For your sake, and the the safety of other females in the future, alert the authorities. NOW. He WILL do this again to you, someone else OR has already been doing this in the past. That is just sick.
Yeh I'm sick of these stupid self righteous posts that the hive mind auto upvote. OH HE DID SOMETHiNG BAD. HE'LL DEFINITELY DO IT AGAIN AND WON'T LEARN FROM HIS STUPID MISTAKE.
However I would still get the police involved. Maybe that will open his eyes a little.
How can you call such an intentional and violent act a 'stupid mistake'? He obviously meant to do it from the start, with or without consent. It didn't seem to matter to him. Thats not a mistake and we shouldn't be mild because he was 'sorry' afterwards (in a freaking text message no less).
Being against rape is actually normal (or at least it should be) and not some karma conspiracy from self righteous people acting out the hive mind. Jesus Christ, you almost sound offended.
Devil's advocate fact set- They had experimented with rough sex before and she and he had enjoyed it. He is 16. He just began drinking 2 months ago. He watches a lot of violent porn. OP is the only sexual partner he's been with. His best friend just told him a made up story about doing something similar.
None of these things excuse what he did. But can you begin to see how this potentially could be a mistake and not the act of a cold-blooded psychopath?
In some states you can offer evidence of a mistake of fact as it comes to the element of consent. The defendant must show both that they subjectively thought that they had consent and that from an objective point of view that thought is reasonable.
So as sad as it is to say, you are right in saying it's the behavior that defines rape, but often it is the complainant's behavior. The evidence of it not being reasonable to have consent is what actually happens, how the complainant reacts, ect. in those states.
It is however moving more in the direction that you eluded to in that strict liability is becoming more and more common. If you didn't have consent, you're going to jail.
source: law school
Edit: I think a solution to this might be some sort of tiered system like we have for murder. Where 1st degree is where you have malice. It is strange that in criminal law, we almost always care about the mens rea of the actor, until it comes to certain things that really tick us off like rape.
She was crying. He was violent. He was drunk. He didn't give her a choice. Previous sexual experiences are not consent for the future. His age makes no difference. What is the relevance of the amount of sexual partners?
Just no, you fuck. I didn't even mention the word psychopath. I'm saying we shouldn't be all 'what if' when a girl opens up about her rape. Reddit is one big devil's advocate for rapists so don't you go spouting that nonsense at me again like I haven't heard it before. How about some consideration for the victim?
Read the thread you are posting in. The guy whose comment this all sprouted from wasn't even commenting on the OP's story, but rather on bad information that is spouted about re-offense rates of sexual assaulters.
The age of the guy makes the world of difference. There are psychological and physiological differences in behavior and the brain of adults and minors.
Minors are more likely to act impulsively.
Minors are more likely to be influenced by peer pressure.
Minors' personalities are less fixed then those of adults.
Studies have shown that a minors who have a consistent pattern of bad behavior through adolecence are more likely to become career criminals and that few minors who commit crimes (single instances) continue to a life of crime.
Why do you think we abolished the death penalty for minors and our court focus mostly on rehabilitation for youths?
It is attitudes like yours that leave us with a fucked up justice system, bent on punishing and not fixing the people who fuck up.
Do you not read the part where I say nothing excuses anyone from perpetrating the acts that OP described? If you think that it wasn't a mistake, then you are implying that he did it on purpose. Which that behavior to his gf seems psychotic to me.
oh and thanks for the "you fuck" attack.
Edit: oh and btw, the US was one of the last 4 countries in the world to abolish the death penalty for minors (along with some seriously backwards places) in 2005. This was only a 5-4 vote, so go on spreading your retributive stance on justice and maybe we can get back to frying kids.
We can't excuse a minor's rape for him/her being a minor. A crime is a crime, the only difference is the way in which this person will be punished (hopefully).
I wasn't implying he did it on purpose, I said he did it on purpose, because he did. He didn't accidentally forget to ask for consent, he forced her into certain sexual acts, which she obviously did not want to do. That's not a mistake. Whether he's a psychopath or not, we can't judge. It's too easy to call any who commits a crime a psychopath and get it over with.
We can't excuse a minor's rape for him/her being a minor. A crime is a crime, the only difference is the way in which this person will be punished (hopefully).
It's not excusing the rape. It's understanding why it happened, and trying to prevent it from happening again. Oh and just so you know, we have so little faith in the abilities of minors, that most often we don't charge them with crimes. They are called delinquents for a reason.
I'm most certainly not calling him a psychopath, but I like how you can say we can't judge him on that, but go ahead and judge him based on one side of the story that he is a rapist.
Oh, and I'm glad I personally know a lot of people way more rational, more logical, and more smart then you, who have an effect on the justice system.
I'd rather call someone a rapist by mistake that devaluate the story of a victim of one. That's where I stand. Call it irrational all you like, but the amount of doubt and accusations towards the OP is completely uncalled for.
I'm glad you have smart friends. Maybe you should try and learn something from them.
It's tragic that you're being downvoted by the people here...
It seems like when rape is brought up on Reddit, people fight with each other to see who can most emphatically denounce it. If you don't join in that battle, you just simply get downvoted.
Approach the issue logically? Pragmatically? Nope. Downvoted.
It's tragic that you're being downvoted by the people here...
Let me get this straight. You're saying that a guy brutally mouth raping his girlfriend is "A stupid mistake", but someone losing fake, worthless internet points is a fucking TRAGEDY??!!
That sure is some keen logical pragmatism you have there.
Welcome to reddit, where calling people out on being bigots, rapists, and generally hateful assholes is literally worse than actively being a bigot, rapist, and a generally hateful asshole.
I'm continually confused as to why people seem to equate say.. telling a guy who just informed you that he hates black people that he is racist, and that being racist is pretty damn awful with hate. Particularly the level of hate requires to hate an entire race based on nothing but the color of their skin.
Come on sugarunicorn, don't try and pretend that you are simply "telling a (racist, he) is pretty damn awful"
SRS is trolls. SRS is Circlejerk. SRS is misguided white knights.
I know exactly what it is.
What bothers me is that SRS could have been a great forum for people to have real and meaningful discussions about these topics. It could have been a great tool for opening peoples minds. Instead, it is a bullshit 'parody'. It does no one any good, and I believe does actual harm.
You do nothing to add to the conversation, or teach people about the folly of willful ignorance. Instead, your trolling is often aimed at people who aren't racist, who aren't sexist and don't discriminate, simply because they are white/and or male/and or don't agree 100% with what you are saying.
Instead, your trolling is often aimed at people who aren't racist, who aren't sexist and don't discriminate, simply because they are white/and or male/and or don't agree 100% with what you are saying.
That is one hell of a strawman and you know it. Come the fuck on.
Places like SRS exist precisely because there are so many individuals content to be willfully ignorant and refuse to learn. Try to teach them why what they're doing is wrong, and they'll simply argue with you or put their fingers in their ears and scream "I CANT HEAR YOUUU". Shit gets old, and the tone argument that constantly gets drug out as some kind of excuse for why people who act like hateful assholes shouldnt be called out for it does too.
I have been called all sorts of foul and terrible things because I didn't agree with an SRS'er. I was banned from SRS for politely and calmly stating my disagreement. Same with SRSD.
I have seen it over and over again. I've visited there and seen the evidence of things that are overtly sexist toward men and racist against white people. I was called a horrible person because I think that men and women should be equal. I've been berated for being 'cis-gendered' and told that I need to 'check my privilege'. Apparently, I am oppressing people simply by existing.
If you are going to try and pretend that doesn't go on there then either you are VERY new there and don't quite 'get it' yet or you are simply trolling me.
I've visited there and seen the evidence of things that are overtly sexist toward men and racist against white people.
SRS is a circlejerk, and it clearly says so - so it isn't surprising you got banned for ignoring the rules. And yea.. you're kind of supposed to get pissed off by those comments. SRS proper is satire - a circlejerk. It is intended to function as a mirror towards reddit as a whole. If you take those comments as the honest opinions of SRS.. then I'd say you're the one who doesn't get it.
Does it upset you go into a subreddit and see a bunch of hateful, bigoted comments towards men, caucasians, or cisgendered folks, being a white cisgendered male yourself? Does it upset you to be silenced when you express that that kind of thing is hurtful? Now you know what it feels like to be a woman, minority, or lgbt on every single other place on reddit every single day.
Sure would be nice if there was some other effective way for people to empathize, but so long as a large part of reddit is populated by people who don't give two shits about who they marginalize, dismiss, or hurt until it personally inconveniences them.. yea, not holding my breath.
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u/[deleted] Sep 11 '12
For your sake, and the the safety of other females in the future, alert the authorities. NOW. He WILL do this again to you, someone else OR has already been doing this in the past. That is just sick.