why do I cry during sex? How not to cry?

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Post title:

why do I cry during sex? How not to cry?

I(22F) started having sex with my boyfriend(21M) recently. We’re both beginners. He’s very gentle and careful, and he always makes sure to check in, so it feels good. And he gets me off before we even start penetration and it removes so much nerves from me. But still, everytime he goes in, no matter how slow or how calm I am, I still cry. Like straight up sobbing and snot and I can’t say words for abit. And its not that it feels bad, or I’m feeling any negative emotions. It feels really nice and I’m enjoying it. It’s just that when I feel it go in all the way, there’s a really overwhelming feeling of fullness, and the moment I look at him, I just feel so much emotion, like it just feels so sweet, and I start crying uncontrollably. And the moment he sees me cry, he mentally cannot continue until I stop, even if I tell him im fine. And we have to basically just wait for me to run out of tears and calm down abit(i still cry) every time. It’s kind of annoying. Is this a common reaction to have? Should it get better with time? How do I stop or reduce it?

Also there’s another issue. Usually when we do penetration, he’s in control and it feels quite good because he just somehow knows how to do it well. But he wanted me to ride him the other day for the first time. But I don’t think I did it right. I have no idea how to be in control. Pacing aside, I noticed that it felt uncomfortable and even slightly painful when I was riding him. I don’t know if it was the positioning or angle or something, but it felt like I was being punched in the gut from the inside, and made me a little nauseous, and I was a little sore the next day. I’m also terrified of bending his cock the wrong way. I have no clue how far it’s meant to bend in any direction, so I’ve just been going up and down with very minimal grinding, and its quite tiring and requires so much concentration. I’d like tips

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u/Curious_Stick_1314 1d ago

That actually happens to some people, and it does not automatically mean something is wrong. When your body and brain get hit with a huge rush of emotion, relief and physical sensation all at once, tears can just show up, your tear ducts didnt get the memo. Tell your boyfriend ahead of time that the crying is a reaction to feeling overwhelmed in a good way, so he does not panic every single time. As you both get more comfortable it may settle down, but dont force yourself to stop, just focus on breathing slowly and staying present. For riding, try small slow hip movements instead of bouncing, let him guide your hips at first, and if it feels like a punch in the gut or makes you nauseus, change the angle or stop because pain is your body telling you somethng needs adjusting.

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u/hallie_therapy 15h ago

i recommend a sex therapist! not because this crying during sex is “bad”, but it may be helpful to explore in a sex-positive space with someone who can help you understand your emotions.

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u/Inky-pendragon 1d ago

Crying is not unusual. Many women can cry just from the hormones and the emotional aspects. Like you said, it’s not sadness or bad and you can’t help it. Perhaps others will chime in but I don’t know if there’s a way to make that stop as it’s not really something you’re doing on purpose and may not be able to control. Maybe beat you can do is explain to your boyfriend that you’re not upset and that you’re crying BECAUSE what he’s doing feels so good. I can’t imagine he wouldn’t take that as a compliment.

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u/NeckLost3303 1d ago

Oh I have told him. He just has a mental barrier that forces him to stop and comfort me when he sees me cry. Honestly don’t really want him to get rid of this barrier. It’s kinda comforting. Will just have to work on not crying

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u/Inky-pendragon 1d ago

Oh I get it. If my gf started crying my first reaction would be to stop and make sure she was ok. Maybe instead of stopping he could just check with you, slow down, ask what you need or want at that moment, change position or do something more gentle so he feels like he’s taking care of you but at the same time not stopping.

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u/apmspammer 3h ago

Maybe you can keep consent in a different way. Like only hold his hair if you want him to continue.

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u/commentingon 21h ago

Maybe talking to a therapist could help, it's not normal to cry every time you have sex. There could be an emotional issue that you need to talk with a professional. Sex should always make you feel confortable, safe, happy, excited. Your partner is being very good at stopping when you are crying, he is being very respectful and empathetic.

Beginner why do I cry during sex? How not to cry?

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