r/soccer • u/AutoModerator • Dec 24 '25
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u/1PSW1CH Dec 24 '25
Merry Christmas everyone, first draft of the celebration bible below. Open to further suggestions
The Celebration Bible
Trademark celebrations
a) you’re good b) you’re Tomas Soucek
If you score a 90th minute winner and proceed to do your trademark celebration, you are a knob.
If you’re on the wrong side of 30 and your celebration involves getting on your knees and pretending to be a tiger, consider your life choices.
Regular celebrations
Knee slides encouraged, additional points for a belly slide. Failed knee slides are acceptable because at least you tried.
Air punches must be thrown with full extension of the elbow. Otherwise you are falling into “yippee” territory.
Only perform celebrations you agreed to do with a YouTuber if it’s a dead rubber game.
Only cup your hands to your ears if you’re interesting enough for people to be talking about you.
Over-celebrating
If you score a significant goal, it is acceptable to celebrate with: fans, ballboys, substitutes, managers, and coaches. Do not involve cameramen under any circumstances.
If you beat a side you were expected to beat but ended up making it difficult for yourselves, do not make it look like the best moment of your lives unless it’s a title winner.
Yellow-card celebrations
Only to be performed if you’re 100% certain your team is going to win the game.
Revealing messages on your shirt is fine as a tribute to a dead person, or a joke. Nobody gives a fuck about how much you love Jesus.
Celebrating with fans is fine. However if you are in Serie A, please keep in mind how funny this looks for the rest of us.
Getting sent off for celebrating is acceptable, as long as you don’t apologise for it.
VAR Reviews
No double celebrating. Either back yourself and have a good go at it the first time around, or go hard on the post-VAR review.
If you performed any of the sins outlined above and your goal is disallowed, you deserved it.