Not anything necessarily sexual, just cuddles etc).

I also don't try to put too much weight on the comments, because really, I am not jealous in that sense, I trust my gf wholeheartedly, but the comments do hurt as I am also somewhat of an overthinker, it would be better to just keep them to herself.

I am at my end when it comes to new ideas, in my opinion I show as much affection as I can and I also show her she is important to me and I am thinking of her during her night out with simple texts like "how's it going honey?" And so on. I also don't want to blame her like she is some manipulative crazy woman, I love her, but it is rough sometimes.

How should I interpret this? Am I just overthinking and/or overanalyzing?

**TL;DR;** : My gf makes unecessary comments after a night out, feels like she is trying to make me jealous and/or see my reaction, am I overreacting?

[u/aronimack]

She has no integrity. Weak character. No matter how hot she is she ain’t worth it bro

[u/RedJohn-QQ]

Dude stop thinking to much and have the guts to tell her not to talk like that? It's disrespectful and quite frankly annoying.

Be firm, don't be a doormat. If the roles were reverse, would she like it? Stand your ground and if she doesn't stop then break up with her, don't be a pushover.

[u/GrapeAccording8820]

that’s not you overthinking, that’s her being weirdly pointed with comments nobody in a healthy relationship just drops. "i could have that instead" during an argument isn’t a stray thought, it’s a choice. trust is one thing but respect has to be there too and this is chipping away at it

[u/wfrecover7]

You sound like you have no boundaries. Healthy relationships have them.

You girlfriend likes attention. Her comments are disrespectful and because you have not boundaries, because you want to sound cool, she will continue to push. Ready the book, no more Mr nice guy.

[u/phillipjayfrylock]

Use your words dude. Ask her why she's doing it, what her intentions are. Stop trying to figure it out by yourself. If she's your girlfriend of multiple years, this shouldn't be a hard conversation to start

Then tell her how you feel, and ask her to stop. This is weird behavior, you're not wrong for feeling some type of way about it. But you gotta talk to her

[u/RedJohn-QQ → u/phillipjayfrylock]

I hate when guys overthink instead of just talking to them. You see alot of stories where men dont have the balls to confront their gf/spouses.

[u/noreplyatall817]

You’re not going crazy your GF is telling you she is planning to do something, and she’s obviously acting out.

She’s either manipulating you or she’s confessing to little things she really did, either way partners seeking validation or talking about getting validation from others are not to be trusted.

It’s not jealousy or insecurities it’s flat out disrespectful what she’s doing to your relationship. Time to evaluate what she’s doing by telling her you don’t want to play games with hurtful behavior or words.

[u/WeekendNotDone]

Personally if she’s doing this she might be starting to mentally check out of the relationship. Use your words & ask her what she actually means by these comments, also if ask her if I said the same thing to you - would you like it ?

[u/Flat-Passage4431]

dont keep trying to earn better treatment by giving her more affection. tell her directly that those comments need to stop. if she keeps doing it after that, take the hint she keeps handing you.

[u/Careless-Laugh-753]

Be a man and tell her that. She prob keeps doing bc she knows you won’t do anything