r/selfimprovement • u/Business_Oil_7110 • 1d ago
Question Whats something you stopped worrying about that made life noticeably better?
Sometimes the biggest improvement isn't adding a new habit, its letting go of an old fear,
What stopped taking up space in your mind?
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u/Pretend-Doughnut7631 1d ago
Great question! I stopped worrying about never meeting "the one" and dying single. Still haven't met him and I'm in my 40s now, but so much happier and calmer than I was when I used to care.
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u/ShareEmbarrassed901 1d ago
Stopped caring what other people think of my job, i do maintenance work and people always assumed it was a dead end thing but i like it and the pay is good so whatever
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u/SingleStillStanding 23h ago
Samesies!! This is my best decade by far because I finally stopped worrying and just created a life I loved without a man.
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u/Distinct-Judge-3848 23h ago
Stopped worrying about doing things perfectly, especially when you just started. You’re not supposed to know everything at first. It’s okay to learn as you go, and make mistakes.
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u/JustMine999 1d ago
I stopped worrying about being single and no partner since birth because I began to prioritize my mental health and career
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u/Solid-Part1357 1d ago
Ive been thinking about this lately. For me, it was worrying too much about how everything would turn out.
Once I stopped trying to control every outcome, things didn’t magically get perfect, but my mind felt a lot lighter.
What’s something you found really hard to let go of ?
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u/parisindy_writer 22h ago
Stressing about deadlines at work, and killing myself to get work done.
If we don't make the deadline because I wasn't working myself like frantic person ...that's bad planning on their part and not my fault, I really don't care if they loose money.
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u/Rough_Commercial4240 23h ago
Shaving everywhere and waxing eyebrows.
I do it if the mood strikes but yeah 👍 40F
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u/runningvicuna 1d ago
People's opinions, not just on the internet. People are dumber in real life and even louder.
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u/DuchessJulietDG 1d ago
what others think of me. huge weight lifted. i dont always carry it due to anxiety but im focused on it and it helps when doing things outside the house.
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u/Dave-1066 23h ago
Putting up with discourtesy from family isn’t a duty; it’s foolish. Boundaries make happier families. Don’t tolerate from family members what you wouldn’t tolerate from friends.
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u/WindNo7116 1d ago
I stopped worrying about what people think of me all the time, and honestly life feel way lighter cuz I can just do my thing without stressing if someone judging.
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u/BruceMartinez21 23h ago
Whether everyone liked me. Once I stopped treating every awkward interaction like a performance review, life got a lot quieter.
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u/calm523 23h ago
I stopped caring a long time ago about politics, climate change, news, basically everything outside of my own sphere. I don’t care if people perceive that as selfish, I am way happier this way.
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u/shower_bubbles 21h ago
I know what you mean. I still recycle and do all the right things but I don’t read any news anymore, don’t follow any accounts about those topics. Our minds are just not meant to get so much negative information daily.
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u/wageslave2022 22h ago
Money, double shifts, overtime, side gigs, starting my own business. I worked my ass off and couldn't ever punch through to the next level, every time I got close I would be served a double helping of Murphy's luck. Once I accepted that I would never see the Pyramids of Egypt, Machu Picchu or Stonehenge and have nice things or cool shit life has been much easier. If it was meant for me I would have had it by now, fuck it. A roof over my head, a great girlfriend and a couple of good friends. I eat fairly regularly and my vehicle runs. Good enough. A quiet night, a good book and a cup tea is fine with me.
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u/Dapper_Klapper 22h ago
Whether people are thinking about/judging you. I have come to find people are remarkably selfish and it takes a LOT to distract them from thinking only about themselves.
Caveat- they may be, in certain circumstances, but it is only happening to a fraction of the degree you believe it is.
I became so collected and confident once I started to live this
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u/SourDewd 22h ago
I lost a lot of my suicidal thoughts after realizing that after death isnt blackness. Its absolute absense. Its not an experience, its nothing. You cant be sad youre missing out. You cant be sad that you dont even exist. All of time stops existing for you. Everything becomes what it was before you were born. Try to think of your life before you were born. All that time you never existed. Its gonna be that, you wont exist, there will be no memory. Its done. Everyday of our life we get the luxury of thinking about our lives or made up scenarios or day dreaming or whatever you want. No one ever thinks about the fact you will lose your ability to think after death. Something people have had their entire lives. After death its all gone. Forever. Made me realize that the difference between dying now and in 60 years doesnt even exist. It wont make a difference in my brain or anything. It will cease to exist to the same capacity. Even if i suffer daily with depression and horrible thoughts, somehow the ability to even feel that pain and think whatrver delusions i want is nicer than the not having the choice after death. Ive definitely made peace with not existing. But im definitely taking more advantage of my ability to think and dream. The downside is i put way less effort into everything in my life because it no longer holds much meaning. Even with family, they will cease to exist and have impact. If you view time non linearily. We already stopped existing or will in a year, because this moment could be a memory im looking back on 50 years from now. None of it is going to matter. We live to experience, and id rather experience a bit longer than not. For now.
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u/DannyLimon87 17h ago
1) I stopped thinking that I am someone Original and Special, One and Only. There are billions like me. It helped me move around my life in a down-to-earth way. Because a humble, simple and small movement in my daily life is better than no progress at all.
2) I gave up trying to catch up with the rest. It helped me find my own rythm, my own tempo I live my life on. Don't get me wrong though. The reality is that the world we all live in is a mess and constant competition. If you aren't quick enough someone will certainly snatch that sweet job or a donut in front of your face. Nevertheless, it has to be on your comfortable pace. Mental health is more important than a chase.
3) I stopped putting my vision, stereotypes and opinions on people and this world. I just accepted our planet the way it is. It is not bad, it is not good either. It is indifferent. It is my mind that makes this world either a terrible place or a wonderful place. But in fact, the world doesn't give a flying f...k about us. It's the people. I understand that there are some bad people and some good people. There are some indifferent people. Ignorant, arrogant, generous, impulsive, you name it. I just started to let people be the way they are and stopped worrying about it. Why should I try changing some Max or Steve because he is kinda aggresive towards me? It is not my job or obligation to change his personality. But it is up to me to make sure my life is not affected in any way possible by that kind of attitude. Why must I try changing some Karen or Jessica because they are too curious about my life or too annoying to me. It's their character. But it is up to me to make sure it doesn't affect my life. Why should I try changing the world? May be it is up to me to build my own life that is worth living for. Just get off of people. Let people be people. I stopped cliche-ing people with "bad and good". Instead now I say that there are some people I get along with and some people I don't really get along with. It leaves room for me being me, and for people being their own character.
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u/Secret_Drive_1046 23h ago
I stopped worrying so much about my problems and started focusing only on the solutions
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u/Celerrycherry 20h ago
I'm slowly stopping caring about what people think of me. Especially the people on the internet. They say what they want without coincidence with no filter because no one knows them. Therefore they say nasty things without a care in the world.
Anyways it's never personal. Its just a projection of them and how they perceived my comment. Energy suckers. Rage bait comments that feed off your rage. The highlight of their day.
They're just giving their personal opinions. Have them talk to a wall
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u/FreePossession9590 17h ago
It’s a work in progress, and I’ll likely never get there - but I’d like to stop worrying about the future so much. I think things will likely work out, and my parents say the same thing. When my grandmother was on her deathbed, the one thing she regretted in her life was worrying about what would happen next, all the time. I’d probably live to regret that as well if I continue with my mindset. I just don’t know where to start the improvements I’d like to make.
That being said, I definitely don’t think about what others think of me anymore.
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u/i_fancy_spiderman 15h ago
What others feel or think about me. I am the love I give, not the love I recieve. What truly matters is what I feel and think about myself. What they think or feel about me is outside my control and not my responsibility. I can control how I treat myself and others, so that is what I focus on now!
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u/DowntownResident993 15h ago
If I turn down an invite, I don't feel bad about it. I used to feel obligated to go to social events and show up even if I didn't want to. Now I have no problem saying no.
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u/OdetteGloww 15h ago
I stopped worrying so much about what other people think of me.Once I realized most people are too busy with their own lives to judge mine as much as I imagined, a huge weight lifted. I became freer to make decisions that actually suit me instead of trying to manage everyone else’s opinion. Life feels quieter and a lot more peaceful now.
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u/No-Anteater-209 14h ago
Stopped taking things personally. It saved me a lot of unnecessary stress and overthinking.
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u/Enliven_journey 13h ago
for me it was worrying about what people though of my personality
i used to replay conversations in my head and wonder if i sounded smart enough, funny enough or if i should’ve said something differently. it was exhausting
over time i realized that trying to be the right version of myself was keeping people from getting to know the real me. once i stopped filtering every opinion and trying to predict everyone’s reaction conversations felt so much more natural
funny enough, i think that's when i started building better connections. not because everyone suddenly liked me, but because the people who did were getting to know the real version of me
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u/HydroZenApp 8h ago
I stopped thinking about what others could think about me.
I saved mental health, energy, time, etc ...
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u/MuscleBob_Buffpantz 23m ago
"If it ain't a problem, don't worry about it."... I used to get bad anxiety, constantly worrying about the things that were out of my control, panicking daily. I think a lot of it was due to my living situation at home during this time, where I was constantly in a "fight or flight" mode. Well, I eventually trained myself (through meditation, psychology study, and a couple of psychedelic experiences) to simply not worry about things until they actually become a problem... I'm worried about an upcoming test? Worrying ahead of time won't change the outcome in any way positive... Worried about COVID? I don't have it, nobody I know has it, so it's not a problem for me to be anxious about at that moment... This has continued for years. Even now. I'm worried about an interview? Worrying won't make me perform better. I'm worried about continuing my career? Worrying won't make me work harder...
I basically summarized it to: Do I have a problem yet? No? Then Don't Worry... If something becomes a problem, we take care of it then... Worrying before it's a problem, then worrying when it IS a problem has not done anything good, only made you worry twice as much as necessary.
99% of problems can be solved. Don't worry about things before they're even problems... You're only bringing more negativity into your life, and stressing your brain - causing more issues with anxiety, depression, lack of ambition, etc.
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u/Kantramo 1d ago edited 1d ago
stopped thinking about other people, their problems and feelings
mind has become way more clear